can’t have…that sort of thing.”
“No, of course we wouldn’t have done anything like…”
“Of course you would,” she said flatly. “You work on a newspaper.”
“There might have been a bit of pressure, yes, but in the end it would have been up to you. Come on, Rita, you work with us, you’re part of our team, we wouldn’t rat on you that way.”
“Maybe,” she said.
“But why can’t he have you…?” I went on. “You said Andy Sparks and the girl he can’t have.”
“Oh well, I’m married to someone else,” she said.
“I see,” I said, though I didn’t.
Another silence.
“And does he want to marry you, Andy, I mean?”
“Oh yes, I think Andrew would like to, but I don’t think he really knows what he wants.”
“Do you not want to leave your husband?” I asked, remembering suddenly that there had been no sign of a man around that little flat.
“He’s inside, served four years of fifteen, he’ll probably have to do two more anyway.”
“Oh God, I’m sorry I asked.”
“No you’re not, if you hadn’t asked you wouldn’t know. You want to know, it’s partly you yourself, it’s partly your job. You all like to know things.”
It was the longest speech I’d heard her make. I didn’t know what to say.
She went on.
“Listen, I’m not coming back to the office. I don’t want to go back now, because everyone already knows I know him. Oh yes they do, you told them, but you told them not to mention it, I’m not a fool. I can’t bear offices where everyone knows everything about everyone else, that’s why I stayed so long with you lot…you didn’t talk too much about your own lives, and you didn’t pry into mine. I thought you’d like me being fairly buttoned up…but no, it’s all of you who’ve been doing the prying….”
“I understand what you mean, Rita, honestly I do. The girls who did your job before were always so boring about their boyfriends and their life’s history…but seriously I understand if…”
She looked at me.
“You understand nothing if I may say so. You don’t understand the first little thing. And because it isn’t clear to you at once, you turn it all into a little mystery and have to solve it. You don’t understand why Andrew fancies me, you don’t understand why I wait for a husband to come out of prison, you don’t understand whether those kids Martie and Anna are mine or not.”
“It’s none of my business,” I said, distressed and unable to cope with the articulate and very, very angry Rita. “I can’t say anything right now.”
Rita calmed down. Her eyes didn’t flash, but they were not back to the dead dull look they normally held.
“Well, I could tell you a few things which would give you information, but you still wouldn’t
understand
. Martie and Anna aren’t my girls, they’re Nat’s. Nat is my husband. Nat is in gaol because he beat Myrtle to death. Myrtle was my best friend. Myrtle always loved Nat. Nat never loved Myrtle but he had two children by her. Even after he married me, he would see Myrtle. I knew, I didn’t mind, that’s the way Nat was. I knew it at the time, I know it now. Myrtle found this other fella, he wanted to marry her, take the kids and all he would. Myrtle told Nat, Nat said no, he didn’t want another man raising his kids. Myrtle asked me what she should do. I said I thought she should marry the other fella, but then my advice was prejudiced.
“Myrtle said I was right, and she told Nat. They had a great row. Nat he lost his temper and he beat Myrtle and he beat her, and she died. I telephoned the police and they came, and they took him, and he got fifteen years and I look after Anna and Martie.”
She paused and took a drink of her wine, and though I didn’t understand I could approach an understanding of how strong she must have been, must still be.
“And you won’t understand either why Andrew wants me to go away with him. He just needs me. I don’t know whether
“No, of course we wouldn’t have done anything like…”
“Of course you would,” she said flatly. “You work on a newspaper.”
“There might have been a bit of pressure, yes, but in the end it would have been up to you. Come on, Rita, you work with us, you’re part of our team, we wouldn’t rat on you that way.”
“Maybe,” she said.
“But why can’t he have you…?” I went on. “You said Andy Sparks and the girl he can’t have.”
“Oh well, I’m married to someone else,” she said.
“I see,” I said, though I didn’t.
Another silence.
“And does he want to marry you, Andy, I mean?”
“Oh yes, I think Andrew would like to, but I don’t think he really knows what he wants.”
“Do you not want to leave your husband?” I asked, remembering suddenly that there had been no sign of a man around that little flat.
“He’s inside, served four years of fifteen, he’ll probably have to do two more anyway.”
“Oh God, I’m sorry I asked.”
“No you’re not, if you hadn’t asked you wouldn’t know. You want to know, it’s partly you yourself, it’s partly your job. You all like to know things.”
It was the longest speech I’d heard her make. I didn’t know what to say.
She went on.
“Listen, I’m not coming back to the office. I don’t want to go back now, because everyone already knows I know him. Oh yes they do, you told them, but you told them not to mention it, I’m not a fool. I can’t bear offices where everyone knows everything about everyone else, that’s why I stayed so long with you lot…you didn’t talk too much about your own lives, and you didn’t pry into mine. I thought you’d like me being fairly buttoned up…but no, it’s all of you who’ve been doing the prying….”
“I understand what you mean, Rita, honestly I do. The girls who did your job before were always so boring about their boyfriends and their life’s history…but seriously I understand if…”
She looked at me.
“You understand nothing if I may say so. You don’t understand the first little thing. And because it isn’t clear to you at once, you turn it all into a little mystery and have to solve it. You don’t understand why Andrew fancies me, you don’t understand why I wait for a husband to come out of prison, you don’t understand whether those kids Martie and Anna are mine or not.”
“It’s none of my business,” I said, distressed and unable to cope with the articulate and very, very angry Rita. “I can’t say anything right now.”
Rita calmed down. Her eyes didn’t flash, but they were not back to the dead dull look they normally held.
“Well, I could tell you a few things which would give you information, but you still wouldn’t
understand
. Martie and Anna aren’t my girls, they’re Nat’s. Nat is my husband. Nat is in gaol because he beat Myrtle to death. Myrtle was my best friend. Myrtle always loved Nat. Nat never loved Myrtle but he had two children by her. Even after he married me, he would see Myrtle. I knew, I didn’t mind, that’s the way Nat was. I knew it at the time, I know it now. Myrtle found this other fella, he wanted to marry her, take the kids and all he would. Myrtle told Nat, Nat said no, he didn’t want another man raising his kids. Myrtle asked me what she should do. I said I thought she should marry the other fella, but then my advice was prejudiced.
“Myrtle said I was right, and she told Nat. They had a great row. Nat he lost his temper and he beat Myrtle and he beat her, and she died. I telephoned the police and they came, and they took him, and he got fifteen years and I look after Anna and Martie.”
She paused and took a drink of her wine, and though I didn’t understand I could approach an understanding of how strong she must have been, must still be.
“And you won’t understand either why Andrew wants me to go away with him. He just needs me. I don’t know whether
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