gathered up our things and headed for the least populated area.
I have never really been a fan of sitting on the sand, but I guess since I had to be here, sitting was better than standing. Laziness wins again.
I entrusted Wrecker to the kids and they all ran off towards the water, with my fat dog trailing way behind. Jamie and Elise followed them down to supervise. I took my phone out and dialed Detective Anderson’s cell phone.
“Hello,” he answered.
“Hey Detective, it’s Archie.”
“Hey Lemons, what’s up?”
“Well, I’ve kinda stumbled in to shit here. I’m at the beach with my sister-in-law and nephews.”
“What happened?”
“Well,” I said, “I was taking a walk along the cliff on the shoreline, and stopped to check things out through one of those telescope things they have set up.”
“Oh yeah, what’d ya find?”
“It’s not what I found, it’s what I saw.”
“Right. Well, what’d ya see?”
“Yeah so, I’m checking out these huge houses right on the cliff and below they have little stairs that go down to the beach. It is the only way down to this specific place, so I assumed I saw the owners of one of the houses. The closest house to where I was, I’m guessing. It was the only one with the lights on and any sign of life.”
“Alright,” he said, and I could tell he was getting impatient with my leisurely telling of the story. I decided to get to the point.
“So down below, on the beach, there is a man and woman. So I just kinda watch them for a second, not really expecting anything, just out of boredom. Well, after a few seconds it looks like they start getting into a little fight. The woman gets pissed and starts heading back for the stairs, but the guy picks up a rock and beats the woman to death.”
“What the fuck? Archie, are you shittin’ on me, here?”
“No!”
“So, what did the cops say? Are you in trouble or a witness or what?”
“That’s the thing. The police don’t believe me. I had stayed up all night the night before and was pretty tired. And I stood at the telescope and watch the man drag the body out into the ocean. Then he saw me.”
“The murderer saw you?”
“Yeah!”
“Oh shit. What happened?”
“I backed up and took the frak off! He was too far away to catch up but he knows someone saw.”
“So what’s with the police down there?!”
“Get this. Apparently the guy I think did this is some big time actor or some shit, who is so god-like and perfect he couldn’t ever do any wrong.”
“What’s the name?”
“Brad Jackson…?”
“Not Brad Pitt?”
“I was hoping, but no. Brad Jackson.”
“Never heard of him.”
“Well, join the club. Apparently every woman knows who he is though.”
“Oh,” he said. “One of those Hollywood prettyboys, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking.”
“Okay, so tell me what you need. I’m assuming you hired yourself for this case, right?”
“You believe me, yeah?”
“Man, if Archie Lemons says he saw something, I sure as shit am going to believe it.”
“Thank you, Detective. Tell that to the assholes in charge down here.”
“I will call them, actually.”
“Um,” I said. “That may not be a good idea. We kind of got into it with them down there and Elise blew up at the captain and told him we were going to solve this case and embarrass the fuck out of him in the process.”
“Well, right on. That’s what I like to hear.”
“But, I need your help.”
“Anything you need.”
“Apparently this guy’s wife was murdered a few years back.”
“No shit?” he asked. “Did he do it?!”
“Apparently not. He was out of the country filming some movie. He had this stalker that was really causing him trouble. Made death threats and everything. I guess when he left for his movie she broke into the house and murdered his wife. The housekeeper saw the woman on the property and went to go call the police, that’s when she discovered the body of the
I have never really been a fan of sitting on the sand, but I guess since I had to be here, sitting was better than standing. Laziness wins again.
I entrusted Wrecker to the kids and they all ran off towards the water, with my fat dog trailing way behind. Jamie and Elise followed them down to supervise. I took my phone out and dialed Detective Anderson’s cell phone.
“Hello,” he answered.
“Hey Detective, it’s Archie.”
“Hey Lemons, what’s up?”
“Well, I’ve kinda stumbled in to shit here. I’m at the beach with my sister-in-law and nephews.”
“What happened?”
“Well,” I said, “I was taking a walk along the cliff on the shoreline, and stopped to check things out through one of those telescope things they have set up.”
“Oh yeah, what’d ya find?”
“It’s not what I found, it’s what I saw.”
“Right. Well, what’d ya see?”
“Yeah so, I’m checking out these huge houses right on the cliff and below they have little stairs that go down to the beach. It is the only way down to this specific place, so I assumed I saw the owners of one of the houses. The closest house to where I was, I’m guessing. It was the only one with the lights on and any sign of life.”
“Alright,” he said, and I could tell he was getting impatient with my leisurely telling of the story. I decided to get to the point.
“So down below, on the beach, there is a man and woman. So I just kinda watch them for a second, not really expecting anything, just out of boredom. Well, after a few seconds it looks like they start getting into a little fight. The woman gets pissed and starts heading back for the stairs, but the guy picks up a rock and beats the woman to death.”
“What the fuck? Archie, are you shittin’ on me, here?”
“No!”
“So, what did the cops say? Are you in trouble or a witness or what?”
“That’s the thing. The police don’t believe me. I had stayed up all night the night before and was pretty tired. And I stood at the telescope and watch the man drag the body out into the ocean. Then he saw me.”
“The murderer saw you?”
“Yeah!”
“Oh shit. What happened?”
“I backed up and took the frak off! He was too far away to catch up but he knows someone saw.”
“So what’s with the police down there?!”
“Get this. Apparently the guy I think did this is some big time actor or some shit, who is so god-like and perfect he couldn’t ever do any wrong.”
“What’s the name?”
“Brad Jackson…?”
“Not Brad Pitt?”
“I was hoping, but no. Brad Jackson.”
“Never heard of him.”
“Well, join the club. Apparently every woman knows who he is though.”
“Oh,” he said. “One of those Hollywood prettyboys, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking.”
“Okay, so tell me what you need. I’m assuming you hired yourself for this case, right?”
“You believe me, yeah?”
“Man, if Archie Lemons says he saw something, I sure as shit am going to believe it.”
“Thank you, Detective. Tell that to the assholes in charge down here.”
“I will call them, actually.”
“Um,” I said. “That may not be a good idea. We kind of got into it with them down there and Elise blew up at the captain and told him we were going to solve this case and embarrass the fuck out of him in the process.”
“Well, right on. That’s what I like to hear.”
“But, I need your help.”
“Anything you need.”
“Apparently this guy’s wife was murdered a few years back.”
“No shit?” he asked. “Did he do it?!”
“Apparently not. He was out of the country filming some movie. He had this stalker that was really causing him trouble. Made death threats and everything. I guess when he left for his movie she broke into the house and murdered his wife. The housekeeper saw the woman on the property and went to go call the police, that’s when she discovered the body of the