Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovich Page A

bras." Forty-five minutes later, I had Grandma in the Victoria s Secret dressing room, trying on push-up bras.
    "Okay," Grandma said from the other side of the door. "I got them all lifted up, and they look pretty good except for the wrinkles."
    "I wouldn't worry about the wrinkles," I told her. "It looked to me like Elmer has cataracts."
    "Maybe I need one of them thongs to go with this bra," she said. I didn't want to think about Grandma in a thong. "Some pretty panties might be better."
    "As long as they're sexy. I might get lucky tonight."
    If she got lucky, Elmer would drop dead before dinner. "I'll pick out something that will match while you're getting dressed," I told Grandma. We were at the register with the bra and panties, and I heard something sizzle in my head, and the next thing I knew I was on the floor and my lips were tingling.
    "Wha…" I said.
    Grandma was bending over me. "You got zapped by Joyce Barnhardt. I heard you go over, and I turned around and saw Joyce standing there with a stun gun. We called the police, but she ran off. Dirty rotten coward."
    I looked past Grandma and saw a mall rent-a-cop nervously looking down at me.
    "Are you okay?" he asked. "We got a doctor coming."
    "Get me up on my feet," I said.
    "I don't know if I should," he said. "Maybe you should just lay there until help gets here."
    "Get me up!" I yelled at him. "I don't need a doctor. I need a new car and a new job and ten minutes alone with Ranger. This is all his fault."
    The rent-a-cop got me under my armpits and hoisted me up. I went down to my knees, grabbed hold of his shirt, and pulled myself up again.
    "Jeez, lady," he said.
    "Don't worry," I told him. "This happens to me a lot. I'm good at it." Grandma led me through the mall, and we managed to get to the parking lot and the Vic without the doctor finding me. I was supposed to be keeping a low profile. I didn't want to find myself on the evening news. Local bounty hunter stun-gunned in mall. Details at eight. Grandma stood back and looked at my car. "Was your car decorated like this when we left it? I don't remember all this writing on it."
    Someone had spray-painted PIG CAR in black and white on the passenger side door and trunk lid.
    "Its new," I said.
    "I would have used brighter colors," Grandma said. "Gold would have looked good. You can't go wrong with gold."
    "The black and white goes better with the squirrel hair stuck to the dash," I told her.
    "I was wondering what that was," Grandma said. "I figured it was one of them new animal print decorator schemes."
    "Lula helped me with it."
    "Isn't she the one," Grandma said.
    I got behind the wheel and motored out of the lot and onto the highway.
    "Do you hear a grinding sound?" Grandma asked.
    "All cars sound like that," I said. "You're just noticing it because I don't have the radio on loud enough. What about Milton? Did you notice if he was wearing jewelry?"
    "Nothing worth anything. His lodge lapel pin. That was about it. I know you're looking for Simon Diggery. It'll take something good to get him out in this weather. I'll check out Harry Rozinski, but he probably won't have anything worth taking, and he's not Diggery s size."
    "Do you need a ride tonight?"
    "No. Elmer has a car. He's picking me up."
    It was a little after four when I dropped Grandma off. Lights were on in Burg houses and tables were being set for dinner. This was a community where families still sat together for meals. I turned right onto Hamilton and ten minutes later, I was in my apartment building. I let myself in, and Bob rushed over to me.
    "Where's Joe?" I asked him.
    Not in the kitchen. Not in the dining room. Not in the living room. I went to the bedroom and found him asleep in my bed.
    "Hey Goldilocks," I said.
    Morelli came awake and rolled onto his back. "What time is it?"
    "Four-thirty. Have you been here long?"
    "Couple hours."
    "I heard a news report on the Berringer murders while I was in the car. They said the police were