Caydon. We’ve worked so hard for you to get a hold of your anger.”
We?
Hell if I know why I was involved. It doesn’t matter. I haven’t seen Reece since that night. I’m curious where Hannah is going with the information Nash has given her. “Hannah, what’s the big deal? It’s a long story. We’re not here to talk about Reece or Nash.”
What the fuck was that?
A sparkling flash catches my eye. It is coming from Hannah’s fourth finger, next to her pinky, on her left hand.
That is not what I think it is. Is it?
Slowly, I walk toward Hannah. I pick up the hand with the bling on it. Hannah remains silent. “Is this what I think it is?” I let out a sigh of disbelief. Hannah is having a hard time returning my gaze. “Well, is it?”
Hannah still doesn’t answer.
What is it with voiceless chicks?
“Hannah?”
A single tear slips from her eye. “It is.” There it is…the rejection I knew was coming. Hannah is engaged.
The feeling I have is like no other. A slow, dull pain pervades my chest. I’m breathing but I feel like I’m holding my breath. The weight of the sky is on my shoulders. The need to sit and stand, at the same time, confuses my motor skills. The emotional chaos consumes me. And finally, I have an understanding for the need to be silent.
“Caydon? Say something,” Hannah pleads. I drop her hand and face the water. I shake my head because words are useless.
“I understand that you are upset. Let me explain.” I glance over my shoulder waiting for the bullshit to spew from her mouth. “Daddy set us up.”
That is all I need to hear. “Fuck your dad, Hannah. Don’t blame this on him. You’re a fucking adult. Take responsibility for your life and stop hiding behind your fucking father. Jesus.”
“It’s true. I met Graham shortly after I arrived at school. Unbeknownst to me, Daddy asked Graham to show me around campus. Graham’s parents are very good friends of my father. I knew of him but never met him because he lived with his parents across the country. We have a lot in common, Caydon” Hannah’s head hangs low. “I’m sorry.”
“How long have you been engaged?”
“A little over a year.”
What the fuck?
I run my fingers through my hair. Hannah could have set me free over a year ago…a fucking year. I try wrapping my head around the situation. Few facts come together and I realize I fucked her while she was engaged. She’s been cheating on her fiancé and me. Classy.
“So, you’ve been cheating on me and Graham? Does he know about me?”
“I thought that what we had would fade away. Honestly, when I left for school, I thought you would grow tired of a long distance relationship. I was shocked that you called so much. I imagined that you were meeting people being in the industry you are in. When you came to visit last year, I just had to have you one last time, Caydon,” Hannah explains.
The sad part is that she believes that she did nothing wrong. “Whatever happened to ‘there will always be Hannah and Caydon’?”
Hannah tries to take my hand. I quickly put my hands in my pockets. The flicker of hurt in her eyes makes me feel good. “I cherish the time we had together. You were my first. I will never forget how gentle you were. You…you were my first crush.”
I snicker. “A crush. I was a fucking crush. I popped your fucking cherry, Hannah. I would expect to be placed in a different category other than ‘crush’. Christ, doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
She’s horrified. I have never spoken to her so harshly. What the fuck do I care? It’s over anyway. “Caydon, you are making this more difficult than it needs to be. I’d like to think I had kept you from getting into trouble when you were younger. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Despite my family’s protest, I stayed with you so you’d become a better person.”
I rub the stubble on my chin. Part of her statement is true. When I met Hannah, I fought all of the time.
We?
Hell if I know why I was involved. It doesn’t matter. I haven’t seen Reece since that night. I’m curious where Hannah is going with the information Nash has given her. “Hannah, what’s the big deal? It’s a long story. We’re not here to talk about Reece or Nash.”
What the fuck was that?
A sparkling flash catches my eye. It is coming from Hannah’s fourth finger, next to her pinky, on her left hand.
That is not what I think it is. Is it?
Slowly, I walk toward Hannah. I pick up the hand with the bling on it. Hannah remains silent. “Is this what I think it is?” I let out a sigh of disbelief. Hannah is having a hard time returning my gaze. “Well, is it?”
Hannah still doesn’t answer.
What is it with voiceless chicks?
“Hannah?”
A single tear slips from her eye. “It is.” There it is…the rejection I knew was coming. Hannah is engaged.
The feeling I have is like no other. A slow, dull pain pervades my chest. I’m breathing but I feel like I’m holding my breath. The weight of the sky is on my shoulders. The need to sit and stand, at the same time, confuses my motor skills. The emotional chaos consumes me. And finally, I have an understanding for the need to be silent.
“Caydon? Say something,” Hannah pleads. I drop her hand and face the water. I shake my head because words are useless.
“I understand that you are upset. Let me explain.” I glance over my shoulder waiting for the bullshit to spew from her mouth. “Daddy set us up.”
That is all I need to hear. “Fuck your dad, Hannah. Don’t blame this on him. You’re a fucking adult. Take responsibility for your life and stop hiding behind your fucking father. Jesus.”
“It’s true. I met Graham shortly after I arrived at school. Unbeknownst to me, Daddy asked Graham to show me around campus. Graham’s parents are very good friends of my father. I knew of him but never met him because he lived with his parents across the country. We have a lot in common, Caydon” Hannah’s head hangs low. “I’m sorry.”
“How long have you been engaged?”
“A little over a year.”
What the fuck?
I run my fingers through my hair. Hannah could have set me free over a year ago…a fucking year. I try wrapping my head around the situation. Few facts come together and I realize I fucked her while she was engaged. She’s been cheating on her fiancé and me. Classy.
“So, you’ve been cheating on me and Graham? Does he know about me?”
“I thought that what we had would fade away. Honestly, when I left for school, I thought you would grow tired of a long distance relationship. I was shocked that you called so much. I imagined that you were meeting people being in the industry you are in. When you came to visit last year, I just had to have you one last time, Caydon,” Hannah explains.
The sad part is that she believes that she did nothing wrong. “Whatever happened to ‘there will always be Hannah and Caydon’?”
Hannah tries to take my hand. I quickly put my hands in my pockets. The flicker of hurt in her eyes makes me feel good. “I cherish the time we had together. You were my first. I will never forget how gentle you were. You…you were my first crush.”
I snicker. “A crush. I was a fucking crush. I popped your fucking cherry, Hannah. I would expect to be placed in a different category other than ‘crush’. Christ, doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
She’s horrified. I have never spoken to her so harshly. What the fuck do I care? It’s over anyway. “Caydon, you are making this more difficult than it needs to be. I’d like to think I had kept you from getting into trouble when you were younger. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Despite my family’s protest, I stayed with you so you’d become a better person.”
I rub the stubble on my chin. Part of her statement is true. When I met Hannah, I fought all of the time.
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