Kill Marguerite and Other Stories by Megan Milks Page A

stage, holding up his hands at the applause. Mike followed and stood at his side, half a head taller. By sheer accident (i.e., Mike was copying him again) they were both wearing white buttondowns, neckties, and vests. It looked good, kind of professional.
    â€œOkay,” Jason said, grabbing the first mic. “We’re doing things a little differently this evening. I know some of you are already familiar with my act as Mr. Insensitive, so tonight I’m going to bring out my friend—” He motioned to Mike, who stepped forward and grabbed the second mic. “...who’s also grossly insensitive, to help me talk about my dysfunctional relationship. Here we go!”
    Mike held out a hand to the audience as if to hush them. “We’re going to do an improv scene for you tonight.”
    Jason was rolling his shoulders, getting into character.
    â€œSo the first thing—” Mike went on, “the first thing you need to know is that this is a scene between Jason and his girlfriend. I’m going to play the role of Jason.”
    Jason walked around the stage behind Mike, shaking himself out with a few slick boxing moves. He stepped up. “I, meanwhile, will be playing the role of a four-foot-tall Korean dumpling.” Pause for laughter. “Steamed.”
    They laughed again. Easy audience. Mike was getting hunch-shouldered and—sweet Jesus—somehow making himself look twenty pounds skinnier.
    Jason turned to Mike. “Ready to rumble?”
    â€œReady,” Mike said. Then he stepped forward, doing Jason for the first time.
    â€œThe first thing that will happen,” said Mike-as-Jason, making nervous gimpy hand gestures (fuck you, Mike), “is I’m going to say: We need to talk.”
    â€œThen I’m going to give you a sympathetic look,” said Jason playing Ju-Rin. “And say ‘okay!’” he used a high voice and cute head tilt and got a few titters. “Oh wait.” He ducked his head to the side and pulled out a barrette to push his hair back. The audience loved this.
    â€œI’m going to be surprised—I thought you wouldn’t want to talk about your bulimia.”
    Jason-as-Ju-Rin abruptly changed his demeanor. He glowered and, using a deep, croaky voice like the possessed girl in The Exorcist , said, “What are you talking about?” The breathy creepiness of his voice had people in the audience screeching.
    Mike started to speak, but whatever he said couldn’t be heard over Jason’s demon voice. Jason-as-Ju-Rin intoned, “Do not name The Issue Which We Do Not Name, ever. Ever.” Jason waited for Mike to open his mouth to interrupt him again. “Ever.”
    Mike-as-Jason asked, “How am I going to talk about it without talking about it?”
    Again with the Exorcist voice: “If you were Korean, you’d know.”
    â€œSo I’m going to apologize—for, it seems—not being Korean.”
    â€œI’m highly sympathetic. Not everyone can be Korean.” Jason-as-Ju-Rin smirked.
    Mike gave him a look. “I’m going to mistake that smirk for a sexy look,” Mike-as-Jason said.
    â€œI’m going to indicate it’s a theoretical possibility that I could have sex with you—but only if— ” Jason-as-Ju-Rin said, producing a slip of paper in his hand with a magician’s flourish, “ someone immediately runs to the drug store and gets the items on this very important list.”
    â€œI am immediately going to run this very important errand so that we can have the sex we aren’t going to ever have—when I notice that laxatives are first on the list.”
    â€œI am going to rejoice in the fact that you are so stupid! This will give me a cheery bunny look.” Jason doing Ju-Rin’s cheery bunny look got a laugh.
    â€œI am unable to handle confronting you when you’re wearing the cheery bunny look.”
    â€œI