Letting Go (Vista Falls #3) by Cheryl Douglas Page A

“So you wanna know why I’m here? That’s why. What’s your excuse?”
    Rush sighed as he sat beside Colt, gesturing to Colt’s bottle as he held up one finger to the bartender. “Taylor had a grief meeting at the church, so I drove her in for it. She’s sometimes upset after those things, and I didn’t want her driving.”
    “Yeah, I heard about what happened to her. Man, that’s rough.” Colt couldn’t even imagine what Rush’s girlfriend had endured, losing her husband and two children in a car accident.
    “Yeah, it is. But I think she’s getting a little better every day. I’m doing what I can to help her through it.” When the bartender set his beer down, Rush muttered his thanks before asking Colt, “So who’s helping you?”
    “I don’t need any help, buddy.”
    “Is that what you keep telling yourself?” Rush took a sip of his beer before giving Colt a long, hard look. “My brother told me you’ve been shutting him down every time he reaches out to you. You think you can push him away too, make him stop caring about you?”
    “That’s not what I’m trying to do.”
    “Bullshit.”
    Like his brother, Rush had no problem calling it like he saw it. Colt usually admired that quality in his friends… but not tonight. Tonight he wanted to go on pretending that everything was fine. That he was fine.
    “If you expect me to try and convince you—”
    “I expect you to get your head out of your ass and quit lying to yourself, man.”
    “You don’t know—”
    “What I know is that you have friends who care about you and an amazing woman who may be willing to give you a second chance. That means you should be hitting the ground and thanking God for your blessings, not sitting here getting drunk.”
    “I’m no good for her.” Colt rested the mouth of the bottle against his lips, thinking he would give anything if it could be Gabby’s mouth instead.
    “You don’t get to decide that. She does.”
    “Yeah, well, sometimes when you love someone, you have to save them from themselves.”
    “So you admit you love her?”
    “I…” Trying to deny it, to Rush or himself, was pointless. “Always have, I guess. Probably always will.”
    “Taylor taught me a really important lesson through her loss.”
    Colt had to assume that the lady’s loss had taught her a lot of hard lessons. “Oh yeah, what’s that?”
    “That we don’t always get a second chance.”
    Colt sucked air in through his teeth. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out where his friend was going with this. “And you think I should be grateful that Gabby is willing to give me one? Yeah, I heard you the first time.”
    “No, I don’t think you did. ‘Cause if you’d heard me, your ass would be in a cab on your way to her place by now.”
    If only it was as easy as Rush made it sound. “It’s not that I don’t want her. Believe me, I do.”
    “Then what’s stopping you?” Rush asked, frustration lacing his voice.
    “I’m not a good guy, you know.”
    “What?”
    Admitting the truth to people who thought they knew him, especially those who considered him a friend, wasn’t easy for Colt. “I’ve done some bad things, hurt a lot of people. Physically, emotionally. You name it, I’ve done it.”
    “I’m listening,” Rush said, folding his arms. “Tell me why you don’t deserve Gabby. Who knows? After I’ve heard it all, maybe I’ll agree.”
    Colt didn’t know how he’d feel if his friend concurred that Gabby was way too good for him. Maybe it would make him feel worse, or maybe it would validate his decision to let her go. “I’ve used a lot of women. Made them think there was a chance I’d come around to their way of thinking about a relationship even though I knew the chances of it getting past sex were slim to none.”
    “Haven’t we all?” Rush asked, smirking. “Go on. What else have you done that’s so terrible?”
    “Beat the shit out of guys who probably didn’t deserve