deep baritone.
“Sure I do, Ray. I’m your friend, remember?”
Ray takes a long drag off the cigarette. The smoke rises slowly around his tired face, framing it eerily for a brief moment before disappearing into the darkness.
“We got a foreclosure notice in the mail this afternoon,” he says. “We’re three months behind on the mortgage.”
“Why didn’t you say something? I’ll loan you some money.”
“I appreciate it, but I don’t borrow money from my friends.”
“You’ll pay it back.”
“You don’t understand, Joe. I’m three months behind now. It’s going to be at least another six months before I can get a hearing in front of the board. If I get my license back, which isn’t guaranteed by any means, it’ll take me another six months to get back on my feet. The mortgage is twenty-five hundred a month. You want to loan me thirty grand that I won’t be able to pay back for a year or two?”
“Sure. Caroline has taken good care of our money. I can handle thirty grand.”
“Thanks, buddy,” he says, “but I can’t accept. I just can’t. I wish I’d had your foresight. Saved a bunch of money, you know? God knows I’ve made a lot of it in the past fifteen years. But I grew up with nothing, and I’ve always wanted Toni and Tommy to have the best of everything. Nice home, nice cars, nice clothes, good food. And Christmas? I’m a damned fool at Christmastime. Toni calls me Santa.”
“I know,” I say, smiling at the thought. Ray spends thousands on food and gifts for underprivileged families every year. He donates to churches and welfare organizations. “I’ve seen what you do at Christmas.”
“I’m not that far in debt except for the mortgage, but Tommy’s college expenses ate up almost all of our savings.”
Duke University’s baseball program gave Tommy a scholarship that paid for half of his tuition and his books. But Ray pays the rest: the other half of the tuition, Tommy’s food and clothing, his car and insurance and gasoline, the rent for his apartment, his walking-around money. Ray has told me that it costs him nearly forty thousand dollars a year to keep Tommy in school at Duke.
“If it weren’t for Toni’s job, we’d starve,” Ray says.
I shake my head and sigh. “Amazing, isn’t it? The power that one man can have over another just because he wears an ugly black dress.”
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamed about killing him. I’d like to kill him slowly.”
His tone is ominous. I decide to change the subject.
“Isn’t there anything else you can do for a while? For money?”
“Like what? I’ve been on the front page of the newspaper four times already. Green’s got everybody thinking I’m some kind of criminal, a whack job lurking in the shadows, just waiting for my opportunity to take down the entire system. Nobody around here is going to hire me. Besides, the only thing I know how to do is practice law.”
“I heard about Tommy having to leave Duke.” I look over at Ray. “I’m sorry, Ray, truly sorry.”
Ray’s shoulders slump forward and his head drops. I can hear him breathing slowly in the stillness.
“That’s the worst part of all this,” he says. “The effect it’s having on my wife and son. Tommy acts like it’s no problem. He hasn’t complained, hasn’t said a word about it other than to tell me he knows I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“And Toni? Everything good with her?”
“I think it’s beginning to wear on her. I’m not exactly a joy to live with these days, and she loves the house. Losing the house will tear her up. And the thought of her being torn up tears me up.”
I look at him and see a tear glistening on his cheek. He wipes it away with the back of his hand.
“Jesus,” he says. “I’m acting like a child.”
“Don’t apologize. I probably would have fallen on my sword by now.”
Ray turns toward me. His eyes lock on to mine briefly, then drop toward the ground.
“Do you
“Sure I do, Ray. I’m your friend, remember?”
Ray takes a long drag off the cigarette. The smoke rises slowly around his tired face, framing it eerily for a brief moment before disappearing into the darkness.
“We got a foreclosure notice in the mail this afternoon,” he says. “We’re three months behind on the mortgage.”
“Why didn’t you say something? I’ll loan you some money.”
“I appreciate it, but I don’t borrow money from my friends.”
“You’ll pay it back.”
“You don’t understand, Joe. I’m three months behind now. It’s going to be at least another six months before I can get a hearing in front of the board. If I get my license back, which isn’t guaranteed by any means, it’ll take me another six months to get back on my feet. The mortgage is twenty-five hundred a month. You want to loan me thirty grand that I won’t be able to pay back for a year or two?”
“Sure. Caroline has taken good care of our money. I can handle thirty grand.”
“Thanks, buddy,” he says, “but I can’t accept. I just can’t. I wish I’d had your foresight. Saved a bunch of money, you know? God knows I’ve made a lot of it in the past fifteen years. But I grew up with nothing, and I’ve always wanted Toni and Tommy to have the best of everything. Nice home, nice cars, nice clothes, good food. And Christmas? I’m a damned fool at Christmastime. Toni calls me Santa.”
“I know,” I say, smiling at the thought. Ray spends thousands on food and gifts for underprivileged families every year. He donates to churches and welfare organizations. “I’ve seen what you do at Christmas.”
“I’m not that far in debt except for the mortgage, but Tommy’s college expenses ate up almost all of our savings.”
Duke University’s baseball program gave Tommy a scholarship that paid for half of his tuition and his books. But Ray pays the rest: the other half of the tuition, Tommy’s food and clothing, his car and insurance and gasoline, the rent for his apartment, his walking-around money. Ray has told me that it costs him nearly forty thousand dollars a year to keep Tommy in school at Duke.
“If it weren’t for Toni’s job, we’d starve,” Ray says.
I shake my head and sigh. “Amazing, isn’t it? The power that one man can have over another just because he wears an ugly black dress.”
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamed about killing him. I’d like to kill him slowly.”
His tone is ominous. I decide to change the subject.
“Isn’t there anything else you can do for a while? For money?”
“Like what? I’ve been on the front page of the newspaper four times already. Green’s got everybody thinking I’m some kind of criminal, a whack job lurking in the shadows, just waiting for my opportunity to take down the entire system. Nobody around here is going to hire me. Besides, the only thing I know how to do is practice law.”
“I heard about Tommy having to leave Duke.” I look over at Ray. “I’m sorry, Ray, truly sorry.”
Ray’s shoulders slump forward and his head drops. I can hear him breathing slowly in the stillness.
“That’s the worst part of all this,” he says. “The effect it’s having on my wife and son. Tommy acts like it’s no problem. He hasn’t complained, hasn’t said a word about it other than to tell me he knows I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“And Toni? Everything good with her?”
“I think it’s beginning to wear on her. I’m not exactly a joy to live with these days, and she loves the house. Losing the house will tear her up. And the thought of her being torn up tears me up.”
I look at him and see a tear glistening on his cheek. He wipes it away with the back of his hand.
“Jesus,” he says. “I’m acting like a child.”
“Don’t apologize. I probably would have fallen on my sword by now.”
Ray turns toward me. His eyes lock on to mine briefly, then drop toward the ground.
“Do you
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