John and Frederick had chosen wisely and that this man could help her conceive a child—an heir for Lord Collins—when all the other Collins’ brides had failed.
“I promise all will be well for you,” she told the man on a sob. “You will be looked after while you are here and will be back where you belong in the next few days. I vow you will be none the worse for your time here.”
In desolation she knew her future would never be the same again. Her soul would be forever blackened by her shame and guilt.
As often as possible over the next few days leading up to her wedding, Lisette would make the short trip into the village in pursuit of her goal. She would revisit this stranger to milk him of his seed in the hope of becoming with child.
Chapter 4
Collins Keep
“You are so beautiful Lisette,” Genevieve told her wistfully. “I hope I will be a bride as beautiful as you!”
Lisette stiffened at the innocent words. Her younger sister would make a far more beautiful bride. She only hoped that what she had done before she left Bridlemere proved fruitful so Genevieve would never become Lord Collins’ bride.
“You are beautiful, m’lady. You are the image of your mother.” Ysabel agreed.
The mention of her mother made Lisette bite down on her lip to try to stem the grief that threatened to overwhelm her. Would her parents be ashamed of her or would they understand that she had done the only thing she could think of to save both herself and Genevieve? With her parents gone, the burden of responsibility for her sister pressed down on her acutely. The threat of having Genevieve as Collins’ next wife was now in God’s hands. Lisette had done all she could in that regard. But, after their guardian’s disgraceful behaviour, Lisette worried about leaving Genevieve in his household—even though Ysabel, John and Frederick had promised to do all they could to keep her out of harm’s way.
Mayhap if she pleased Lord Collins, Lisette would be able to convince him to have Genevieve stay here at Collins Keep and try to influence a suitable matrimonial match.
“The cornflower blue shade of your gown exactly matches your eyes,” Genevieve went on, completely oblivious to the agitation churning in the cauldron that was Lisette’s stomach. “Your shiny blonde hair must make all the angels in heaven jealous.”
This time the child’s words added weight to the already heavy state of Lisette’s conscience. The angels would not be jealous, but were they standing by her as she went to her marriage? She prayed the company of Heaven had not turned their backs on her. Every day she would strive to do good in other ways and hope to make up for what had already consigned her to an eternity in Hell.
The man she had so sorely used was most likely back with his family now celebrating his good fortune, but the knowledge that he would be freed a richer man had brought her little consolation as she had continued to visit him. The dark circles under her eyes were a testimony to her sleepless nights and her troubled conscience. A few times she had been at breaking point, sure she could not continue with her plan, and then she would see Genevieve and force herself to make the trip back to John’s hut in the village.
“Come, Genevieve,” Ysabel directed. “We must away to the chapel.” Then, giving Lisette a motherly hug, she whispered, “I will ’ave what you need at the wedding feast. I will slip it to you then.”
Left alone, Lisette sank to her knees and prayed again for both forgiveness and protection. In her complete naivety, she’d thought procuring the seed she needed would be easy—a sheer physical act. She hadn’t thought of the man she rode as a person, just as a body that would provide her with what she needed. In reality, even though she could not see his face and did not know his name, she was eaten alive with remorse. Ysabel had found her
“I promise all will be well for you,” she told the man on a sob. “You will be looked after while you are here and will be back where you belong in the next few days. I vow you will be none the worse for your time here.”
In desolation she knew her future would never be the same again. Her soul would be forever blackened by her shame and guilt.
As often as possible over the next few days leading up to her wedding, Lisette would make the short trip into the village in pursuit of her goal. She would revisit this stranger to milk him of his seed in the hope of becoming with child.
Chapter 4
Collins Keep
“You are so beautiful Lisette,” Genevieve told her wistfully. “I hope I will be a bride as beautiful as you!”
Lisette stiffened at the innocent words. Her younger sister would make a far more beautiful bride. She only hoped that what she had done before she left Bridlemere proved fruitful so Genevieve would never become Lord Collins’ bride.
“You are beautiful, m’lady. You are the image of your mother.” Ysabel agreed.
The mention of her mother made Lisette bite down on her lip to try to stem the grief that threatened to overwhelm her. Would her parents be ashamed of her or would they understand that she had done the only thing she could think of to save both herself and Genevieve? With her parents gone, the burden of responsibility for her sister pressed down on her acutely. The threat of having Genevieve as Collins’ next wife was now in God’s hands. Lisette had done all she could in that regard. But, after their guardian’s disgraceful behaviour, Lisette worried about leaving Genevieve in his household—even though Ysabel, John and Frederick had promised to do all they could to keep her out of harm’s way.
Mayhap if she pleased Lord Collins, Lisette would be able to convince him to have Genevieve stay here at Collins Keep and try to influence a suitable matrimonial match.
“The cornflower blue shade of your gown exactly matches your eyes,” Genevieve went on, completely oblivious to the agitation churning in the cauldron that was Lisette’s stomach. “Your shiny blonde hair must make all the angels in heaven jealous.”
This time the child’s words added weight to the already heavy state of Lisette’s conscience. The angels would not be jealous, but were they standing by her as she went to her marriage? She prayed the company of Heaven had not turned their backs on her. Every day she would strive to do good in other ways and hope to make up for what had already consigned her to an eternity in Hell.
The man she had so sorely used was most likely back with his family now celebrating his good fortune, but the knowledge that he would be freed a richer man had brought her little consolation as she had continued to visit him. The dark circles under her eyes were a testimony to her sleepless nights and her troubled conscience. A few times she had been at breaking point, sure she could not continue with her plan, and then she would see Genevieve and force herself to make the trip back to John’s hut in the village.
“Come, Genevieve,” Ysabel directed. “We must away to the chapel.” Then, giving Lisette a motherly hug, she whispered, “I will ’ave what you need at the wedding feast. I will slip it to you then.”
Left alone, Lisette sank to her knees and prayed again for both forgiveness and protection. In her complete naivety, she’d thought procuring the seed she needed would be easy—a sheer physical act. She hadn’t thought of the man she rode as a person, just as a body that would provide her with what she needed. In reality, even though she could not see his face and did not know his name, she was eaten alive with remorse. Ysabel had found her
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