not wrong.”
“Whatever happened to you,” said Calliande. “Whatever tragedy that made you leave the Three Kingdoms and join the church…if you forgot it, would you have still accepted baptism and a new name? Would you still be the man you are today?”
“I suppose not,” said Caius. “I suspect I would have remained at Khald Tormen.”
“You would be a different man,” said Calliande. “I don’t know who I really am. You say I am valiant and kind, but I can only remember the last eighty days or so. Suppose we succeed and I recover my memories. I will become again the woman that I was. How might that change me?”
“Surely not for the worse,” said Caius.
“Do you think so?” said Calliande. “I was willing to seal myself away below the Tower of Vigilance for centuries. I had to know that everyone I ever knew or loved would be dead by the time I awoke. Any friends. Any brothers or sisters.” The brief memory of her father, the one thing she recalled from her past life, flashed before her eyes. “Even a husband and children, if they did not go into the long sleep with me. Everyone I ever knew. I was willing to outlive them and awake into a world of strangers, all to stop the Frostborn.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “What kind of woman does such a thing to herself?”
“A brave one,” said Caius.
“Bravery and folly are not mutually exclusive,” said Calliande. “Nor are they separate from pride. Perhaps I was a proud fool, and am now paying the price for it.”
“You do not know that for certain,” said Caius, “so it is foolish to castigate yourself for something that you may not have even done.”
“I know,” said Calliande, taking a deep breath. “I know this, too. Let us say that I followed the desires of my heart and body and seduced Ridmark. Then I recovered my memories, and they changed me into another woman entirely. Would that be fair to him? Or to me?”
“Likely not,” said Caius.
“So, you see, I am not angry with Morigna,” said Calliande. “How could I be, for taking the opportunity when I could not?” She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against her knees for a moment, and then took a deep breath and looked Caius in the eye. “I hope she brings him joy, maybe even convinces him to leave some of his guilt behind. I hope he is a good influence upon her, because God knows that she is entirely too much in love with power. And I hope she does not lead him down a dark path, because he is in more pain than he understands.”
They sat in silence for a moment.
“You are wiser than you know, my lady Magistria,” said Caius at last.
“No, I’m not,” said Calliande. “A wiser woman would not find herself in this dilemma in the first place.”
“I am an old man,” said Caius, “and I have learned that we cannot control our hearts. Not even the khaldari, the dwarves, who prize becoming as cold and hard and unyielding as stone. We can only govern our actions.”
“Simple to say,” said Calliande, “but harder to do.”
“The best advice always is.”
That made Calliande laugh. “Fine words from a preacher.”
“It does make delivering a sermon easier,” said Caius. He peered into the deepening gloom.
“What is it?” said Calliande, getting to her feet. Caius could see better in the dark than she could.
“Ridmark and Morigna return,” said Caius. “I think Ridmark has been wounded.”
They came into sight. Morigna had her bow and tattered cloak. Ridmark matched her pace, but he was leaning more heavily upon his staff than was his wont, and the right side of his chest was shiny with blood.
Calliande stifled a curse and hurried into the tower. The others got to their feet, reaching for their weapons, and Ridmark walked through the stone arch, Morigna trailing after him.
“What happened?” rumbled Kharlacht, his greatsword in his hands.
“Urvaalgs,” said Ridmark. He looked almost haunted. “Two of them. Took us off
“Whatever happened to you,” said Calliande. “Whatever tragedy that made you leave the Three Kingdoms and join the church…if you forgot it, would you have still accepted baptism and a new name? Would you still be the man you are today?”
“I suppose not,” said Caius. “I suspect I would have remained at Khald Tormen.”
“You would be a different man,” said Calliande. “I don’t know who I really am. You say I am valiant and kind, but I can only remember the last eighty days or so. Suppose we succeed and I recover my memories. I will become again the woman that I was. How might that change me?”
“Surely not for the worse,” said Caius.
“Do you think so?” said Calliande. “I was willing to seal myself away below the Tower of Vigilance for centuries. I had to know that everyone I ever knew or loved would be dead by the time I awoke. Any friends. Any brothers or sisters.” The brief memory of her father, the one thing she recalled from her past life, flashed before her eyes. “Even a husband and children, if they did not go into the long sleep with me. Everyone I ever knew. I was willing to outlive them and awake into a world of strangers, all to stop the Frostborn.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “What kind of woman does such a thing to herself?”
“A brave one,” said Caius.
“Bravery and folly are not mutually exclusive,” said Calliande. “Nor are they separate from pride. Perhaps I was a proud fool, and am now paying the price for it.”
“You do not know that for certain,” said Caius, “so it is foolish to castigate yourself for something that you may not have even done.”
“I know,” said Calliande, taking a deep breath. “I know this, too. Let us say that I followed the desires of my heart and body and seduced Ridmark. Then I recovered my memories, and they changed me into another woman entirely. Would that be fair to him? Or to me?”
“Likely not,” said Caius.
“So, you see, I am not angry with Morigna,” said Calliande. “How could I be, for taking the opportunity when I could not?” She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against her knees for a moment, and then took a deep breath and looked Caius in the eye. “I hope she brings him joy, maybe even convinces him to leave some of his guilt behind. I hope he is a good influence upon her, because God knows that she is entirely too much in love with power. And I hope she does not lead him down a dark path, because he is in more pain than he understands.”
They sat in silence for a moment.
“You are wiser than you know, my lady Magistria,” said Caius at last.
“No, I’m not,” said Calliande. “A wiser woman would not find herself in this dilemma in the first place.”
“I am an old man,” said Caius, “and I have learned that we cannot control our hearts. Not even the khaldari, the dwarves, who prize becoming as cold and hard and unyielding as stone. We can only govern our actions.”
“Simple to say,” said Calliande, “but harder to do.”
“The best advice always is.”
That made Calliande laugh. “Fine words from a preacher.”
“It does make delivering a sermon easier,” said Caius. He peered into the deepening gloom.
“What is it?” said Calliande, getting to her feet. Caius could see better in the dark than she could.
“Ridmark and Morigna return,” said Caius. “I think Ridmark has been wounded.”
They came into sight. Morigna had her bow and tattered cloak. Ridmark matched her pace, but he was leaning more heavily upon his staff than was his wont, and the right side of his chest was shiny with blood.
Calliande stifled a curse and hurried into the tower. The others got to their feet, reaching for their weapons, and Ridmark walked through the stone arch, Morigna trailing after him.
“What happened?” rumbled Kharlacht, his greatsword in his hands.
“Urvaalgs,” said Ridmark. He looked almost haunted. “Two of them. Took us off
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