Losing to Win by Michele Grant Page A

when you left. Will you accept my apology?”
    She looked as stunned hearing it as I was saying it. Finally she relaxed and beamed. “I accept your apology.”
    â€œSeriously? Just like that? And you forgive me?”
    â€œNot just like that, but what’s the use of holding onto it all, right? Give me a little time to get my head around it, okay? It’s a lot of baggage to let go all at once. I mean, yesterday at this time, I was hoping never to see you again. And here you are, in my kitchen.”
    â€œYou know, it’s the ‘what could have been’ that haunts me,” I admitted. What if I’d done things differently, what if she’d stayed, what if I hadn’t gotten hurt, what if we’d had the wedding and the kids. What if I’d gone after her at any time over the last five years? What if, what if, what if?
    She slashed her hand through the air. “Well, stop it, because you can’t live life looking backward.”
    A hopeful thought took seed in my brain. “Can we be friends again, at least? I miss my friend.”
    She eyed me skeptically as if wondering what my angle was. Finally she shrugged. “I’ll try.”
    â€œFair enough. What do you think? Can we get past it?” I wondered out loud.
    Tentatively she started to speak, then stopped. Then she asked, “If I ask you something, Mal, will you answer me honestly?”
    â€œYes.” I vowed that no matter what she asked, I’d be honest.
    â€œDid you cheat on me?”
    Ah shit. I took a deep gulp of water. Knowing my next question was telling in and of itself, I asked, “When, specifically?”
    Her stare was a rich brown laser beam of accusation. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms tighter against her chest. “Not while we lived apart. I understood our unspoken agreement. I’m asking about after college, when I moved to Houston. Were you cheating?”
    That, I could answer unequivocally while looking directly into her eyes. “No.”
    She looked unconvinced to say the least. “Hmm.”
    â€œSwear to God, Rissa. When you were living with me, I never slept with another woman. I flirted, I teased, I was probably way more friendly than I needed to be, but I did not cheat.” I paused a beat and then added, “Not sure if you recall, but you and I were fairly energetic in that department.”
    She flushed and squirmed on the seat. “I recall.”
    â€œOne area where we had no problem was in making that physical connection.” My voice went a little deeper as I allowed myself to dwell on it. “We were explosive together.”
    â€œUm-hmm.” She cleared her throat and fidgeted a little bit more.
    I hid my grin. She remembered as well. “Even when things were bad in other areas, we were always in tune with each other in the bedroom... and the living room... and the garage . . . oh my God, that one time in the press box, ” I teased.
    â€œI said I recall.” It was her turn to take a deep sip of water. Her neck was a little red. Nice to know that part of our chemistry was still there just beneath the surface.
    â€œEven when I wasn’t what you needed emotionally, I could always reach you on that physical plane. You know, there were times when I was supposed to be on the field or in a meeting and I’d be distracted by the thought of getting back to you so I could get inside of you—it was all I could think about. Because once I was there, deep and warm with you wrapped around me, I was Superman.”
    â€œOh,” she said with an unfocused stare into space.
    I leaned toward her and continued, “Between what you and I had going on and my dedication—”
    â€œObsession.”
    â€œâ€”obsession with football, I had no time or interest in other women.”
    â€œThe groupies, Mal.”
    â€œI kept them around for appearances’ sake. Sounds weak as hell, but it’s true. I