Kingdom's Dream by Iris Gower Page B

her.’
    â€˜But I don’t love her,’ Dafydd said quietly. ‘Believe me when I tell you that this is a marriage of convenience, nothing more or less. Of course I will try to make her happy, that goes without saying.’
    â€˜I can’t bear it!’ Llinos said brokenly. ‘I keep picturing her in your arms, as you make love to her in the way you made love to me.’
    â€˜It will never be like that.’ Dafydd came towards her. ‘You will always be first in my heart.’ He took her in his arms and, with his hand behind her head, forced her to look up at him. He kissed her then, and she melted against him. ‘How could I give her my body in the way I gave it to you when I can’t give her my heart or soul? You already have them, my sweet girl.’ He kissed her again, and Llinos prolonged it, wanting more of him.
    At last she moved away. ‘Please go, Dafydd. I can’t bear to be with you, now that you belong to someone else.’
    â€˜I want you so much,’ Dafydd said, breathlessly. ‘Please, Llinos, can’t we . . .’
    His words trailed away as Llinos held up her hand. ‘No, we can’t!’ Tears burned her eyes. ‘It’s over between us, my love.’
    â€˜Are you saying you don’t want me? Because if you are then I know you’re lying.’
    She shook her head. ‘I want you as much as you want me, but we can’t be together, not now, not ever.’
    â€˜Ever is a long time.’
    Dafydd moved to the door and Llinos almost begged him to come back to her but she straightened her shoulders. ‘I can’t be the one to hurt Jayne,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve known her from the day she was born.’ She fought for control. ‘She is an innocent and doesn’t know yet that infidelity and betrayal are part of every marriage.’
    â€˜Llinos, it’s not like you to be so cynical,’ Dafydd said. ‘You are so sad, and if I could save you pain I would, you know that. But I can’t lead my life like a monk. Please, though, Llinos, say you’ll let me see Sion sometimes.’
    â€˜Sion knows only one father and he is Joe,’ Llinos said firmly. ‘He must never know the truth.’
    â€˜But he’s bound to find out one day, Llinos. You must see that.’
    She sank into a chair. ‘You may be right, but now he’s too young to understand the ways of the world. Let him enjoy his childhood.’
    â€˜I sometimes think children know more of what’s going on than we give them credit for,’ Dafydd said gently.
    â€˜Please, you must go, Dafydd. We have nothing more we can say to each other.’
    â€˜Goodbye then, my love.’ He kissed her hand. ‘And remember, I’ll never stop loving you.’
    She stood in the window and watched him walk round the house towards the stables, then returned to her chair and once more covered her face with her hands. She felt even more alone than ever.
    â€˜What do you think, Dafydd? The oyster or the virginal white?’ Sunlight splashed in through the windows of Howell’s Emporium as Jayne held up the scraps of fabric.
    He scarcely glanced at them as he thought of her naïvety. She was a virgin in every sense of the word, the sort of girl any man longed for, chaste and wealthy, but Dafydd had drunk of a more mature wine and had no taste for novelty. ‘Pristine white for you, Jayne,’ he said smoothly, ‘to reflect your purity.’ He searched her face for any sign that she had understood the irony in his words. She had not. Indeed, she was flushed with what he took to be pleasure.
    â€˜Then white it will be.’ She included the salesman in her beatific smile. ‘Send a bolt of the satin to my father, will you, Frazer?’ She took Dafydd’s arm and led him towards the door. He smiled down at her indulgently. She was a pretty thing and so easy to please: Jayne