Life Begins by Taki James

be.”
                  “So she should not seek another marriage because this one has ended? She has babies, not school kids, not teenagers.” Josie knew that was a direct jab at most if not all the people in the room. She knew for a fact that some of the men in the group weren’t direct caregivers to their children, but they came to the group looking for women who were, in order to take advantage of them. It had caused more than one young mother to leave the group. Some had even warned her about joining.
                  But, she hadn’t thought that it would make a difference because she knew that she needed the support. None of her friends had ever been married, so she lost them. No one other than these people had children in her circle, so she had no one she could ask about being a single mother. She didn’t want to join the single mother’s group because most of those girls had never been married, so it wasn’t the same circumstances. It amazed her how much she allowed herself to defend Žarko, simply because he allowed her to do what she wanted.
                  She had no idea how the rest of the conversation ended, but one thing she knew for sure, no else had a word to say about her feelings and life choices. She tuned back in long enough to have Žarko deflect his discussion about his own life. And for some reason, everyone else seemed to have little to say, which allowed the leaders to go into their talk and discussion questions.
                  Josie didn’t feel the need to comment on what it meant to be triumphant as a single person. She didn’t really feel victorious. She felt tired and shaky, like she was trying to fool herself and others. Maybe Žarko was right, she wasn’t someone meant to be independent. But then, in a world like this, someone like her had to be really careful about everything. She didn’t want to fall back into a bad relationship with another man.
                  Like the last time, Žarko decided when it was time for them to leave. This time she had prepared for it and had made sure that Jane finished her feeding before he was ready. Jason had already gone to sleep and lay in the pack in play in the corner, while the girls played a game of Old Maid. As she and Žarko had the only children, the moment she went to feed Jane, she sent the young woman home after giving her a tip for a job well done.
                  Then, when Žarko entered the nursery area, his girls quietly put on their coats and other winter wear. Josie finished putting Jane in her baby bunting and then strapped her into her seat while he dealt with her son. Žarko moved fast, but that was something that she learned to expect and learned not to allow it to worry her. Instead, she set her concentration to the next day, when she would have to start taking the girls to school and setting up an organized schedule that wouldn’t drive her crazy. She was excited about the possibilities.
     
     
                  Her first morning as a nanny/housewife saw her awake early to a knock on her apartment door from none other than Žarko, asking her if she planned to make breakfast for the girls. She stumbled from her apartment to his, expecting that he would take care of bringing her two since they were sleeping and she was supposed to do all the cooking.
                  Both of his girls were awake and getting ready for the day, so Josie thought it best to keep their breakfast simple, yet something that would stick with them. What they ended up with was egg sandwiches, two for Žarko. She then scrambled some eggs for Jason and made instant oatmeal for him to eat. She managed to finish everything just in time for the girls to sit at the table and for their father to come strolling through the door with a yawning toddler and a still sleeping infant.
                  Once everyone took a seat, she fixed lunch for the girls to