Kentucky Groom by Jan Scarbrough

what’s wrong,” Jay directed, suddenly sobering.
    Her gaze returned to his. He saw her draw herself up, gathering courage.
    “I’m afraid I may be leading you on,” she spoke softly.
    Jay placed his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, looking at the ground. “How’s that?”
    “You told me you thought you were falling in love.”
    “I did and I am. I thought we agreed you wanted to be open to the possibility of falling in love with me too.”
    Carrie shifted in the chair. “I do, but I can’t.”
    “That doesn’t make a lot of sense,” he said gently.
    She took a breath. “I care for you. You do something to me. I feel like a kid when I’m near you. A kid on her first date.”
    “That’s the way I feel.”
    “But I can’t let it happen,” Carrie explained. “I have Jesse.”
    Jay sat back and studied her. He waited, his mouth set in a thin line.
    Carrie’s eyes flickered. She took another deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is I just don’t have myself to think about. As much as I would love to be swept away, to be in love, I must consider Jesse’s welfare over what I want.”
    “And Jesse’s welfare does not include you having a relationship with me,” Jay finished for her.
    “I’m afraid not.” She avoided his eyes.
    Jay ran a hand through his hair. This was too ironic to be funny. He suspected the reason behind her hesitation, but he wanted to hear it from her lips. “You didn’t mean it when you said you wanted to be open to a relationship?”
    “I did, don’t you see?” Carrie sat forward now. Her hands trembled. “My heart was getting in the way of my head.”
    “Is that so bad?”
    “It is when you have a child to raise.”
    “What is your head telling you?”
    “It says that as much as I care about you, Jay, it’s not fair for me to lead you on when nothing can come of it,” Carrie said in one breath, quickly, as if she had to get the words out fast.
    “And why is that?”
    “I can barely take care of myself and my daughter. I can’t afford to become involved with someone, well, someone who makes a groom’s salary.”
    Jay wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Too much money had been the bane of his former life. Now the lack of it was messing up this one. He felt as if he’d eaten too much spicy pizza and had drunk too much stale beer.
    “I see.” That’s all he could say.
    “I don’t want to lie to you or hurt you, Jay.” She appeared flustered now. “I just thought I should get it out in the open before things go too far.”
    “I understand.”
    “Jay, don’t look like that. I’m sorry.” She captured his hands in hers as if trying to make amends. They were cold, like the words she had just spoken.
    But he wasn’t ready to give up. “I won’t always be a groom,” he told her and leveled his unyielding gaze into her wary eyes. “I have other resources that I didn’t want to use for many reasons, but believe me, you’re giving me every incentive to rethink my priorities.”
    “I know. It’s just that. . .” She didn’t complete her sentence.
    Once again, he finished for her. “You’re afraid to take a chance. You don’t want your heart to lead.”
    Her eyes grew moist, and she swallowed hard as if to fight back her emotion. “It’s just that over ten years ago I let my heart influence me. It led to a big mistake. Jesse is the result.”
    Jay started to understand and gave her a sympathetic smile. “I bet it was the best mistake you ever made.”
    She nodded silently. “Jesse.”
    “Trust me. You won’t make a mistake by loving me,” Jay said with quiet conviction.
    She squeezed his hands and looked back at him with wide eyes. “I’m trying to keep from hurting you.”
    It finally sank in. She was ending their brief flirtation. Withdrawing his hands, he stood up. “Well, it’s not working.”
    God, why did he sound so petulant? Retreating to where Jesse’s saddle sat on its pommel in the dirt, he began wiping lather from