Learning to Breathe by J. C. McClean

I was choking while I screamed out for help and I could feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness. Suddenly, I could feel strong arms around me and hear someone comforting me.
    “Darcie, you’re going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise …”
     
    I jolted upright and vaguely became aware that I had been dreaming again. Taking deep breaths, I managed to steady my heart rate and then made my way downstairs in search of a glass of water. I hated this. I hated how the nightmares affected me. I sat down at the kitchen table , my head in my hands as I tried to erase the last echoes of the dream from my brain.
    I was too engrossed in my own thoughts that I failed to hear my mother enter the room until she spoke.
    “Another nightmare?” she enquired in a hushed tone.
    I shook my head but didn’t meet her eyes – I didn’t want her to know that they were still haunting me.
    “No, just couldn’t sleep.” I sneaked a look at her face to see if she was buying my pathetic excuse – it didn’t look like it.
    She frowned at me. “It’s four-thirty in the morning and you only got in 2 hours ago so I find that hard to believe. I’d have thought that you’d be unconscious by now.”
    I let out a low laugh . “Yeah I suppose I should be but what’s your excuse for being up so late?”
    “I’m concerned about my daughter.” she stated simply. “I thought they’d stopped.” she added with a worried look.
    I sighed heavily. “They have … I just get the odd one now and again but I’m fine … I promise.”
    I knew it was wrong to lie to my mother but I really didn’t want to cause her anymore stress than I had in the last eight months – she already had enough on her plate. Besides, it was my problem, not hers.
    She sighed. “Okay but if you ever want to talk, you know where I am.”
    I nodded. “Thanks but really, I’m fine.” I threw her a small smile and then went back up to bed.
    I felt guilty about lying but I didn’t want my mother to worry about me. If I told her the truth, it would inevitably mean more ‘how are you feeling’ conversations and those I could live without.
    I climbed back into bed and tried my best to think of anything but the nightmare. It wasn’t easy but I must have succeeded as the last thing I remembered was reading a book and then it was lights out.
     
    I woke up to find the sun streaming in through a crack in the curtains. I glanced at the clock – 9.30am. I groaned but forced myself to get up. After making my way downstairs, I found a note from my mother on the kitchen table:
     
    ‘Called into work. Don’t know when I’ll be home.
    Order yourself some pizza for dinner – the money’s on top of the microwave.
    Love you,
    Mum x’
     
    I stifled a yawn and leisurely ate my breakfast, wondering what to do with my day of freedom. I considered calling Harriet to make plans to go somewhere but quickly nixed that idea when I remembered that she wasn’t at home. Instead, I took my time showering and then contemplated about what to wear.
    By the time I had done all this, it was 11.30am and I still hadn’t decided what to do. However, my decision was made for me when I received a phone call from the le isure centre. One of the leaders of the Kids’ Klub was sick and I was needed to help out from twelve until three o’clock.
    I agreed and set about making my way to the bus stop. A short while later and I arrived at the centre, much to the relief of Mr Deacon.
    “Darcie! Thanks again for coming in at such short notice, I really appreciate it. Now, the Kids’ Klub is in the hall downstairs on your left. I think Danny’s probably already there.” And with that he rushed off.
    I must have stood still for about two minutes before my brain finally caught up with my senses. I decided to curse fate there and then – it seemed that it was determined that I should spend time with Danny.
    However , three hours in the same room with him seemed a bit