wife.
“So what I need from you, Detective, is everything you have on this guy. It was a huge case four or five years ago. All I have is what is on the internet. But, what I’m really interested in is talking to this housekeeper.”
“You think she is lying?” he asked.
“I don’t know, but this shit is way too hinky to not investigate every goddamn little nook and cranny of.”
“I agree. I’m actually still at home right now but when I get down to the station, I’ll start working on it. I’ll get back to you as soon as I have something.”
“Thank you Detective. Tell The Bone I said what’s up, too.”
“Will do. See ya, Lemons.”
“Bye, Detective.”
Apparently we both forgot about tough guy hangs up and been reduced to proper, polite farewells. Gettin” shot changes you, man. It changes you! But seriously, tough guy hang up fail number one-million.
I ended the call and immediately called Max from the records department.
“Cocks!” he answered. “What can I do ya for?”
“Dolla fitty! Lub you long ti’!”
“What a bargain!”
I laughed and finally gave a proper greeting.
“Hey Max. How ya been?”
“Been good. How ‘bout you, Killer?’
Ugh!
“I actually need a favor from you again.”
“Right on. Another case? This one’s not going to get you almost killed is it?”
“God, I hope not. Fingers crossed, please.”
“Ha, so whatcha need?”
“There is some actor named Brad Jackson…”
“Sure,” he interrupted. “Hunky vampires of the Hollywood Hills, and countless rom-com chick flicks.”
“You’ve heard of him?”
“Sure,” he said, matter-of-factly. “Who hasn’t?”
“Well, me for starters. But anyway. I guess this guy’s wife was murdered a few years ago.”
“Sure. By that crazy bitch stalker of his. You didn’t hear about that?”
“Guess I must have missed it.”
“Okay, well, whatta ya need?”
“I need a background check on him. And his housekeeper that was the eyewitness. And the crazy stalker bitch who did it.”
“You want a background check on Brad Jackson?” He seemed shocked. “What in the hell for?”
“You’re just going to have to trust me on this one”
“Yikes. Okay, man. You’re not crappin’ in someone else’s litterbox again, are ya?”
“Pretty much, man. I’m not even diggin’ a hole.”
“Awesome. You should have hung up after that.”
Damn-it. “Damn-it.”
“I’ll call ya back when I get them, okay. The stalker’s name is Emma Ricks. I remember that from the trail. Do you know the housekeeper’s name, though?”
“Yeah, Inez Valenzuela.”
“I’m sure there can’t be too many of those in LA.” We laughed and I said thanks then concluded the call.
Now I had nothing to do but sit here in this lice-infested sand and wait.
12.
So, I saw this little huddle of baby flies swarming near the sand by where I was seated and decided that was about enough for me. I had a better idea, anyway. I stood up and walked towards the water.
“Hey Elliot,” I called out. He turned and looked. “Come here for a minute, please. Grab Wrecker, too.”
Elliot grabbed my dog and ran over to me.
“Hold on to him for a second okay, I just want to get a picture.”
“Okay, Uncle Archie!” He gave me a big smile.
“Okay, now I want you to put your head down. Don’t look at the camera.”
“Umm okay?”
He did as he was told and looked down at Wrecker so the picture didn’t capture his face. I told him thanks then yelled out to Elise that I was going to steal her car for thirty minutes. She didn’t seem to care. She was probably impressed I lasted this long.
I grabbed the keys from her bag and headed back up to civilization. On the way to the car I stopped in at Poncho’s, the local surf shop, where I quickly purchased a large straw beach hat which I would be billing to…shit…myself. Backfire.
I cruised up to the beach area’s local Wal-Mart and printed out the picture I just took and turned it
“So what I need from you, Detective, is everything you have on this guy. It was a huge case four or five years ago. All I have is what is on the internet. But, what I’m really interested in is talking to this housekeeper.”
“You think she is lying?” he asked.
“I don’t know, but this shit is way too hinky to not investigate every goddamn little nook and cranny of.”
“I agree. I’m actually still at home right now but when I get down to the station, I’ll start working on it. I’ll get back to you as soon as I have something.”
“Thank you Detective. Tell The Bone I said what’s up, too.”
“Will do. See ya, Lemons.”
“Bye, Detective.”
Apparently we both forgot about tough guy hangs up and been reduced to proper, polite farewells. Gettin” shot changes you, man. It changes you! But seriously, tough guy hang up fail number one-million.
I ended the call and immediately called Max from the records department.
“Cocks!” he answered. “What can I do ya for?”
“Dolla fitty! Lub you long ti’!”
“What a bargain!”
I laughed and finally gave a proper greeting.
“Hey Max. How ya been?”
“Been good. How ‘bout you, Killer?’
Ugh!
“I actually need a favor from you again.”
“Right on. Another case? This one’s not going to get you almost killed is it?”
“God, I hope not. Fingers crossed, please.”
“Ha, so whatcha need?”
“There is some actor named Brad Jackson…”
“Sure,” he interrupted. “Hunky vampires of the Hollywood Hills, and countless rom-com chick flicks.”
“You’ve heard of him?”
“Sure,” he said, matter-of-factly. “Who hasn’t?”
“Well, me for starters. But anyway. I guess this guy’s wife was murdered a few years ago.”
“Sure. By that crazy bitch stalker of his. You didn’t hear about that?”
“Guess I must have missed it.”
“Okay, well, whatta ya need?”
“I need a background check on him. And his housekeeper that was the eyewitness. And the crazy stalker bitch who did it.”
“You want a background check on Brad Jackson?” He seemed shocked. “What in the hell for?”
“You’re just going to have to trust me on this one”
“Yikes. Okay, man. You’re not crappin’ in someone else’s litterbox again, are ya?”
“Pretty much, man. I’m not even diggin’ a hole.”
“Awesome. You should have hung up after that.”
Damn-it. “Damn-it.”
“I’ll call ya back when I get them, okay. The stalker’s name is Emma Ricks. I remember that from the trail. Do you know the housekeeper’s name, though?”
“Yeah, Inez Valenzuela.”
“I’m sure there can’t be too many of those in LA.” We laughed and I said thanks then concluded the call.
Now I had nothing to do but sit here in this lice-infested sand and wait.
12.
So, I saw this little huddle of baby flies swarming near the sand by where I was seated and decided that was about enough for me. I had a better idea, anyway. I stood up and walked towards the water.
“Hey Elliot,” I called out. He turned and looked. “Come here for a minute, please. Grab Wrecker, too.”
Elliot grabbed my dog and ran over to me.
“Hold on to him for a second okay, I just want to get a picture.”
“Okay, Uncle Archie!” He gave me a big smile.
“Okay, now I want you to put your head down. Don’t look at the camera.”
“Umm okay?”
He did as he was told and looked down at Wrecker so the picture didn’t capture his face. I told him thanks then yelled out to Elise that I was going to steal her car for thirty minutes. She didn’t seem to care. She was probably impressed I lasted this long.
I grabbed the keys from her bag and headed back up to civilization. On the way to the car I stopped in at Poncho’s, the local surf shop, where I quickly purchased a large straw beach hat which I would be billing to…shit…myself. Backfire.
I cruised up to the beach area’s local Wal-Mart and printed out the picture I just took and turned it
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