The thought of someone looking at me the wrong way would set me off. Hannah did not allow me to fight once we were a couple. I became a calmer person.
“Better? No…not better. Calmer. And I didn’t know I was agreeing to be your charity case when you became my girlfriend.”
“Whatever, Caydon. Don’t try to make me feel bad for wanting to do something good.”
“How about you, Hannah? Are you a good person?”
“Yes. I believe I am.”
“Then, you and I disagree on the meaning of good. When I think of the word good, I think of integrity, honesty, faithfulness, and morals. I was always honest to you. I was faithful to you. Therefore, I am a good person.” I try believing I have all of those qualities. “You didn’t teach me anything about being a good person, Hannah. But you did teach me something.”
Her eyes light up. She is waiting for me to deliver a compliment. The realization suddenly hits me that Hannah is an attention whore. Her dad, Nash, and I feed Hannah’s ego. She loves that she has each one of us at each other’s throat.
“What did I teach you?”
I cackle to myself. “You taught me the meaning of the word ‘bitch’. Hannah, you are a selfish. Keeping me on a rope for a year is unfair. Fucking me, when you accepted Graham’s marriage proposal makes you a whore. You may have all of the money in the world, but you act like a skank.” I spit right next to her loafer. Walking past her, I try to decide whether or not if I should say much more. Hannah’s mouth hangs open in disbelief.
She grabs my arm. Her eyes narrow and the real Hannah appears. “I was the best thing that happened to you, Caydon. All of the girls wanted you back in the day because you were good looking. Now, look at you. What respectable girl will want you? You have more tattoos than are necessary. What kind of job could you possibly get when you grow up?”
“The job I have, sweetheart. If I were you, I’d take myself out of the ‘respectable girl’ category. Respectable girls don’t cheat and lie. I wonder what Graham would think of you? Does he know that you fucked me right after you agreed to marry him? Maybe I should enlighten the poor guy.” I feel nothing but pity for the poor sucker that is going to marry Hannah.
There is panic behind her cold, blue eyes. “If you do, I will tell Daddy and Graham that you forced me.”
Wow. Yeah, okay…if only your fiancée heard you scream my fucking name as you came.
“Keep telling selfish lie after selfish lie, Hannah. For the record, you couldn’t pay me to force myself on you. Tell Daddy whatever you want. I don’t give a shit.” This time, I walk as far away from Hannah as I can.
I hear Hannah yell from behind me. “Happy Birthday, Caydon! I’m sorry!”
“Fuck you.”
Once I’m in my car, my body collapses against my seat. The only feeling Hannah has left me with is regret. I’ve allowed Hannah to hold me back. She duped me, and I fell for her shit. Hook, line, and sinker. My friendship with Nash disintegrated because of Hannah. I’ve allowed her father to make me feel like less than I was. Hell, for the past few years, I’ve based my worth on being with her.
I want to blame Hannah for everything. But I can’t. I got so caught up in trying to be something I’m not to prove I’m worthy of her and her kind. Turns out, Hannah was the shady one all along. So, I was behaving myself to impress someone who clearly lacks better judgment and principles.
What the fuck was I thinking?
I’ve got to get my shit together and stop being a pussy. I was Hannah’s pussy.
Never will I let my heart be broken again. From now on, I will keep this little bitch I call a heart locked up. No one is getting the key.
Reece pops into my head. Why? Who the fuck knows? My guess is that my dick knows that it is free to do whomever it wants. It knows that it had a strong reaction when Reece was near. That’s why I’m glad I think with my head instead of my dick. If I
“Better? No…not better. Calmer. And I didn’t know I was agreeing to be your charity case when you became my girlfriend.”
“Whatever, Caydon. Don’t try to make me feel bad for wanting to do something good.”
“How about you, Hannah? Are you a good person?”
“Yes. I believe I am.”
“Then, you and I disagree on the meaning of good. When I think of the word good, I think of integrity, honesty, faithfulness, and morals. I was always honest to you. I was faithful to you. Therefore, I am a good person.” I try believing I have all of those qualities. “You didn’t teach me anything about being a good person, Hannah. But you did teach me something.”
Her eyes light up. She is waiting for me to deliver a compliment. The realization suddenly hits me that Hannah is an attention whore. Her dad, Nash, and I feed Hannah’s ego. She loves that she has each one of us at each other’s throat.
“What did I teach you?”
I cackle to myself. “You taught me the meaning of the word ‘bitch’. Hannah, you are a selfish. Keeping me on a rope for a year is unfair. Fucking me, when you accepted Graham’s marriage proposal makes you a whore. You may have all of the money in the world, but you act like a skank.” I spit right next to her loafer. Walking past her, I try to decide whether or not if I should say much more. Hannah’s mouth hangs open in disbelief.
She grabs my arm. Her eyes narrow and the real Hannah appears. “I was the best thing that happened to you, Caydon. All of the girls wanted you back in the day because you were good looking. Now, look at you. What respectable girl will want you? You have more tattoos than are necessary. What kind of job could you possibly get when you grow up?”
“The job I have, sweetheart. If I were you, I’d take myself out of the ‘respectable girl’ category. Respectable girls don’t cheat and lie. I wonder what Graham would think of you? Does he know that you fucked me right after you agreed to marry him? Maybe I should enlighten the poor guy.” I feel nothing but pity for the poor sucker that is going to marry Hannah.
There is panic behind her cold, blue eyes. “If you do, I will tell Daddy and Graham that you forced me.”
Wow. Yeah, okay…if only your fiancée heard you scream my fucking name as you came.
“Keep telling selfish lie after selfish lie, Hannah. For the record, you couldn’t pay me to force myself on you. Tell Daddy whatever you want. I don’t give a shit.” This time, I walk as far away from Hannah as I can.
I hear Hannah yell from behind me. “Happy Birthday, Caydon! I’m sorry!”
“Fuck you.”
Once I’m in my car, my body collapses against my seat. The only feeling Hannah has left me with is regret. I’ve allowed Hannah to hold me back. She duped me, and I fell for her shit. Hook, line, and sinker. My friendship with Nash disintegrated because of Hannah. I’ve allowed her father to make me feel like less than I was. Hell, for the past few years, I’ve based my worth on being with her.
I want to blame Hannah for everything. But I can’t. I got so caught up in trying to be something I’m not to prove I’m worthy of her and her kind. Turns out, Hannah was the shady one all along. So, I was behaving myself to impress someone who clearly lacks better judgment and principles.
What the fuck was I thinking?
I’ve got to get my shit together and stop being a pussy. I was Hannah’s pussy.
Never will I let my heart be broken again. From now on, I will keep this little bitch I call a heart locked up. No one is getting the key.
Reece pops into my head. Why? Who the fuck knows? My guess is that my dick knows that it is free to do whomever it wants. It knows that it had a strong reaction when Reece was near. That’s why I’m glad I think with my head instead of my dick. If I
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