Little Suckers Bite Too (San Francisco Vampires #6) (Vampires of San Francisco series) by Jessica McBrayer

friend.
    “What have they been doing for the last three hours? By the way, thank you for dealing with them. I know how awful they are.” I take my sweater off as it is heating up in the bathroom now. “Well, Doxie isn’t so bad. But he lets Millicent call all the shots so he can’t be trusted either.”
    “They’ve been quizzing us about you and Diel. Trying to find out if you were pregnant, how far along you were, etc. It wasn’t hard for them to conclude with all the baby stuff around. We still didn’t confirm anything,” Lily explains as she helps me out of my skirt so I don’t fall over. She so has my back. I love her so much.
    “Devils. They are just plain scary. I don’t know what they are up to and we had better find out soon.” I’d had more than enough of my devious in-laws at Christmas – more than enough.
    I get into the shower and it is heaven. All my things are here making me more comfortable, allowing me to forget about everything while I concentrate on washing my hair and the rest of me. Just as I turn off the water and am starting to get out, I hear a roar coming from downstairs. Lily quickly wraps me in a heated towel and puts another around my hair. Then we hear Diel yell for Aidan to deposit my in-laws into the lake and send their car home. Damn. I’ve missed something good.
    Lily won’t let go of me so I can check it out. Instead she methodically dries my skin and towel dries my hair. She helps me into fresh clothes and bundles me up onto the over-large chair I had been in yesterday. She scoots the ottoman up and carefully lifts my feet onto it. I sit nervously waiting for Diel to come up and tell me what is going on.
    “I wish we had monitors on so I could hear what is going on downstairs,” I complain.
    “I’m sure Diel will let you know what’s up when he gets rid of his parents.”
    “Don’t count on it,” Diel says as he storms into the room. Just after that we hear a large splash in the lake and Diel gets a huge smile on his face. I can’t help my giggle and try to hold it in but end up snorting.
    “That’s what I want to hear,” Diel says. “Maybe I’ll have Aidan fish them out and do it over and over again.”
    “Nah, it would get boring after the twentieth time or so.”
    “Twenty times seems good to me,” Diel says darkly, still smiling.
    Lily is bent over laughing until tears come.
    “Let it out girl or you’re going to explode,” I tell her.
    “OMG, OMG. I can’t believe you did that, Diel,” she says laughing so hard that Sebastian comes in looking worried. When he sees she is fine he smiles indulgently at her.
    “Well it was that or exterminate them and I thought I might get into trouble,” Diel says sheepishly.
    “What did they want, Diel?” I ask in a tone that shouldn’t be argued with. But he does.
    “No, we’re not going there.”
    “Diel, spill it. You’ll just piss me off and get me riled up thinking the worst.”
    “Hannah, babe, you don’t want to know. It will piss you off and you will worry. I don’t want that and it’s not good for the baby,” he says trying to soothe me. It doesn’t work.
    “Don’t pull the baby card or try to patronize me, Diel. Either way I’ll be upset. Better I know what they want than be in the dark.”
    “Okay, you win.”
    “Do you want me to leave?” Lily asks.
    “No, everyone else already knows. I’m surprised you don’t too,” Diel looks at us puzzled.
    “Shower was on,” I say explaining.
    “Ahh, well it’s as bad as it can be. I need to make a million calls now,” Diel says stalling.
    “Sidiel! Tell me what the hell they wanted. Now.”
    “They want the baby.”
    “What? How?” I ask, stunned.
    “They are going to sue us for custody on the basis that the baby is royalty and should be raised in Hell. They also mentioned something about a vampire not being a fit mother,” he mumbled.
    I jump up, shaking with fury. Diel and Lily rush to my side to get me to sit down.
    “How the