you’re right,” Eve said, dismissing his apology. “I was out of line.” She swallowed the last piece of her share of the pizza and stood. “I think I’m finally going to hit the sack now.”
“I hope it’s not on account of what I said.”
“It’s not,” Eve reassured.
She was lying, of course. She bid Lucas good night and kept thinking about what he had just said all through her routine of getting ready for bed, and she kept on thinking about it even once she was finally under the covers and had turned off the light.
In the dim light cast by the city lights outside, Eve stared up at the white ceiling in her bedroom and thought about everything she had heard tonight. More than all that she had been told, her mind kept coming back to Lucas’ final question: “Why are you even with Lind?”
Eve used to think she knew the answer to that question. Now, the more she thought about it, the less she could come up with any reason at all. Could she have made a terrible error in judgment? Could she have been kidding herself when she believed they could make things work between them, even if they came from such different worlds and backgrounds? Could she have wasted five months of her life?
Restless, she reached for the cell phone on her nightstand and tapped on the display, making it come to life. There were no notifications. She opened all texting and calling apps just in case, but none had anything new to show her. Lind had not called. He had not texted. He had not reached out at all. In fact, Lind had spent the past few weeks withdrawing more and more into himself and pulling as far away from Eve as he possibly could. At least, that’s how she felt, and he sure as hell had done nothing to prove her wrong yet.
She put the phone down and tried unsuccessfully to go to sleep. Her mind was buzzing with thoughts, her body running on pure adrenaline. Funny, the power that words had. She didn’t remember being this agitated even while she was being held captive—either time.
She groaned as the memories entered her mind. She had been kidnapped twice in the span of a few months. That must have been some kind of world record. Could she really live like that? Was this really what she had signed up for?
“It was because I didn’t have anyone else.”
More of Lucas’ words came back to her, demanding her attention.
“You asked me why I joined the Diamondbacks. It was because I didn’t have anyone else.”
As far as Eve knew, Lind didn’t have anyone else either. Was that why he had joined too? Was he looking for that sense of shelter that Lucas had hinted at? That must have been the case. Lind had been looking for shelter and protection. He had been looking for closeness, for belonging. He had been looking for brotherhood. And he had found it all with the Diamondbacks.
It was then that Eve realized that she didn’t stand a chance. How could she even begin to compare with the people who had given Lind the home he had never had? There was simply no contest, and Eve suddenly felt like the biggest idiot for ever thinking that there might be.
She took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions. She tried to put herself in Lind’s shoes, to imagine what he must have felt when he made his choice for such a drastic lifestyle, but there was just no way that she could even begin to understand. It was just too different from what she knew.
For the next couple of hours, Eve lay in bed and tried to decide whether she could get past everything that she had learned. Could she cope with the knowledge that she would always come second to the man she loved? Could she accept his past? Could she get over the fact that he could be as ruthless as the rumors about the Viper said?
She wasn’t sure she could. If anyone had asked her the very same questions a few weeks ago, Eve would have said yes to all in a heartbeat. But back then she had only had a vague sense of
“I hope it’s not on account of what I said.”
“It’s not,” Eve reassured.
She was lying, of course. She bid Lucas good night and kept thinking about what he had just said all through her routine of getting ready for bed, and she kept on thinking about it even once she was finally under the covers and had turned off the light.
In the dim light cast by the city lights outside, Eve stared up at the white ceiling in her bedroom and thought about everything she had heard tonight. More than all that she had been told, her mind kept coming back to Lucas’ final question: “Why are you even with Lind?”
Eve used to think she knew the answer to that question. Now, the more she thought about it, the less she could come up with any reason at all. Could she have made a terrible error in judgment? Could she have been kidding herself when she believed they could make things work between them, even if they came from such different worlds and backgrounds? Could she have wasted five months of her life?
Restless, she reached for the cell phone on her nightstand and tapped on the display, making it come to life. There were no notifications. She opened all texting and calling apps just in case, but none had anything new to show her. Lind had not called. He had not texted. He had not reached out at all. In fact, Lind had spent the past few weeks withdrawing more and more into himself and pulling as far away from Eve as he possibly could. At least, that’s how she felt, and he sure as hell had done nothing to prove her wrong yet.
She put the phone down and tried unsuccessfully to go to sleep. Her mind was buzzing with thoughts, her body running on pure adrenaline. Funny, the power that words had. She didn’t remember being this agitated even while she was being held captive—either time.
She groaned as the memories entered her mind. She had been kidnapped twice in the span of a few months. That must have been some kind of world record. Could she really live like that? Was this really what she had signed up for?
“It was because I didn’t have anyone else.”
More of Lucas’ words came back to her, demanding her attention.
“You asked me why I joined the Diamondbacks. It was because I didn’t have anyone else.”
As far as Eve knew, Lind didn’t have anyone else either. Was that why he had joined too? Was he looking for that sense of shelter that Lucas had hinted at? That must have been the case. Lind had been looking for shelter and protection. He had been looking for closeness, for belonging. He had been looking for brotherhood. And he had found it all with the Diamondbacks.
It was then that Eve realized that she didn’t stand a chance. How could she even begin to compare with the people who had given Lind the home he had never had? There was simply no contest, and Eve suddenly felt like the biggest idiot for ever thinking that there might be.
She took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions. She tried to put herself in Lind’s shoes, to imagine what he must have felt when he made his choice for such a drastic lifestyle, but there was just no way that she could even begin to understand. It was just too different from what she knew.
For the next couple of hours, Eve lay in bed and tried to decide whether she could get past everything that she had learned. Could she cope with the knowledge that she would always come second to the man she loved? Could she accept his past? Could she get over the fact that he could be as ruthless as the rumors about the Viper said?
She wasn’t sure she could. If anyone had asked her the very same questions a few weeks ago, Eve would have said yes to all in a heartbeat. But back then she had only had a vague sense of
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