Kingdom's Dream by Iris Gower Page A

end. Without Joe the house was strangely empty and she missed him badly. She missed Lloyd, too, with his arcane wisdom and his ability to laugh at small things. Even though she had grown used to their son’s absences while he was at college, it unsettled her to know that he was in America.
    She was troubled: would Lloyd really give up all he had worked for to live with a Native American tribe? Would he exchange a secure future for a dream? It certainly seemed that way.
    From upstairs Llinos heard the sound of her younger son laughing, and her features softened. Sion was a joy. He was not too old to hug and kiss her, and when he wound his arms around her neck she felt she held the whole world in her grasp.
    The laughter stopped, and the only sound now was the rain. It had been pouring off and on for the best part of a week and the gardens looked dispirited. Standing at the window, looking beyond the garden to where the kilns steamed as the heat inside met the day’s chill, Llinos felt as though she had been abandoned by the whole world. And Dafydd would soon be married, lost to her for ever.
    She frowned. What could Dafydd have in common with such a selfish girl? Jayne needed to grow up before she was ready for marriage. As for herself, perhaps she was too old for love – at least of the passionate kind. Would she never again know the starburst of sensation that had been so thrilling, so rejuvenating?
    She sank into a chair and covered her eyes with her hands. Dafydd. She could picture him now, well built, muscular, with a fine white skin.
    The jangling of the doorbell startled her and Llinos looked up and towards the window. Who was visiting her at such an early hour? Her heart leaped as she saw the carriage standing outside the front door. The monogram, gleaming gold in a sudden shaft of sunshine, told her that it belonged to Dafydd Buchan.
    The maid looked into the room and spoke in a hushed voice. Ever since Joe had gone away she was acting as though there had been a death in the household. ‘Mr Buchan to see you, Mrs Mainwaring. Shall I show him in?’
    Llinos’s first instinct was to say no but, heart fluttering inside her like a trapped bird, she nodded. The maid disappeared, and then Dafydd was in the room, filling it with his presence.
    â€˜Dafydd,’ her voice was faint, ‘what are you doing here?’ She pulled herself up sharply. ‘Please, sit down.’ He looked no different from when he had been her lover.
    Instead of sitting down, he crossed the room and then she was in his arms. ‘My love, don’t talk to me as if I was a stranger.’ His hair brushed her cheek and she was filled with an overwhelming longing to lie with him just one more time, to feel his hands on her, to have him move within her and bring her such joy.
    It was madness to think like that, and Llinos disentangled herself. ‘Dafydd, please, don’t touch me. I can’t bear it.’
    He took her hands and led her to the sofa, his fingers entwined with hers. ‘Llinos, listen to me,’ he said gently. ‘If I could have you I would never look at another woman. As it is,’ he shrugged, ‘I’m going to marry Jayne. You must see that I need a marriage and children to take over from me some day. But I will always care for you and Sion, you know that.’
    â€˜I will look after Sion,’ Llinos said stiffly. ‘You know I can provide for him so don’t trouble yourself.’
    Dafydd looked into her eyes. ‘I still love you, Llinos, and, God help me, I still want you as much as I ever did.’
    He touched her shoulder and instantly she was aflame. She rose quickly and put as much distance between them as she could. ‘Dafydd, please don’t torment me like this. You are going to be Jayne’s husband, and you must be faithful to her or you will destroy her. She is young, she has dreams, and those dreams include a husband who loves