said William casually Mr Moss shook his head.
‘Go on!’ said William. ‘I get my money tomorrow. You know I get my money tomorrow.’
‘Cash, young sir,’ said Mr Moss heavily. ‘My terms is cash. ’Owever,’ he relented, ‘I’ll give you a few over when the scales is down tomorrow for a New
Year’s gift.’
‘Honest Injun?’
‘Honest Injun.’
‘Well, gimme them now then,’ said William.
Mr Moss hesitated.
‘They wouldn’t be no New Year’s gift then, would they?’ he said.
William considered.
‘I’ll eat ’em today but I’ll think about ’em tomorrow,’ he promised. ‘That’ll make ’em a New Year’s gift.’
Mr Moss took out a handful of assorted fruit drops and passed them to William. William received them gratefully.
‘An’ what good resolution are you going to take tomorrow?’ went on Mr Moss.
William crunched in silence for a minute, then,
‘Good resolution?’ he questioned. ‘I ain’t got none.’
‘You’ve got to have a good resolution for New Year’s Day’ said Mr Moss firmly.
‘Same as giving up sugar in tea in Lent and wearing blue on Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race Day?’ said William with interest.
‘Yes, same as that. Well, you’ve got to think of some fault you’d like to cure and start tomorrow.’
William pondered.
‘Can’t think of anything,’ he said at last. ‘You think of something for me.’
‘You might take one to do your schoolwork properly,’ he suggested.
William shook his head.
‘No,’ he said, ‘that wun’t be much fun, would it? Crumbs! It wun’t !’
‘Or – to keep your clothes tidy?’ went on his friend.
William shuddered at the thought.
‘Or to – give up shouting and whistling.’
William crammed two more sweets into his mouth and shook his head very firmly.
‘Crumbs, no!’ he ejaculated indistinctly.
‘Or to be perlite.’
‘Perlite?’
‘Yes. “Please” and “thank you”, and “if you don’t mind me sayin’ so”, and “if you excuse me contradictin’ of you”, and
“can I do anything for you?” and such like.’
William was struck with this.
‘Yes, I might be that,’ he said. He straightened his collar and stood up. ‘Yes, I might try bein’ that. How long has it to go on, though?’
‘Not long,’ said Mr Moss. ‘Only the first day gen’rally Folks gen’rally give ’em up after that.’
‘What’s yours?’ said William, putting four sweets into his mouth as he spoke.
Mr Moss looked round his little shop with the air of a conspirator, then leant forward confidentially.
‘I’m goin’ to arsk ’er again,’ he said.
‘Who?’ said William mystified.
‘Someone I’ve arsked reg’lar every New Year’s Day for ten year.’
‘Asked what?’ said William, gazing sadly at his last sweet.
‘Arsked to take me, o’ course,’ said Mr Moss with an air of contempt for William’s want of intelligence.
‘Take you where?’ said William. ‘Where d’you want to go? Why can’t you go yourself?’
‘Ter marry me, I means,’ said Mr Moss, blushing slightly as he spoke.
‘Well,’ said William with a judicial air, ‘I wun’t have asked the same one for ten years. I’d have tried someone else. I’d have gone on asking other people,
if I wanted to get married. You’d be sure to find someone that wouldn’t mind you – with a sweet shop, too. She must be a softie. Does she know you’ve got a sweet
shop?’
Mr Moss merely sighed and popped a bull’s eye into his mouth with an air of abstracted melancholy.
The next morning William leapt out of bed with an expression of stern resolve. ‘I’m goin’ to be p’lite,’ he remarked to his bedroom furniture.
‘I’m goin’ to be p’lite all day.’
He met his father on the stairs as he went down to breakfast.
‘Good mornin’, Father,’ he said, with what he fondly imagined to be a courtly manner. ‘Can I do anything for you today?’
His father looked down at him suspiciously.
‘What do you
‘Go on!’ said William. ‘I get my money tomorrow. You know I get my money tomorrow.’
‘Cash, young sir,’ said Mr Moss heavily. ‘My terms is cash. ’Owever,’ he relented, ‘I’ll give you a few over when the scales is down tomorrow for a New
Year’s gift.’
‘Honest Injun?’
‘Honest Injun.’
‘Well, gimme them now then,’ said William.
Mr Moss hesitated.
‘They wouldn’t be no New Year’s gift then, would they?’ he said.
William considered.
‘I’ll eat ’em today but I’ll think about ’em tomorrow,’ he promised. ‘That’ll make ’em a New Year’s gift.’
Mr Moss took out a handful of assorted fruit drops and passed them to William. William received them gratefully.
‘An’ what good resolution are you going to take tomorrow?’ went on Mr Moss.
William crunched in silence for a minute, then,
‘Good resolution?’ he questioned. ‘I ain’t got none.’
‘You’ve got to have a good resolution for New Year’s Day’ said Mr Moss firmly.
‘Same as giving up sugar in tea in Lent and wearing blue on Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race Day?’ said William with interest.
‘Yes, same as that. Well, you’ve got to think of some fault you’d like to cure and start tomorrow.’
William pondered.
‘Can’t think of anything,’ he said at last. ‘You think of something for me.’
‘You might take one to do your schoolwork properly,’ he suggested.
William shook his head.
‘No,’ he said, ‘that wun’t be much fun, would it? Crumbs! It wun’t !’
‘Or – to keep your clothes tidy?’ went on his friend.
William shuddered at the thought.
‘Or to – give up shouting and whistling.’
William crammed two more sweets into his mouth and shook his head very firmly.
‘Crumbs, no!’ he ejaculated indistinctly.
‘Or to be perlite.’
‘Perlite?’
‘Yes. “Please” and “thank you”, and “if you don’t mind me sayin’ so”, and “if you excuse me contradictin’ of you”, and
“can I do anything for you?” and such like.’
William was struck with this.
‘Yes, I might be that,’ he said. He straightened his collar and stood up. ‘Yes, I might try bein’ that. How long has it to go on, though?’
‘Not long,’ said Mr Moss. ‘Only the first day gen’rally Folks gen’rally give ’em up after that.’
‘What’s yours?’ said William, putting four sweets into his mouth as he spoke.
Mr Moss looked round his little shop with the air of a conspirator, then leant forward confidentially.
‘I’m goin’ to arsk ’er again,’ he said.
‘Who?’ said William mystified.
‘Someone I’ve arsked reg’lar every New Year’s Day for ten year.’
‘Asked what?’ said William, gazing sadly at his last sweet.
‘Arsked to take me, o’ course,’ said Mr Moss with an air of contempt for William’s want of intelligence.
‘Take you where?’ said William. ‘Where d’you want to go? Why can’t you go yourself?’
‘Ter marry me, I means,’ said Mr Moss, blushing slightly as he spoke.
‘Well,’ said William with a judicial air, ‘I wun’t have asked the same one for ten years. I’d have tried someone else. I’d have gone on asking other people,
if I wanted to get married. You’d be sure to find someone that wouldn’t mind you – with a sweet shop, too. She must be a softie. Does she know you’ve got a sweet
shop?’
Mr Moss merely sighed and popped a bull’s eye into his mouth with an air of abstracted melancholy.
The next morning William leapt out of bed with an expression of stern resolve. ‘I’m goin’ to be p’lite,’ he remarked to his bedroom furniture.
‘I’m goin’ to be p’lite all day.’
He met his father on the stairs as he went down to breakfast.
‘Good mornin’, Father,’ he said, with what he fondly imagined to be a courtly manner. ‘Can I do anything for you today?’
His father looked down at him suspiciously.
‘What do you
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