laundry skills?”
I balled the leotard up in one hand and wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of my other hand. “Don’t tell him I cried about something stupid. Or anything for that matter. The last thing he needs is some emotionally distressed teenage girl to deal with twenty–four–seven.”
Oh God, did I just say that out loud?
Jordan stared at me for a long moment and then flipped an empty bucket over, sitting on it and blocking the door. “You can say it, you know? It won’t freak me out.”
Now it was my turn to be utterly confused. “Say what?”
His eyes locked with mine and I could feel the tension building. “Your parents are dead.”
I held my breath for a few seconds, waiting to feel that awful punch in the gut I’d anticipated. But it wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it’d be. “My parents are dead.”
He nodded. “That sucks.”
I felt a few more tears trickle out, but I was too distracted by the conversation to wipe them away. “Yeah, it totally sucks. Today, even more so than other days.”
Jordan tugged at the leotard in my hand, freeing it from my grip and holding it up like a question.
“My mom got it for me for my birthday.”
“Before she died,” he finished.
“Before she died,” I repeated and then said the worst part over again, “because my parents are dead.”
“Say it one more time,” Jordan said. “It will get a little easier tomorrow and then we don’t have to tap–dance around the great big elephant in the room.”
“My parents are dead,” I said again and for some reason I started laughing. More like crying and laughing at the same time.
Jordan stood up again and let me exit the laundry room, following me. “So, I’m guessing you’re not really sick? My dad called and said to check on you. See if you needed me to clean up vomit.”
“That was nice of him. He gives you all the best chores.”
“No kidding,” Jordan grumbled. “You aren’t going to barf, are you?”
“Between you and me—no. But—”
“If my dad asks, it was coming out of every opening possible,” Jordan finished.
I wrinkled my nose. “Eh, thanks?”
Mom,
I just said it out loud. I can’t believe how real it felt. And now my leotard is ruined because I have no clue how to do laundry. Well, I must have some clue because it didn’t take long to figure out that I probably should have separated the light and the dark clothes. Why didn’t you teach me any of this stuff? Did you anticipate being around all the time? Are you invincible? Obviously not. Don’t you think it might have been a good idea to teach me certain important life skills like laundry? If you had, I wouldn’t have ruined my birthday present. I wouldn’t have had to stand in Coach Bentley’s laundry room crying. What if Jordan tells his dad and then Bentley decides that he can’t handle me and sends me to Grandma’s?
Love, Karen
Jordan,
Thank you for making me say it out loud. Your mom is gone, right? What happened? Did you know her very well or were you too young when she died?
––Karen
List for Jackie—Possible reasons Coach Bentley let me live with him
It’s much easier to have 4 elites in the gym than 3…odd numbers are terrible for partnering during conditioning. The coach always has to pair up with one of us.
His chances of getting an athlete on the World Championship Team are doubled if I stick around.
Stevie could decide to retire again any day now and he’d only have two kids to coach.
He needed someone around to tattle on Jordan.
***
“I’m making spaghetti. Do you want any?” Jordan asked after finding me in the kitchen writing in my notebook.
I snapped the book shut before he caught a glimpse of my list or any of the letters. “What should I do?”
He dug for a big pot under the sink and then turned to face me. “About dinner?”
“About the fact that your dad’s going to be home in the next two hours expecting me to be violently ill.” I couldn’t
I balled the leotard up in one hand and wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of my other hand. “Don’t tell him I cried about something stupid. Or anything for that matter. The last thing he needs is some emotionally distressed teenage girl to deal with twenty–four–seven.”
Oh God, did I just say that out loud?
Jordan stared at me for a long moment and then flipped an empty bucket over, sitting on it and blocking the door. “You can say it, you know? It won’t freak me out.”
Now it was my turn to be utterly confused. “Say what?”
His eyes locked with mine and I could feel the tension building. “Your parents are dead.”
I held my breath for a few seconds, waiting to feel that awful punch in the gut I’d anticipated. But it wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it’d be. “My parents are dead.”
He nodded. “That sucks.”
I felt a few more tears trickle out, but I was too distracted by the conversation to wipe them away. “Yeah, it totally sucks. Today, even more so than other days.”
Jordan tugged at the leotard in my hand, freeing it from my grip and holding it up like a question.
“My mom got it for me for my birthday.”
“Before she died,” he finished.
“Before she died,” I repeated and then said the worst part over again, “because my parents are dead.”
“Say it one more time,” Jordan said. “It will get a little easier tomorrow and then we don’t have to tap–dance around the great big elephant in the room.”
“My parents are dead,” I said again and for some reason I started laughing. More like crying and laughing at the same time.
Jordan stood up again and let me exit the laundry room, following me. “So, I’m guessing you’re not really sick? My dad called and said to check on you. See if you needed me to clean up vomit.”
“That was nice of him. He gives you all the best chores.”
“No kidding,” Jordan grumbled. “You aren’t going to barf, are you?”
“Between you and me—no. But—”
“If my dad asks, it was coming out of every opening possible,” Jordan finished.
I wrinkled my nose. “Eh, thanks?”
Mom,
I just said it out loud. I can’t believe how real it felt. And now my leotard is ruined because I have no clue how to do laundry. Well, I must have some clue because it didn’t take long to figure out that I probably should have separated the light and the dark clothes. Why didn’t you teach me any of this stuff? Did you anticipate being around all the time? Are you invincible? Obviously not. Don’t you think it might have been a good idea to teach me certain important life skills like laundry? If you had, I wouldn’t have ruined my birthday present. I wouldn’t have had to stand in Coach Bentley’s laundry room crying. What if Jordan tells his dad and then Bentley decides that he can’t handle me and sends me to Grandma’s?
Love, Karen
Jordan,
Thank you for making me say it out loud. Your mom is gone, right? What happened? Did you know her very well or were you too young when she died?
––Karen
List for Jackie—Possible reasons Coach Bentley let me live with him
It’s much easier to have 4 elites in the gym than 3…odd numbers are terrible for partnering during conditioning. The coach always has to pair up with one of us.
His chances of getting an athlete on the World Championship Team are doubled if I stick around.
Stevie could decide to retire again any day now and he’d only have two kids to coach.
He needed someone around to tattle on Jordan.
***
“I’m making spaghetti. Do you want any?” Jordan asked after finding me in the kitchen writing in my notebook.
I snapped the book shut before he caught a glimpse of my list or any of the letters. “What should I do?”
He dug for a big pot under the sink and then turned to face me. “About dinner?”
“About the fact that your dad’s going to be home in the next two hours expecting me to be violently ill.” I couldn’t
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