wrong with what I was doing?”
“Nothing, I guess, if you’re trying to get the codes to the spy satellite from ‘zee Germans.’ But you don’t really need to bust out the thumb-screws and waterboarding for a couple of phones.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“Anka, poor Daryl back there was about to wet his pants. You’re intimidating when you put your mind to it.”
For some reason she blushed at that.
“I’m not all that intimidating, am I?”
“Well, not right now, but when you get all up in Daryl’s face it’s kind of scary. It’s like you flip a switch and go into attack mode or something. You did it when the Cubano twins were chasing us and you did it again when you were kicking my ass.”
“Oh.”
For some reason she looked sad, like a puppy who’s lost his favorite chew toy and just gave up looking.
“It’s not a bad thing, not all the time. We really needed Robo-Anka when people were chasing us and shooting at us. But we don’t need that all the time. I just talked to Daryl the way I like to be talked to: like a human being. Have you never worked in a service job?”
“No, I was recruited from college by my boss. I went straight from graduation into training.”
“Ah, that explains it. You should be a barista for a while. It’ll give you a whole new insight into how humans work. I think that everyone in the world should be required to work in either customer service or food service at least once in their lives. The world would be a better place for it.”
With no warning or explanation, she leaned across the table and kissed me on the cheek. Then she picked up her pretzel and started eating it, and completely ignoring me as I tried to figure out what just happened.
After staring at her eating her pretzel for a few minutes, I gave up and started eating mine. We sat silently watching the people in the mall. I wondered what they were up to. Here we were, sitting silently and preparing to infiltrate a secret research facility by using my special powers. Were there any other spy-super-power plotters in the mall today?
Anka finished her pretzel, meticulously wiped her fingers and checked the phone batteries.
“They’re only at about fifty percent. We should let them get a full charge before we head off to OHSU.”
“We also need to set them up first.”
“What? Can’t we just, you know, use them?”
“Haven’t you ever had a smart phone before?”
“Only the one my boss gave me, and it was set up before they handed it to me.”
“What was it?”
“A phone. What do you mean?”
“You know, was it an iPhone, an Android…?”
“I don’t know, it just had icons for the stuff I needed to do.”
“Wow, for a super-secret spy you’re hopeless with technology.”
“Well, sorry for not living up to your expectations of what a super-secret spy should be.”
I was losing a battle here that I didn’t even know existed until I started losing it. I decided to try a smile and a subject change.
“So how are we going to gather the information from the lab?”
“Good question. We can’t take anything with us. My boss will be going through things as soon as he hears that we’re dead. We have to leave it all where it is. I suppose we could take pictures with these phones. They’ll do that much won’t they?”
“Yeah, that’ll work fine. Then how do we get out? Do we just walk away?”
“That’s the plan. No one should suspect that we’re in there, so it should work out fine.”
“Just like everything else has?”
“Hey, it’s not my fault that people have been trying to kill us. I’m the one that’s trying to keep you alive.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Damn right I’m right.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, which earned me a glare at first, but then Anka broke down and laughed with me.
“So, are there any videos I should be watching to get ready for all this? I’ve done a lot of the MMA stuff. Anything else that you can think
“Nothing, I guess, if you’re trying to get the codes to the spy satellite from ‘zee Germans.’ But you don’t really need to bust out the thumb-screws and waterboarding for a couple of phones.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“Anka, poor Daryl back there was about to wet his pants. You’re intimidating when you put your mind to it.”
For some reason she blushed at that.
“I’m not all that intimidating, am I?”
“Well, not right now, but when you get all up in Daryl’s face it’s kind of scary. It’s like you flip a switch and go into attack mode or something. You did it when the Cubano twins were chasing us and you did it again when you were kicking my ass.”
“Oh.”
For some reason she looked sad, like a puppy who’s lost his favorite chew toy and just gave up looking.
“It’s not a bad thing, not all the time. We really needed Robo-Anka when people were chasing us and shooting at us. But we don’t need that all the time. I just talked to Daryl the way I like to be talked to: like a human being. Have you never worked in a service job?”
“No, I was recruited from college by my boss. I went straight from graduation into training.”
“Ah, that explains it. You should be a barista for a while. It’ll give you a whole new insight into how humans work. I think that everyone in the world should be required to work in either customer service or food service at least once in their lives. The world would be a better place for it.”
With no warning or explanation, she leaned across the table and kissed me on the cheek. Then she picked up her pretzel and started eating it, and completely ignoring me as I tried to figure out what just happened.
After staring at her eating her pretzel for a few minutes, I gave up and started eating mine. We sat silently watching the people in the mall. I wondered what they were up to. Here we were, sitting silently and preparing to infiltrate a secret research facility by using my special powers. Were there any other spy-super-power plotters in the mall today?
Anka finished her pretzel, meticulously wiped her fingers and checked the phone batteries.
“They’re only at about fifty percent. We should let them get a full charge before we head off to OHSU.”
“We also need to set them up first.”
“What? Can’t we just, you know, use them?”
“Haven’t you ever had a smart phone before?”
“Only the one my boss gave me, and it was set up before they handed it to me.”
“What was it?”
“A phone. What do you mean?”
“You know, was it an iPhone, an Android…?”
“I don’t know, it just had icons for the stuff I needed to do.”
“Wow, for a super-secret spy you’re hopeless with technology.”
“Well, sorry for not living up to your expectations of what a super-secret spy should be.”
I was losing a battle here that I didn’t even know existed until I started losing it. I decided to try a smile and a subject change.
“So how are we going to gather the information from the lab?”
“Good question. We can’t take anything with us. My boss will be going through things as soon as he hears that we’re dead. We have to leave it all where it is. I suppose we could take pictures with these phones. They’ll do that much won’t they?”
“Yeah, that’ll work fine. Then how do we get out? Do we just walk away?”
“That’s the plan. No one should suspect that we’re in there, so it should work out fine.”
“Just like everything else has?”
“Hey, it’s not my fault that people have been trying to kill us. I’m the one that’s trying to keep you alive.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Damn right I’m right.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, which earned me a glare at first, but then Anka broke down and laughed with me.
“So, are there any videos I should be watching to get ready for all this? I’ve done a lot of the MMA stuff. Anything else that you can think
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