a few drinks Steve suggested we get back, and hook up with them all again the next day. I was a little surprised he wanted to leave early, but I was tired and happy to go back. I thought he might want to spend some time talking about what was happening with Saul in private.
At Steve’s house there was no TV in the lounge, only in his room, so when he suggested taking a cup of tea upstairs to watch a film, I didn’t feel suspicious. We sat and watched a movie, and then I felt myself begin to wilt with fatigue as the credits began to roll. I was looking forward to curling up in Saul’s old bed.
“I’m off to bed now Steve, thanks for a really great evening!” I said, moving to stand up.
But it seemed Steve had other ideas! He put his hand on my thigh,
“You know what Floss, why don’t you just sleep here?” He gestured to his own bed, “Seems pointless for us both to sleep alone when we can cuddle up together, don’t you think?”
I was dumbstruck. How could he think even for a second that I would want to lay in anyone’s bed but Saul’s?
“What? Are you serious or is this some sort of bizarre joke? Do you really think that I would sleep with anyone, least of all you, who calls yourself Saul’s best friend?”
I fled from his room feeling violated by his suggestions. I lay in Saul’s bed hoping that he wouldn’t try to come in. I had been excited about this evening, about seeing my friends, and sleeping in Saul’s bed. I had been touched by what I thought was Steve reaching out to be my friend; I had not bargained on this act of iniquity from him, and shuddered at the thought of his lewd suggestion.
Eventually I drifted off to sleep and spent the night undisturbed. The following morning, I woke with a start as I heard the door of Saul’s room open. It was 7am. Steve walked in with a cup of tea. Was he going to apologize? I pulled the covers up to my chin and watched him approach the bed, hoping that he wasn’t going to try to make another pass at me.
“I’m going to take Bob for a walk,” he said coldly. He put the tea down next to the bed.
“When I get back, I will expect you to be gone.” He turned without waiting for a response and left the room.
If he had slapped me, he could not have hurt or stunned me more.
I didn’t hear from Steve again. I felt betrayed and sullied. How could he do that to Saul? Was he trying to entice me into bed so that he could tell Saul I was no good? Did he hate me that much? It was the worst thing he could have done both to me and to Saul. I was so ashamed by my own stupidity for allowing myself to be fooled by him, that I didn’t tell anyone. What he did was unbelievably cruel and I would never forgive him.
Adam called again just one week before we were due to leave. Saul’s brother Daniel was going out to help. I had never met him. He lived in America, and probably didn’t even know I existed. Adam assured us they would be in Bangkok. Daniel was persuasive, he said, and could speed things along and get him out. It would be fine, he said, go to Bangkok and wait for them and we would all be laughing about it and telling stories with relief of how real life was not like Midnight Express at all!
Chapter Seven
I needed to go and visit my parents, but although I longed to feel the comforts of home, I was dreading having to pretend that everything was hunky-dory. My parents had given me a very loving but old-fashioned childhood, taking me to church on Sundays, and doing their best to instill their strong Catholic beliefs into both my older brother and me. I had rebelled against this somewhat stifling arrangement, by being attracted to the wrong type of friends and boyfriends alike, trying subconsciously to be independent by defying my parents.
I think, looking back, that my rebellion against their style of parenting began when I was seventeen. For many years prior to this, I hadn’t wanted to continue attending Sunday mass, never really
At Steve’s house there was no TV in the lounge, only in his room, so when he suggested taking a cup of tea upstairs to watch a film, I didn’t feel suspicious. We sat and watched a movie, and then I felt myself begin to wilt with fatigue as the credits began to roll. I was looking forward to curling up in Saul’s old bed.
“I’m off to bed now Steve, thanks for a really great evening!” I said, moving to stand up.
But it seemed Steve had other ideas! He put his hand on my thigh,
“You know what Floss, why don’t you just sleep here?” He gestured to his own bed, “Seems pointless for us both to sleep alone when we can cuddle up together, don’t you think?”
I was dumbstruck. How could he think even for a second that I would want to lay in anyone’s bed but Saul’s?
“What? Are you serious or is this some sort of bizarre joke? Do you really think that I would sleep with anyone, least of all you, who calls yourself Saul’s best friend?”
I fled from his room feeling violated by his suggestions. I lay in Saul’s bed hoping that he wouldn’t try to come in. I had been excited about this evening, about seeing my friends, and sleeping in Saul’s bed. I had been touched by what I thought was Steve reaching out to be my friend; I had not bargained on this act of iniquity from him, and shuddered at the thought of his lewd suggestion.
Eventually I drifted off to sleep and spent the night undisturbed. The following morning, I woke with a start as I heard the door of Saul’s room open. It was 7am. Steve walked in with a cup of tea. Was he going to apologize? I pulled the covers up to my chin and watched him approach the bed, hoping that he wasn’t going to try to make another pass at me.
“I’m going to take Bob for a walk,” he said coldly. He put the tea down next to the bed.
“When I get back, I will expect you to be gone.” He turned without waiting for a response and left the room.
If he had slapped me, he could not have hurt or stunned me more.
I didn’t hear from Steve again. I felt betrayed and sullied. How could he do that to Saul? Was he trying to entice me into bed so that he could tell Saul I was no good? Did he hate me that much? It was the worst thing he could have done both to me and to Saul. I was so ashamed by my own stupidity for allowing myself to be fooled by him, that I didn’t tell anyone. What he did was unbelievably cruel and I would never forgive him.
Adam called again just one week before we were due to leave. Saul’s brother Daniel was going out to help. I had never met him. He lived in America, and probably didn’t even know I existed. Adam assured us they would be in Bangkok. Daniel was persuasive, he said, and could speed things along and get him out. It would be fine, he said, go to Bangkok and wait for them and we would all be laughing about it and telling stories with relief of how real life was not like Midnight Express at all!
Chapter Seven
I needed to go and visit my parents, but although I longed to feel the comforts of home, I was dreading having to pretend that everything was hunky-dory. My parents had given me a very loving but old-fashioned childhood, taking me to church on Sundays, and doing their best to instill their strong Catholic beliefs into both my older brother and me. I had rebelled against this somewhat stifling arrangement, by being attracted to the wrong type of friends and boyfriends alike, trying subconsciously to be independent by defying my parents.
I think, looking back, that my rebellion against their style of parenting began when I was seventeen. For many years prior to this, I hadn’t wanted to continue attending Sunday mass, never really
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