it.”
Rush smiled around his beer. “Uh huh. Welcome to the club.”
“I’ve lied, cheated, betrayed people who cared about me.” Listing his sins made him sick inside.
“You ever cheat on Gabby, lie to her?”
“No, but—”
“You ever betray her?”
“No, I haven’t.” Except maybe when he left without explaining why he had to go. Twice.
“How about my brother? You ever lie to him, betray him?”
“No.”
“Then you are capable of being honest and trustworthy when it’s someone you love?”
“I don’t know, man.” Colt pressed the pads of his thumb and forefinger into his burning eyes. “I don’t know much of anything anymore.”
“But you know you love Gabby?”
“Yeah, that much I do know.” It was one of the few things he was certain about.
“Then why aren’t you willing to fight for her?”
“Because I don’t have the right.” His mind raced with all of the thoughts he’d had before moving back to Vista Falls, all the nights he’d imagined spending with Gabby and things he wanted to do with her and for her.
“Does this have something to do with your father?”
Colt always felt a tightness in his chest whenever he thought about Colt Sr. The fact that he shared that bastard’s DNA and his name made him sick. “I guess you could say that.”
“You’re not him, you know.” Rush’s voice was quiet as he leaned in, forcing Colt to strain to hear him. “I know he was a bad dude. I get that. But you’re nothing like him.”
“Really? Everything I just told you, all the shit I’ve done… where do you think I learned it?”
“I think you’re angry,” Rush said. “Angry because you believe you inherited his worst traits, but that’s just your fear talking.”
“You don’t know.”
No one could understand unless they’d lived with a monster like that. Colt had watched his father bully and demoralize people all of his life…starting with his own family. His temper was legendary in their small town. Everyone knew not to cross Colt Atkins Sr., especially when he was drunk.
“I may not know what it was like to live under that roof…” Rush swallowed. “I may not know what it did to you, having to face people after your father had been on drunken rampage and torn up the town. But I do know that no one ever blamed you for his actions. Not then and certainly not now.”
Colt was a mirror image of his father. No one could look at him without thinking of that menace. “I appreciate you saying that, but you don’t know what it was like to go to school on Monday and listen to everyone, including the teachers, talk about what that crazy old bastard did.”
“It must have sucked,” Rush conceded. “But I see the way people look at you now. I hear what they say about you. They’re proud of you, of all that you and Wes have accomplished.”
“I have no doubt they’re proud of Wes. He’s always been the golden boy.” Colt hated the bitterness he heard in his voice, but he always sounded like that after a few too many. All the hate he’d been bottling up just seeped out.
“You’re jealous of my brother?” Rush asked, sounding surprised.
“No, shit, no. Wes deserves all the good he’s got. The business. Sage. His son. He deserves it all.”
“And you don’t? Is that what you’re saying?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying.” Colt pushed himself to his feet, disappointed when he didn’t even stagger. Oh well, he had more beer at his place. “All I know is I’m sick of the sound of my own voice, and you’ve got to be sick of it too.”
“Colt.”
After peeling a few bills off the roll in his pocket and tossing them on the bar, Colt said, “Yeah, man?”
“You’re better than you think you are. I just hope you realize that before Gabby decides to give up on you… for good.”
***
“Hey, Jules,” Gabby said with a smile when one of her favorite regulars walked into her flower shop. Juliette had been her friend in high
Rush smiled around his beer. “Uh huh. Welcome to the club.”
“I’ve lied, cheated, betrayed people who cared about me.” Listing his sins made him sick inside.
“You ever cheat on Gabby, lie to her?”
“No, but—”
“You ever betray her?”
“No, I haven’t.” Except maybe when he left without explaining why he had to go. Twice.
“How about my brother? You ever lie to him, betray him?”
“No.”
“Then you are capable of being honest and trustworthy when it’s someone you love?”
“I don’t know, man.” Colt pressed the pads of his thumb and forefinger into his burning eyes. “I don’t know much of anything anymore.”
“But you know you love Gabby?”
“Yeah, that much I do know.” It was one of the few things he was certain about.
“Then why aren’t you willing to fight for her?”
“Because I don’t have the right.” His mind raced with all of the thoughts he’d had before moving back to Vista Falls, all the nights he’d imagined spending with Gabby and things he wanted to do with her and for her.
“Does this have something to do with your father?”
Colt always felt a tightness in his chest whenever he thought about Colt Sr. The fact that he shared that bastard’s DNA and his name made him sick. “I guess you could say that.”
“You’re not him, you know.” Rush’s voice was quiet as he leaned in, forcing Colt to strain to hear him. “I know he was a bad dude. I get that. But you’re nothing like him.”
“Really? Everything I just told you, all the shit I’ve done… where do you think I learned it?”
“I think you’re angry,” Rush said. “Angry because you believe you inherited his worst traits, but that’s just your fear talking.”
“You don’t know.”
No one could understand unless they’d lived with a monster like that. Colt had watched his father bully and demoralize people all of his life…starting with his own family. His temper was legendary in their small town. Everyone knew not to cross Colt Atkins Sr., especially when he was drunk.
“I may not know what it was like to live under that roof…” Rush swallowed. “I may not know what it did to you, having to face people after your father had been on drunken rampage and torn up the town. But I do know that no one ever blamed you for his actions. Not then and certainly not now.”
Colt was a mirror image of his father. No one could look at him without thinking of that menace. “I appreciate you saying that, but you don’t know what it was like to go to school on Monday and listen to everyone, including the teachers, talk about what that crazy old bastard did.”
“It must have sucked,” Rush conceded. “But I see the way people look at you now. I hear what they say about you. They’re proud of you, of all that you and Wes have accomplished.”
“I have no doubt they’re proud of Wes. He’s always been the golden boy.” Colt hated the bitterness he heard in his voice, but he always sounded like that after a few too many. All the hate he’d been bottling up just seeped out.
“You’re jealous of my brother?” Rush asked, sounding surprised.
“No, shit, no. Wes deserves all the good he’s got. The business. Sage. His son. He deserves it all.”
“And you don’t? Is that what you’re saying?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying.” Colt pushed himself to his feet, disappointed when he didn’t even stagger. Oh well, he had more beer at his place. “All I know is I’m sick of the sound of my own voice, and you’ve got to be sick of it too.”
“Colt.”
After peeling a few bills off the roll in his pocket and tossing them on the bar, Colt said, “Yeah, man?”
“You’re better than you think you are. I just hope you realize that before Gabby decides to give up on you… for good.”
***
“Hey, Jules,” Gabby said with a smile when one of her favorite regulars walked into her flower shop. Juliette had been her friend in high
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