called me the day before the operation. He said, Shep, I’d appreciate it if you’d drop by my office this afternoon, if you have the time.
I said, What for?
I’d just like for us to have a talk before I perform surgery on your daughter, he told me.
I said, I don’t have anything to talk about. This is Vivi Abbott’s doing. Don’t call me up again, hear?
The day they cut on Siddalee’s eye, I went out to the duck camp. I cleared and burned some brush. Then I started drinking and cooked a duck gumbo with some birds I had in the deep freeze. I didn’t call, didn’t go back to town, didn’t do a thing. Viviane couldn’t get in touch with me and I didn’t want her to.
I stayed gone the whole time Sidda was in the hospital. I didn’t go up to St. Cecilia’s at all. Drove in from the camp to do a little farming, then drove back out there to sleep. Didn’t come back until she was home.
They’d set her up in the four-poster bed like she was a little princess. When I got there, her Aunt Jezie was reading Black Beauty out loud to her, and I could smell Buggy cooking some peanut-butter fudge. And there was Siddalee. Sitting up in that bed, wearing this little pink satin bed jacket one of the aunts had bought her. Her eyes bandaged from ear to ear. Nothing but white gauze.
I stood at the doorway looking at her, and Jezie just kept on reading, like I wasn’t even there. My daughterdidn’t flinch, didn’t have a clue that I was anywhere around. At one point while Jezie was reading, Siddalee asked her to stop for a minute and I thought, Maybe Sidda knows I’m here.
But she just laid there still for a minute, then said: Aunt Jezie, would you read that part over again?
I wish Sidda would of sensed me, would of smelled me. Would of known I was near, even though she couldn’t see me. But then I’m always expecting too much from the girl, wanting her to know things she can’t see. That’s not one of the things I’m proud of, it’s something I wish I could rip up out of the ground.
I’d bought her some of these velveteen headbands from Bordelon’s Drugstore. I remember standing there in the store, thinking: She can rub her hands on the velvet and feel it, even though her eyes are bandaged. I got the salesgirl to gift-wrap them.
I wanted to walk the four steps over to my daughter propped up in that bed and say: Hey, Red! Here’s a strawberry-colored headband. I know you can’t see it, but just rub your hand on it. Feel? It’s gonna look so pretty against that long hair of yours.
But I never walked over to Siddalee laying there in the bed. I just stood right inside the doorway of the living room for a minute, then turned around and walked out.
Buggy and Jezie Abbott both moved into the house to help Viviane with the kids. They were camped out in the kids’ schoolroom, but their stuff was spread out everywhere. You could smell them all over the place.And Buggy had brought Miss Peppy, that rat of a dog, with her. It wasn’t my house anymore.
I left the headbands on the kitchen table and went out and checked on some business at the cotton gin. When I got back home that evening, Vivi was sitting at the kitchen counter talking on the phone, describing Sidda’s operation blow-by-blow to one of the Ya-Yas, like she’d been the one that got cut on. I walked in to look at Siddalee in the living room. It looked like she was asleep, but I couldn’t be sure with those bandages.
Before I knew it, Vivi slammed down the phone and flew into the room. She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out into the living room.
What do you think you are doing? she said.
Peeking at Sidda, I told her.
You put all the responsibility on me, she said. And I don’t want you anywhere near that child now. You stay out of there. Don’t you lay a finger on her! I don’t even want you talking to her, do you understand me?
I had deliberately not taken a single drink. Wanted to come home sober, wanted to see Siddalee
I said, What for?
I’d just like for us to have a talk before I perform surgery on your daughter, he told me.
I said, I don’t have anything to talk about. This is Vivi Abbott’s doing. Don’t call me up again, hear?
The day they cut on Siddalee’s eye, I went out to the duck camp. I cleared and burned some brush. Then I started drinking and cooked a duck gumbo with some birds I had in the deep freeze. I didn’t call, didn’t go back to town, didn’t do a thing. Viviane couldn’t get in touch with me and I didn’t want her to.
I stayed gone the whole time Sidda was in the hospital. I didn’t go up to St. Cecilia’s at all. Drove in from the camp to do a little farming, then drove back out there to sleep. Didn’t come back until she was home.
They’d set her up in the four-poster bed like she was a little princess. When I got there, her Aunt Jezie was reading Black Beauty out loud to her, and I could smell Buggy cooking some peanut-butter fudge. And there was Siddalee. Sitting up in that bed, wearing this little pink satin bed jacket one of the aunts had bought her. Her eyes bandaged from ear to ear. Nothing but white gauze.
I stood at the doorway looking at her, and Jezie just kept on reading, like I wasn’t even there. My daughterdidn’t flinch, didn’t have a clue that I was anywhere around. At one point while Jezie was reading, Siddalee asked her to stop for a minute and I thought, Maybe Sidda knows I’m here.
But she just laid there still for a minute, then said: Aunt Jezie, would you read that part over again?
I wish Sidda would of sensed me, would of smelled me. Would of known I was near, even though she couldn’t see me. But then I’m always expecting too much from the girl, wanting her to know things she can’t see. That’s not one of the things I’m proud of, it’s something I wish I could rip up out of the ground.
I’d bought her some of these velveteen headbands from Bordelon’s Drugstore. I remember standing there in the store, thinking: She can rub her hands on the velvet and feel it, even though her eyes are bandaged. I got the salesgirl to gift-wrap them.
I wanted to walk the four steps over to my daughter propped up in that bed and say: Hey, Red! Here’s a strawberry-colored headband. I know you can’t see it, but just rub your hand on it. Feel? It’s gonna look so pretty against that long hair of yours.
But I never walked over to Siddalee laying there in the bed. I just stood right inside the doorway of the living room for a minute, then turned around and walked out.
Buggy and Jezie Abbott both moved into the house to help Viviane with the kids. They were camped out in the kids’ schoolroom, but their stuff was spread out everywhere. You could smell them all over the place.And Buggy had brought Miss Peppy, that rat of a dog, with her. It wasn’t my house anymore.
I left the headbands on the kitchen table and went out and checked on some business at the cotton gin. When I got back home that evening, Vivi was sitting at the kitchen counter talking on the phone, describing Sidda’s operation blow-by-blow to one of the Ya-Yas, like she’d been the one that got cut on. I walked in to look at Siddalee in the living room. It looked like she was asleep, but I couldn’t be sure with those bandages.
Before I knew it, Vivi slammed down the phone and flew into the room. She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out into the living room.
What do you think you are doing? she said.
Peeking at Sidda, I told her.
You put all the responsibility on me, she said. And I don’t want you anywhere near that child now. You stay out of there. Don’t you lay a finger on her! I don’t even want you talking to her, do you understand me?
I had deliberately not taken a single drink. Wanted to come home sober, wanted to see Siddalee
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