Little Tim, Big Tim by Tim Roy Page B

called the ambulance which will meet us on the way. We are forty kilometres from the nearest hospital so we have to drive until we intercept the ambulance. We have driven twenty-five kilometres and transfer all of the sick family members into the two ambulances that we have met.
    As we drive to the hospital Mum surprises me by saying that she is proud of me. My Mum hardly ever compliments me. I am shocked when she says that today I have grown into a young man.
    I have proved myself in a difficult situation.
    As I sit outside waiting to hear if the stomach pump has aided the family’s recovery, Little Big Tim is created. Little Tim has grown up, and the secrets are passed.

YOUTH CAMP
     
LITTLE BIG TIM
     
    Little Tim creates me to help him grow up. I am given all the secrets and information that Little Tim holds. He also shares his memories. Now that I can remember all the details of our life that Little Tim has experienced he can stay safely in the space of many colours.
    The memories take me to doorways that hold pain, shame, guilt, fear and anxiety behind them. I am glad that I don’t know what is kept there. I know there are others like me, but I only sense them. Their job is to protect me and help me to function at difficult times.
    We have packed up and left the Bible College behind. There was definitely an unresolved issue between the Old Man and the Bible College. We drive straight to the Blue Mountains to a house Mum and The Old Man have purchased. The house is five hundred metres away from Echo Point, where the famous Three Sisters (rock formation) can be observed.
    I am in heaven. The Old Man is working as a cleaner at the hospital and Mum returns to her profession as a nursing-sister at the same hospital. With both of them working, it means that there is plenty of time and space for me to run around in nature without anybody knowing my whereabouts.
    We have changed religions. Now we attend the Happy Clappers Club, well, that’s what I call it—the Assemblies of God church. It’s another Bible College that the Old Man attends; this time he is completing an external course. The best thing about the Happy Clappers Club is that there are a lot of kids my age who attend regularly—although reluctantly.
    We become very close to each other throughout the school holidays, as all activities are done as a group. I feel safe and secure with my new friends and know my place in the pecking order; I am second in charge. My best friend is in charge.
    Jim, our leader, is a tall lad at thirteen, one year older than me; however, Jim always treats me as an equal. He has been in Australia for about a year before we meet. He is from ‘The United States of America.’ This is always the way he tells people; not the USA, or not the USA and a city or town, just ‘The United States of America.’
    We live about three hundred metres away from each other and I am always at his place. One day he asks me why I don’t invite him to my place. I don’t answer him; I just leave and go home. I can’t answer him for as soon as I feel shame, Shane surfaces and is totally confused as to where he is and who he is with.
    A month goes by and Jim finally contacts me. Every time I had gone to call him, I felt ashamed of what we had done and felt guilty about ignoring my friend. So each time I picked up the phone to call, I would pass Shane and Gary heading for Light as I was flung into the Dark. Shane and Gary would be in the Light, totally confused and not having the capacity, or memory, to dial our best friend’s number.
    Jim informs me that he misses me and wants me to come over to his place for lunch, and then play in the afternoon. I accept his invitation and feel the blanket of loneliness starting to lift.
    I hadn’t wasted the last four weeks; I had been exploring the surrounding bush by myself. I had numerous spots I was eager to show Jim after lunch. My most exciting discovery was a cave which I found by traversing a cliff face after