too. But we still hadn’t discovered everything. There was so much more that we had to learn. We’d barely begun to explore all the things we meant to each other, all the little things that made us who we were.
“And now …?” Her lips clenched into a grimace of tightly controlled pain and sadness. “… We never will. I—” Tears began to well in her eyes, but they didn’t fall yet. She paused to collect herself.
“I’m sorry,” she said. She felt the hot tears slowly begin to drip down her cheeks and wished she hadn’t given all her tissues away. “Does someone have a tissue I could have?”
The people in the front row, her father and Donna and Ricky’s grandparents and, on the other side of the aisle, The Untouchables glanced at one another and shifted uncomfortably in their seats. For a moment, she thought no one was going to help her. One of the tears had reached the flare of her nostril. It tickled. She admonished herself, Don’t wipe it away. Don’t use the back of your arm, and waited for some kindness to come her way.
Finally Ricky’s grandfather rose from his seat. He had the wide-legged, arthritic gait of an ex-football player. From his lapel pocket, he pulled a monogrammed handkerchief and passed it across the podium to her.
She dabbed at her cheeks with a dainty hand, being careful not to smudge the makeup. Then, bravely returning to her speech, she said, “The night Ricky … The night this horrible tragedy took place, Ricky and I had been out celebrating the Raccoons’ win over the Prairie Dogs. He’d been so happy. He was a true team player. He didn’t want the glory all for himself. He wanted to do what was best for his teammates. He wanted everyone to win. That’s what was most important to him. To be part of the group.”
Glancing up, she noticed that Digger, Jeremy, and Troy’s arms had tightened around one another’s shoulders. Their foreheads were pressed hard together, and from the quiver in their bodies, Britney suspected that they were silently sobbing.
“But there was something else about him that night. There was something in the way he smiled at me. He seemed almost bashful. And if you know Ricky, you know he was never bashful.”
Mournful, knowing chuckles rose from the crowd.
“Well, here’s why.”
She reached into the hidden hip pocket of her dress and pulled out a small shimmering object.
“That night, before he dropped me off at home, he gave me this.”
She held up the object, a ring, small, unassuming but a ring nonetheless, made of silver and, mounted on it, a diamond.
“He asked me to marry him, to share my life with him. I hadn’t said yes yet. I wanted to spend the weekend thinking about it, but …” Looking up toward the stone rafters of the church ceiling, Britney said quietly, in a whisper just loud enough for the mike to pick it up, “Yes, Ricky. Yes. I do want to marry you. It’s too late now, but my answer would have been yes.”
Then she bowed her head and wiped her eyes with the handkerchief Ricky’s grandfather had given her.
The air in the church was tense. Everyone was silent, gazing up at her, and she could feel how profoundly deep their sympathy ran. Britney wasn’t sure if she should say thank you or what. Her speech was over, but the love that was pressing toward her from the crowd was so great that she didn’t want to leave the spotlight.
Donna was supposed to speak next. Britney wasn’t looking forward to it. She could already imagine how her speech would go. She’d be surprised if the woman got more than a few words out before she broke down in hysterics. She’d bellow, “Ricky … Ricky,” maybe say, “My beautiful boy,” or, “My only son,” or, “Oh God, how could you take him away from me?” Whatever she did, the whole congregation would feel twitchy and be afraid to look at her. No matter how much comfort they threw her way, it wouldn’t possibly be enough.
With slow grace and dignity, Britney
“And now …?” Her lips clenched into a grimace of tightly controlled pain and sadness. “… We never will. I—” Tears began to well in her eyes, but they didn’t fall yet. She paused to collect herself.
“I’m sorry,” she said. She felt the hot tears slowly begin to drip down her cheeks and wished she hadn’t given all her tissues away. “Does someone have a tissue I could have?”
The people in the front row, her father and Donna and Ricky’s grandparents and, on the other side of the aisle, The Untouchables glanced at one another and shifted uncomfortably in their seats. For a moment, she thought no one was going to help her. One of the tears had reached the flare of her nostril. It tickled. She admonished herself, Don’t wipe it away. Don’t use the back of your arm, and waited for some kindness to come her way.
Finally Ricky’s grandfather rose from his seat. He had the wide-legged, arthritic gait of an ex-football player. From his lapel pocket, he pulled a monogrammed handkerchief and passed it across the podium to her.
She dabbed at her cheeks with a dainty hand, being careful not to smudge the makeup. Then, bravely returning to her speech, she said, “The night Ricky … The night this horrible tragedy took place, Ricky and I had been out celebrating the Raccoons’ win over the Prairie Dogs. He’d been so happy. He was a true team player. He didn’t want the glory all for himself. He wanted to do what was best for his teammates. He wanted everyone to win. That’s what was most important to him. To be part of the group.”
Glancing up, she noticed that Digger, Jeremy, and Troy’s arms had tightened around one another’s shoulders. Their foreheads were pressed hard together, and from the quiver in their bodies, Britney suspected that they were silently sobbing.
“But there was something else about him that night. There was something in the way he smiled at me. He seemed almost bashful. And if you know Ricky, you know he was never bashful.”
Mournful, knowing chuckles rose from the crowd.
“Well, here’s why.”
She reached into the hidden hip pocket of her dress and pulled out a small shimmering object.
“That night, before he dropped me off at home, he gave me this.”
She held up the object, a ring, small, unassuming but a ring nonetheless, made of silver and, mounted on it, a diamond.
“He asked me to marry him, to share my life with him. I hadn’t said yes yet. I wanted to spend the weekend thinking about it, but …” Looking up toward the stone rafters of the church ceiling, Britney said quietly, in a whisper just loud enough for the mike to pick it up, “Yes, Ricky. Yes. I do want to marry you. It’s too late now, but my answer would have been yes.”
Then she bowed her head and wiped her eyes with the handkerchief Ricky’s grandfather had given her.
The air in the church was tense. Everyone was silent, gazing up at her, and she could feel how profoundly deep their sympathy ran. Britney wasn’t sure if she should say thank you or what. Her speech was over, but the love that was pressing toward her from the crowd was so great that she didn’t want to leave the spotlight.
Donna was supposed to speak next. Britney wasn’t looking forward to it. She could already imagine how her speech would go. She’d be surprised if the woman got more than a few words out before she broke down in hysterics. She’d bellow, “Ricky … Ricky,” maybe say, “My beautiful boy,” or, “My only son,” or, “Oh God, how could you take him away from me?” Whatever she did, the whole congregation would feel twitchy and be afraid to look at her. No matter how much comfort they threw her way, it wouldn’t possibly be enough.
With slow grace and dignity, Britney
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