Libertine's Wife by Karolyn Cairns

edge of the divan. The enormity of what
she’d done finally assailed her. She had to live with what she did
now, recalling Julian’s furious words when he tried to talk her out
of this. Thinking of all the reasons for why she went through with
it made her tense.
    Giving into Julian seemed like the most
natural thing in the world, confidant they would marry soon. The
night he snuck into her room and took her virginity with aching
tenderness was etched upon her memory. Thoughts of him made her
eyes grow soft and dreamy to recall how he wooed her, wearing down
her protestations they should wait until after they
married.
    They met in secret a few times after
that night at the hunting lodge behind Vale House. She blushed to
recall those hours they lay abed, making plans they had no right to
make. Reality raised its ugly head when Edmund St. Ives was found
dead at his home in London.
    Julian learned quickly his family was
impoverished. Lady Vale found the means to rectify the matter
within the month. She learned from an acquaintance in town the rich
merchant Silas Penworthy sought a title for his daughter, willing
to buy one, if need be.
    The dowager paid her a visit prior to
her leaving for London. The lady informed her in no mincing words
of Julian’s obligation to wed the rich merchant’s daughter. Lady
Adeline St. Ives was a force to be reckoned with. Her flashing dark
eyes missed nothing. She leapt upon every weakness she could find
to get Arianne to relinquish Julian.
    Sipping her tea, the lady told her how
bad the situation really was, smug to see her words hit home. By
the end of the visit, Arianne was determined Julian would wed
Penworthy’s daughter too. She loved him enough to let him go. It
was best for everyone involved. Her shame to know she aided her
brother’s despicable actions aside, she did it for the man she
loved.
    Julian deserved better than to be
mocked for his poverty. She thought of how the nobles all laughed
at him behind his back. He was observed stealing food from the
buffet tables at many events. He only went out of necessity, having
no idea how he was ridiculed throughout the ton for it. Eustace
enjoyed telling her how her lover was ridiculed. It was said that
when Lord Vale was in attendance, one needed only to count the
bread rolls when he left, not the silver. Thoughts of his
humiliation made her eyes grow murky. She felt sick at that moment,
overwhelmed by all that happened that day.
    Arianne got up and ran to the chamber
pot, dry heaves keeping her bent over when a knock was heard at the
door. She returned to the divan on shaking legs. A maid came in
with a tea tray and frowned at her pale features.
    “ Are ye alright, Lady
Ravensford?” the maid introduced as Molly asked, her plain features
composed in concern. “Ye don’t appear well at all, mum.”
    “ It’s merely nerves, Molly,”
Arianne replied stiffly, wanting to cry as she leaned back to
soothe her rolling stomach. Molly left her and she sipped her tea
as her bags and trunk arrived. Molly put her gowns and her other
things away and saw about her bath.
    Arianne closed her eyes and dreaded the
coming evening. How could she sit across and dine from Ravensford?
How could she pretend like she wasn’t terrified of what was to
follow? She felt dismay to think of his laying one hand upon
her.
    Molly woke her when the water arrived
for her bath. Arianne couldn’t complain of her bed. She hadn’t
slept so well in the days leading up to the ceremony. Conflicting
doubts of what she was doing assailed her at all hours. The guilt
ate at her and denied her rest.
    Arianne bathed and Molly picked out a
dress for her. It was a faded lavender silk gown and modest enough.
Molly tied her corset tightly. She swayed and thought she would run
to the chamber pot again.
    She avoided her own eyes in the mirror
as the maid did her hair. Her self-loathing made her unable to
stomach the sight of herself. All the reasons she did this came to
mind; good