Ladies Coupe by Anita Nair

tongue. She hadn’t done this for a long time, she thought. Air her feelings, her thoughts, without having to worry that it would be used against her someday.
    ‘You are right,’ Akhila slowly turned towards Margaret, feeling the words form in her mouth with relish, ‘I can’t ask other people to make up my mind for me. If I were to make up my mind based on what Janaki had to say of her life, then I should continue to live with my family. I might not love them, but at least they are there.’
    ‘You’ve only heard Janaki’s story. How can you give up so easily?’ Prabha Devi said. The disappointment in her voice was palpable.
    ‘I didn’t say I’m giving up,’ Akhila said.
    ‘What will you do?’
    ‘I don’t know. Not yet … When I worked in Madras, I had a friend. A young Anglo-Indian girl. Her name was Katherine Webber. I used to visit Katherine’s home every week and some days her Mummy would chat with me. One time, she said something about finding sermons even in stones. I don’t remember why she said it nor did I understand what she meant. But I do now. Your lives are different from mine. And it is silly of me to think that if you told me about yourselves, your lives, that would guide me
in my decision. And yet …’ Akhila shrugged, unable to continue, her thoughts suddenly in a tangle.
    Janaki paused in the middle of combing her hair and smiled.
    ‘Why are you smiling?’ Akhila asked.
    ‘I can already see a change in you. For the first time this evening, I can see life in your eyes. I can almost feel the excitement that is within you. Earlier in the night, when I saw you standing on the platform, I thought to myself, what a rigid looking woman, with capable hands and a stern face. I thought you were a school headmistress or a nursing superintendent.’
    ‘I didn’t know school headmistresses had a certain look,’ Margaret said, not bothering to hide her annoyance.
    ‘Oh, they do,’ Prabha Devi butted in. ‘They have this air about them as though the whole world is a bunch of unruly school kids who have to be put in their place. But you don’t look like that … you look like someone working in a multinational company, you know, successful, confident …’
    ‘Alright, alright, I get your point,’ Margaret said with a smile. A radiant smile that made her eyes sparkle and took everyone by surprise.
    ‘I’m not who everyone thinks I am,’ Akhila said slowly.
    ‘I know that now. But you hide behind such a stiff armour of control that most people must be in awe of you,’ Janaki said.
    When Akhila remained silent, she said gently, ‘I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.’
    ‘You didn’t hurt my feelings. Not at all,’ Akhila said. ‘But I was thinking about what you said. I wasn’t always like this; so stiff and restrained. I had to grow a shell around myself To protect myself. To deflect hurt and pain. If I hadn’t, I would have gone insane.’
    Janaki reached over and touched her arm. ‘I’m sorry if I made you think of something painful from your past. Forget it. Forget this conversation.’
    She briskly plaited her hair and then turning to the others said, ‘Isn’t it time we thought about settling in for the night?’
    One by one, they opened their bags and took out sheets and pillows. Janaki had the lower berth. She stood up so that Margaret and Prabha Devi could raise the middle berth and fix it to the top-most one.
    ‘Which one do you want? The middle one or the top one?’ Prabha Devi asked Margaret.
    She shrugged. ‘I don’t mind either.’
    ‘In that case, I’ll take the top one.’
    Janaki filled a glass with water from a bottle, unscrewed a small vial and took out a tablet. When she caught Akhila’s eye, she let a wry smile flutter on her lips. There were no more secrets, it seemed to suggest. And suddenly, the awkwardness that had crept in between them seemed to dissipate.
    Prabha Devi hovered by the door of the coupé. ‘Shall I latch it?’ she