realizing it. Following this old broad around was going to be easy. If I
ever lost her, all I'd have to do is call the number on one of her signs and
schedule a house showing. I could even go to some open houses all disguised up.
I went downstairs and rifled through
the kitchen drawers for a telephone book. I got her office address from the
real-estate section and decided that the first thing I'd do was grab some
binoculars, go to her office and sit around waiting for her. Then I could tail
her and find out where she lived.
My dad walked in with the dog, and I
told him I was going out for a while. I had no idea when I'd be back, so I told
him if I didn't make it back in time for dinner, I'd have a pizza delivered.
17
I jumped in the Charger and started
driving over to Gertie's office in Culver City. I was excited because this was
going to be my first big stakeout. I imagined a street filled with big trees
that I'd park under. I'd be hidden by the shade and glued to my binoculars.
People would drive by me, and I'd duck down quick to avoid detection. I'd go
over the facts of the case again and again and make notes about everything, and
then when I finally caught a glimpse of her, I'd roll into action, following
her back to her place.
The address said Gertie Elliot's
office was on Overland Avenue. I thought I was in the wrong place at first
because when I got there, I found myself in a strip mall. The only trees around
were palm trees, and there weren't very many of them, so I just parked outside the
Starbucks nearby. That didn't seem too detective-like to me, but there was no
shade, so what could I do?
I got out of the car and looked
around a bit. On the other side of Overland and a couple of blocks to the south
was the entrance to Sony Studios. That made sense. Maybe this Gertie met all
sorts of movie types, since she did real estate right next to where they
worked. Her office was a few businesses up, sandwiched between a cell-phone
place and a fitness club. Otherwise, there was a mattress store and a pharmacy,
and behind the strip mall there was a huge electronics store and some fast food
joints. I went into the pharmacy, bought some paper and a pen, got back in the
car and drew a quick map of everything so I'd be able to show Spieldburt
exactly where I put in my hours.
I'd just about finished my map when
I saw a meter maid cruising through the parking lot. I hadn't seen any parking
meters here, so I wasn't worried, but the chick actually stopped at my car. She
tapped on my window.
“Yeah? What is it?” I asked.
“Sir, you're parked in a Berdly
Fitness spot. Are you a Berdly customer?”
“No, I am not a 'Berdly customer',”
I said, trying to imitate her official tone.
“Well, you're going to have to move
your car.”
“What if I don't want to?”
“Sir, we tow a lot of cars every
month. Your car looks really nice, and I'd hate to see it scratched up by the
tow company. They tend to be fairly jealous, so when they see a nice car like
this, they aren't very careful.”
I couldn't believe it. I wasn't being
very nice to this lady, and she was being nice to me because I had a nice car
and nice clothes. If I'd have been in my piece-of-junk car wearing my
flip-flops and stained shorts, she probably wouldn't even have given me the
warning. This was crazy.
“Thanks for letting me know. Sorry I
was being rude—I really need some caffeine. Where can I park?”
“Anywhere you don't see a Berdly
stop sign painted on the ground. Most of these are 15-minute spots, but over by
the electronics store there's unlimited parking.”
“Thanks,” I said. I started the car
up and drove over there. It was all wrong. I couldn't see anything anymore. I
grabbed my pen and paper, put the binoculars in my jacket pocket, and walked
back over to the strip-mall parking lot.
The first thing I did was pass
quickly by Gertie Elliot's door. I didn't even look in. That way if she saw me,
she'd think I was just some dude going
ever lost her, all I'd have to do is call the number on one of her signs and
schedule a house showing. I could even go to some open houses all disguised up.
I went downstairs and rifled through
the kitchen drawers for a telephone book. I got her office address from the
real-estate section and decided that the first thing I'd do was grab some
binoculars, go to her office and sit around waiting for her. Then I could tail
her and find out where she lived.
My dad walked in with the dog, and I
told him I was going out for a while. I had no idea when I'd be back, so I told
him if I didn't make it back in time for dinner, I'd have a pizza delivered.
17
I jumped in the Charger and started
driving over to Gertie's office in Culver City. I was excited because this was
going to be my first big stakeout. I imagined a street filled with big trees
that I'd park under. I'd be hidden by the shade and glued to my binoculars.
People would drive by me, and I'd duck down quick to avoid detection. I'd go
over the facts of the case again and again and make notes about everything, and
then when I finally caught a glimpse of her, I'd roll into action, following
her back to her place.
The address said Gertie Elliot's
office was on Overland Avenue. I thought I was in the wrong place at first
because when I got there, I found myself in a strip mall. The only trees around
were palm trees, and there weren't very many of them, so I just parked outside the
Starbucks nearby. That didn't seem too detective-like to me, but there was no
shade, so what could I do?
I got out of the car and looked
around a bit. On the other side of Overland and a couple of blocks to the south
was the entrance to Sony Studios. That made sense. Maybe this Gertie met all
sorts of movie types, since she did real estate right next to where they
worked. Her office was a few businesses up, sandwiched between a cell-phone
place and a fitness club. Otherwise, there was a mattress store and a pharmacy,
and behind the strip mall there was a huge electronics store and some fast food
joints. I went into the pharmacy, bought some paper and a pen, got back in the
car and drew a quick map of everything so I'd be able to show Spieldburt
exactly where I put in my hours.
I'd just about finished my map when
I saw a meter maid cruising through the parking lot. I hadn't seen any parking
meters here, so I wasn't worried, but the chick actually stopped at my car. She
tapped on my window.
“Yeah? What is it?” I asked.
“Sir, you're parked in a Berdly
Fitness spot. Are you a Berdly customer?”
“No, I am not a 'Berdly customer',”
I said, trying to imitate her official tone.
“Well, you're going to have to move
your car.”
“What if I don't want to?”
“Sir, we tow a lot of cars every
month. Your car looks really nice, and I'd hate to see it scratched up by the
tow company. They tend to be fairly jealous, so when they see a nice car like
this, they aren't very careful.”
I couldn't believe it. I wasn't being
very nice to this lady, and she was being nice to me because I had a nice car
and nice clothes. If I'd have been in my piece-of-junk car wearing my
flip-flops and stained shorts, she probably wouldn't even have given me the
warning. This was crazy.
“Thanks for letting me know. Sorry I
was being rude—I really need some caffeine. Where can I park?”
“Anywhere you don't see a Berdly
stop sign painted on the ground. Most of these are 15-minute spots, but over by
the electronics store there's unlimited parking.”
“Thanks,” I said. I started the car
up and drove over there. It was all wrong. I couldn't see anything anymore. I
grabbed my pen and paper, put the binoculars in my jacket pocket, and walked
back over to the strip-mall parking lot.
The first thing I did was pass
quickly by Gertie Elliot's door. I didn't even look in. That way if she saw me,
she'd think I was just some dude going
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