women friends, or worse yet, men. And of course, Reverend Pratt, being a minister, could not tell. He was sworn to secrecy.
All this thinking I was doing while my tied hands sat in my lap. Amber fed me the jellied cornmeal mush, spoonful by spoonful, like I was a baby. Quiet tears rolled down my face and Amber wiped them away. Mother sat enjoying her food, sipping her sherry, and smiling at me wickedly.
After my noonday meal she had Amber change my dress. I was brought upstairs and my hands were untied briefly while the beautiful, but now mussed, white organdy with the pink sash was taken off and thrown aside. Then the petticoats were removed and a plain blue and white checkered dress with a slim skirt was slipped over my head. It had long sleeves with white cuffs and a round white collar.
"Right down from Vermont," Mother said delightedly.
She sat me at the desk and set a Bible in front of me, then rifled through the pages until she found what she wanted.
I was to memorize Psalm 51, begging the Lord to wash me thoroughly from my wickedness and cleanse me from my sins. I was to acknowledge that my sins were forever before me.
The part about my mother having conceived me in wickedness was crossed out.
She left me there, warning me to memorize it all. All right, I would. And I did so, including the part that was crossed out. I would recite it to her that way. It was the word of the Lord, I would tell her.
Likely she would whip me again, but I did not care. I knew, as sure as if Louis and Teddy were standing in the room with me, that I must have the mettle to stand up to her. I must show her I had values, that she could not make me cower,
that my brothers had done right by me.
I went over the words again and again in my mind. The windows were open and the warm wind blew in along with the drowsy sound of afternoon birdcalls and katydids. My eyes went heavy. What was I supposed to be saying? Something about my sins, and my mother having conceived me in wickedness. Slowly, I put my arms down on the desk and my head down on them and dozed.
I did not hear the approaching footsteps on the stairs, or the door opening.
"So, that's how you study, eh? Get up, you lazy girl!"
I stumbled to my feet, dragging myself awake. Where was I? Oh, yes. The Betsy Ross doll on the bed grinned, reminding me.
"Well? Have you memorized the psalm?"
"Yes, ma'am."
She pounded the end of her riding crop on the floor. "Recite," she ordered.
So I did, clearly and precisely. All of it. Including the line about her having conceived me in wickedness. I gave special emphasis to that part.
"Stop!" she shouted, and slammed the riding crop on the floor again. "
What was that you just said?
"
"It was a line from the psalm."
"I know what it was. It was crossed out, wasn't it? Don't you know what that means? Are you stupid as well as disobedient and unruly?"
I stood straight and tall. "It is the word of the Lord," I told her.
"I'll
tell
you what the word of the Lord is. How dare you interpret it on your own!" She reached to grab me, but I backed away, just far enough to the window to see a carriage pulling up in front.
Our carriage!
And people getting out!
My people. Viola. And Cannice. And the dog Cicero. And the mayor. And Pa, with a gun.
She grabbed me and threw me face-down on the bed and raised the riding crop, but I rolled and jumped up and away from her. "Pa's here and he's got a gun," I told her, "and you know what he told you. That he'd kill you if you ever hit me again. And Pa's just crazy enough to do it."
"You lie," she growled. "You lie."
I ran out of the room, down the stairs, and through the hall. They were just bursting in the door. Amber was there to greet them.
"These are my people, Amber," I told her. "They've come to rescue me." And I threw myself into Viola's arms. "Oh, am I glad to see you all." Then I hugged Pa, who hugged me back. He did not have his rifle. Mayor Hanley must have made him leave it in the carriage.
All this thinking I was doing while my tied hands sat in my lap. Amber fed me the jellied cornmeal mush, spoonful by spoonful, like I was a baby. Quiet tears rolled down my face and Amber wiped them away. Mother sat enjoying her food, sipping her sherry, and smiling at me wickedly.
After my noonday meal she had Amber change my dress. I was brought upstairs and my hands were untied briefly while the beautiful, but now mussed, white organdy with the pink sash was taken off and thrown aside. Then the petticoats were removed and a plain blue and white checkered dress with a slim skirt was slipped over my head. It had long sleeves with white cuffs and a round white collar.
"Right down from Vermont," Mother said delightedly.
She sat me at the desk and set a Bible in front of me, then rifled through the pages until she found what she wanted.
I was to memorize Psalm 51, begging the Lord to wash me thoroughly from my wickedness and cleanse me from my sins. I was to acknowledge that my sins were forever before me.
The part about my mother having conceived me in wickedness was crossed out.
She left me there, warning me to memorize it all. All right, I would. And I did so, including the part that was crossed out. I would recite it to her that way. It was the word of the Lord, I would tell her.
Likely she would whip me again, but I did not care. I knew, as sure as if Louis and Teddy were standing in the room with me, that I must have the mettle to stand up to her. I must show her I had values, that she could not make me cower,
that my brothers had done right by me.
I went over the words again and again in my mind. The windows were open and the warm wind blew in along with the drowsy sound of afternoon birdcalls and katydids. My eyes went heavy. What was I supposed to be saying? Something about my sins, and my mother having conceived me in wickedness. Slowly, I put my arms down on the desk and my head down on them and dozed.
I did not hear the approaching footsteps on the stairs, or the door opening.
"So, that's how you study, eh? Get up, you lazy girl!"
I stumbled to my feet, dragging myself awake. Where was I? Oh, yes. The Betsy Ross doll on the bed grinned, reminding me.
"Well? Have you memorized the psalm?"
"Yes, ma'am."
She pounded the end of her riding crop on the floor. "Recite," she ordered.
So I did, clearly and precisely. All of it. Including the line about her having conceived me in wickedness. I gave special emphasis to that part.
"Stop!" she shouted, and slammed the riding crop on the floor again. "
What was that you just said?
"
"It was a line from the psalm."
"I know what it was. It was crossed out, wasn't it? Don't you know what that means? Are you stupid as well as disobedient and unruly?"
I stood straight and tall. "It is the word of the Lord," I told her.
"I'll
tell
you what the word of the Lord is. How dare you interpret it on your own!" She reached to grab me, but I backed away, just far enough to the window to see a carriage pulling up in front.
Our carriage!
And people getting out!
My people. Viola. And Cannice. And the dog Cicero. And the mayor. And Pa, with a gun.
She grabbed me and threw me face-down on the bed and raised the riding crop, but I rolled and jumped up and away from her. "Pa's here and he's got a gun," I told her, "and you know what he told you. That he'd kill you if you ever hit me again. And Pa's just crazy enough to do it."
"You lie," she growled. "You lie."
I ran out of the room, down the stairs, and through the hall. They were just bursting in the door. Amber was there to greet them.
"These are my people, Amber," I told her. "They've come to rescue me." And I threw myself into Viola's arms. "Oh, am I glad to see you all." Then I hugged Pa, who hugged me back. He did not have his rifle. Mayor Hanley must have made him leave it in the carriage.
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