execution. He had cast a spell. One of protection. He told me you were going to be the most powerful earth witch born in centuries.” My brother sighed and slouched down in the chair. “I yelled at him. Thought he didnt love me since he was getting himself killed for you. But that wasnt true at all. If he hadnt been caught by another member of the Dominion, your mother wouldnt have said a word. She knew what she carried.”
“A monster,” I whispered.
“An angel.”
I snorted at him.
He smiled. “My dad gave me his power upon his death. Told me to protect you.”
So I was a burden. Damn. Some poor kids dads last request.
“My mom brought me to the hospital when you were born. I hadnt even been allowed in when shed had Hanna. But Tanaka had called for me. Let me hold you that first day. I wanted to keep you. Even begged my mom to take you home with us. We couldnt, of course. You were Tanakas.”
“She didnt want me either.”
“Seemed that way when you got older. When you were little, she never let you out of her sight. After that incident with the puppy, I tried to get custody of you. Pleading to the courts that you were undernourished and too small for your age, signs of abuse. They denied my claim. She sent you to military school.”
And we all knew how that turned out. “I want to go home. Does Gabe still want me?”
“Of course he wants you. You dont stop loving someone just because they are having a hard time with things. Its light out. Hed be here if he could.” Jamie sat stiff in his chair. How long would they wait?
“I cant have sex with him. Did he tell you that?”
“No. But it doesnt surprise me. You were raped.” Jamie sounded so calm, like hed been through this sort of thing before. At least he didnt appear to be hurting anymore.
“I asked Brock to do it.”
“So youd have a chance to survive. We all know what happened, Seiran.”
Tears stung my eyes. I swallowed them back and looked away. “Can you call Dr. Tynsen? We can have our session here. Doesnt matter where I am to talk, right?”
Though Id begun to suspect that all the talking in the world wasnt going to fix whatever as wrong with me. The nightmares were getting worse, not better. Every time someone glanced in my direction it felt like a sneer. Seeing a psychiatrist was supposed to help my paranoia, not add to it.
“What was in the package?” I asked, suddenly remembering it. Gabe had been gone a long time when that had arrived.
A look of indecision crossed Jamies face. Finally he said, “It was just a piece of hate mail. Letters and angry words. Nothing you needed to see. Gabe reported it to the police, which is why it took so long for him to get back to you. If he had known what you were doing—”
“I was cleaning.”
“Seiran, Gabes place is immaculate. He keeps it clean because he knows how your OCD works. Ive gotten in the habit, too, but this time you threw us both for a loop.”
“It makes my head hurt less sometimes.”
“Cleaning?”
“Keeping busy.”
He paused, seeming to think for a while, then said, “Your doctor told me to ask you about Matthew.”
“No.”
“No, what?”
“I dont want to talk to you about Matthew.”
“Why?”
I closed my eyes. The truth was I didnt want him to hate me. Jamie would think I was tainted, dirty, unlovable, if he knew. Anyone who was halfway intelligent would. Why Gabe still loved me when he knew, was a mystery. I guess telling Jamie now would give me more time to get over his rejection.
“He was my first lover. And treated me like a whore. Brought other men to my bed because without them I bored him. I was eleven when it started, fourteen when it ended. Do you need to hear more?”
Jamie brushed the hair out of my face, looking sad but surprisingly not disgusted. “Sounds like he was a real bastard.”
“I loved him. Or at least thought I did. It was so long ago now.”
“Do you feel the same way toward Gabe?”
Did I? Not really. Gabe had really become the other half of
“A monster,” I whispered.
“An angel.”
I snorted at him.
He smiled. “My dad gave me his power upon his death. Told me to protect you.”
So I was a burden. Damn. Some poor kids dads last request.
“My mom brought me to the hospital when you were born. I hadnt even been allowed in when shed had Hanna. But Tanaka had called for me. Let me hold you that first day. I wanted to keep you. Even begged my mom to take you home with us. We couldnt, of course. You were Tanakas.”
“She didnt want me either.”
“Seemed that way when you got older. When you were little, she never let you out of her sight. After that incident with the puppy, I tried to get custody of you. Pleading to the courts that you were undernourished and too small for your age, signs of abuse. They denied my claim. She sent you to military school.”
And we all knew how that turned out. “I want to go home. Does Gabe still want me?”
“Of course he wants you. You dont stop loving someone just because they are having a hard time with things. Its light out. Hed be here if he could.” Jamie sat stiff in his chair. How long would they wait?
“I cant have sex with him. Did he tell you that?”
“No. But it doesnt surprise me. You were raped.” Jamie sounded so calm, like hed been through this sort of thing before. At least he didnt appear to be hurting anymore.
“I asked Brock to do it.”
“So youd have a chance to survive. We all know what happened, Seiran.”
Tears stung my eyes. I swallowed them back and looked away. “Can you call Dr. Tynsen? We can have our session here. Doesnt matter where I am to talk, right?”
Though Id begun to suspect that all the talking in the world wasnt going to fix whatever as wrong with me. The nightmares were getting worse, not better. Every time someone glanced in my direction it felt like a sneer. Seeing a psychiatrist was supposed to help my paranoia, not add to it.
“What was in the package?” I asked, suddenly remembering it. Gabe had been gone a long time when that had arrived.
A look of indecision crossed Jamies face. Finally he said, “It was just a piece of hate mail. Letters and angry words. Nothing you needed to see. Gabe reported it to the police, which is why it took so long for him to get back to you. If he had known what you were doing—”
“I was cleaning.”
“Seiran, Gabes place is immaculate. He keeps it clean because he knows how your OCD works. Ive gotten in the habit, too, but this time you threw us both for a loop.”
“It makes my head hurt less sometimes.”
“Cleaning?”
“Keeping busy.”
He paused, seeming to think for a while, then said, “Your doctor told me to ask you about Matthew.”
“No.”
“No, what?”
“I dont want to talk to you about Matthew.”
“Why?”
I closed my eyes. The truth was I didnt want him to hate me. Jamie would think I was tainted, dirty, unlovable, if he knew. Anyone who was halfway intelligent would. Why Gabe still loved me when he knew, was a mystery. I guess telling Jamie now would give me more time to get over his rejection.
“He was my first lover. And treated me like a whore. Brought other men to my bed because without them I bored him. I was eleven when it started, fourteen when it ended. Do you need to hear more?”
Jamie brushed the hair out of my face, looking sad but surprisingly not disgusted. “Sounds like he was a real bastard.”
“I loved him. Or at least thought I did. It was so long ago now.”
“Do you feel the same way toward Gabe?”
Did I? Not really. Gabe had really become the other half of
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