Knockout by Tracey Ward

How far was I letting this go? I didn’t know what my limit was yet because it had never been tested. I wondered if I even had one.
    When Devon slowly pulled my bra down and exposed me to the open air, I nearly stopped him. I felt like I should. Not like I wanted to, but like I should. I could hear my mother now, scolding me for letting this get so far. For neglecting my school work. For wearing too much dark eyeliner. For doodling. For the rips in my jeans, the worn out Converse shoes I loved so much, the hoodies and the Henna tattoos.
    Groaning in frustration, I grabbed Devon’s hand and I pushed it down across my stomach. I broke past the limits and barriers and shouldn’ts. I shoved his hand straight into my pants and I lifted my hips to meet it. I think he was scared because he hesitated. His hand lay motionless inside my jeans. He broke his mouth from mine as he pulled himself up to look down at me. I was breathing hard as I stared back at him, my lips parted and swollen from his kisses. I let him stare and I didn’t flinch because I wanted this. I didn’t care if I should or shouldn’t, I wanted it and I let him know it. He must have gotten the message because finally his fingers moved. He pushed my underwear aside slowly until his fingers were exactly where I wanted them to be.
    I inhaled sharply when he touched me. He grinned, knowing he had found it, that elusive spot, and it occurred to me that this wasn’t Devon’s first time doing this. I didn’t care. I didn’t want a fumbling, nervous boy. I had never even done this to myself so it was probably wise to have something of an expert leading the way.
    He moved over me again, his fingertips like flint.
    Strike. Strike. Spark .
    When he leaned down and laid a kiss on my exposed chest, I moaned in the back of my throat. I didn’t recognize my own voice. It was too low. Too deep.
    I gripped his forearm hard.
    He worked me harder.
    I mewled and kicked, whimpering as his fingers moved faster. I was dying. I was burning alive from the inside out. My stomach clenched and quivered as I struggled to breathe. This is what it felt like. What all the fuss was about. What the moans and whimpers I’d caught coming from Laney’s room were for. As I crackled and burned, embers turning red to white hot inside me, I got it. I understood. I finally felt like maybe I was no longer a girl. Maybe that hoarse, rough voice moaning deep inside of me was actually me. And she felt good .
    I started to spiral out. I felt crazy and feint.
    Then he slipped a finger inside of me.
    I lost my damn mind.
    I groaned loudly as my entire body clenched. My legs went stiff, my hands were steel clamps on his arms and I couldn’t open my eyes against the onslaught of fire roaring through me. I’d never felt anything like it. I was moaning and crying out curses as it slowly faded.
    Eventually I was able to open my eyes. I looked up at Devon to find him smiling down at me.
    “Wow,” I whispered, fully expecting smoke to leak from my lips.
    He chuckled as he pulled his hand away. He continued to stare at me, his eyes roaming over my face. I knew I probably looked a mess. My hair had to be crazy and I could feel the heat on my cheeks.
    “Jenna,” he said quietly, “you’re really beau—“
    The front door slammed open behind him.
    “I don’t fucking care, Kellen!” Laney shouted.
    “Oh shit,” I muttered as I hastily sat up and pushed myself back into my bra. Devon was quick to yank my shirt down over it.
    We both stood to face the entryway where Laney had stormed in. She turned when she saw us, looking us up and down.
    “What the hell is this?” she demanded.
    “I’m Devon. A friend of—“
    “I don’t give a shit.”
    “Oh.”
    “Laney, calm down,” Kellen said as he slowly walked inside, his hands in his pockets. He looked reluctant. And tired, his eyes dark and distant.
    “I will not calm down. You are unbelievable!”
    Kellen sighed. “You know why I can’t do