Katy Kelly_Lucy Rose 01 by Lucy Rose: Here's the Thing About Me

single person a card?” I asked him.
    “Your other choice is to give nobody a card,” he said. “But I don't think that is much of a solution, do you?”
    So now I have to find a card for Melonhead.

February 13
    Pop has sympathy for the valentine problem so he took me to Grubb's where I tried to find one box with 22 good cards and one bad card. But it turned out they don't come that way and even the good cards were P-U. So we bought a pocket box of conversation heart candies and some Elmer's glue and Eddie gave us some doilies that he has in theback room where he keeps the Evening in Paris dusting powder and other things that take up valuable shelf space and nobody wants to buy.
    When we got back to Madam and Pop's house I dumped all the candy hearts on the kitchen table. I saved HOT STUFF for Madam and COOL DUDE for Pop and LUV YOU for my dad and PRETTY LADY for my mom. Then I started making little piles. I put U R A QT and SWEET GIRL and FOR KEEPS in Jonique's pile. I gave Pierra one that said IN STYLE because she is. I saved COOL GUY for Sam and AWESOME for Emily Kate and DREAMY for Robinson, GAL PAL for Kathleen and ROCK STAR for John Gallagher who is our new lunch aide and can play the guitar. After I got done with everybody except Melon-head I looked at what I had left which was bad news for me. I ate TRUE LOVE just to be sure I didn't accidentally glue it to his doily. Also MARRY ME which was even worse. What was left after that was U R KIND, TRÈS CHIC, CALL ME, and ROMEO. Pop ate CALL ME because he said, “I certainly don't want Melonhead tying up our phone line.”
    And then he ate TRÈS CHIC which is a French way to say fashionable which Madam said wasn't really appropriate for a boy but I was considering anyway. Then Pop went off to feed Gumbo and I got the greatest idea in my life which was to lick, carefully, all the letters off of ROMEO which worked great and turned it into a plain purple heart. Then I glued the hearts onto the doilies and wrote “From Lucy Rose” with a glitter pen on the bottom and put them in the envelopes that Madam uses to pay her bills and then I put them in the extremely très chic pink and red covered shoe box my mom made for me. At dinner I told how I solved my number one valentine problem and Madam said she was surprised at me but it didn't sound like in a good way.
    I went to bed on time but I could not sleep from feeling bad which made me surprised and I got up and took out Melonhead's card and opened it up and picked off the spit heart and pasted on U R KIND which was more than I wanted to say but was all I had left and put it back in the box for the morning.

February 14
    After I gave my card to Melonhead he gave me a card back. It said YOU ARE A FART.

February 16
    This is the question I e-mailed to Madam today: “Dear Lucy Rose, Do you know a good way to get even with somebody? Signed, One Steaming Mad Person.”

February 17
    The answer came. It said: “Dear Steaming Mad, I know lots of ways to get even but it's better to get over it. Try.” I say P-U on that advice.

February 19
    I got up at 6:00 this morning because of excitement over my dad coming for Presidents' Dayweekend even though his airplane was not landing until 10:30. So I sat on the front porch with my suitcase that could hardly close because I had so many things inside of it, and waited. After a while my mom brought me cinnamon toast and sat with me until he came in a taxi and picked me up. When we got to the hotel he gave me a tiny box that is shaped like a heart and has four pieces of chocolate that is from him and pink nail polish from Glamma, who is one for wearing polish. Also makeup and stick-on eyelashes and sometimes fake nails. I am not allowed to wear fake nails but when I go to her house she lets me try on her lipstick and she paints my real nails any color I pick which is a hard job because Glamma has more than thirty bottles. My best ones are Cocoa-Cabana and Moonlight Delight and Coral