Love Hurts by Brenda Grate

Jilly’s house the day before. Tears came to her eyes at the thought that their relationship could be threatened. Anna didn’t know what she’d do without her sister. Jilly was her only family other than Rob and certainly more of a support system than her own husband. The only time she’d been this at odds with her sister was when Jilly had been at her worst cutting phase and ended up in the hospital. Jilly’d only been fourteen. Being cut off from Jilly didn’t just hurt; Anna feared the inability to watch over her volatile sister. She’d been Jilly’s guardian in so many ways. Mamma sometimes spent days maniacally painting and forgot she even had children. That’s when Anna would have to stop whatever plans she had to make sure her little sister would be adequately cared for. She sometimes wished she could be a normal teenager, but then felt guilty for her thoughts. She loved her little sister with all her heart. So when Jilly went through a deep depression and seemed constantly angry with her sister, Anna wondered why Jilly hadn’t been more grateful.
     
    She still remembered the day she had to call 911. It imprinted on her memory like a prison tattoo. She wished she could ignore it, but it was too prominent, almost like it had been inked on the end of her nose.
     
    Anna had grabbed the door knob just as Jillian pushed the door from the other side. “Stop, Jilly, wait!” she yelled in desperation. “I’m sorry!”
     
    Jilly sobbed and pushed at the door, nearly closing it on Anna’s hand. “Go away and leave me alone. I hate you!”
     
    Anna leaned against the door and spoke into the tiny crack. “What did I say? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I don’t know what I did wrong.”
     
    “Yes, you do.” Jilly’s voice wavered. “It’s always the same thing.”
     
    “What is?” Anna shoved harder against the door, but it wouldn’t budge.
     
    “You always think you know what’s best for me, but you don’t. You’re not my mother.”
     
    “That’s what this is about? I wanted you to change your clothes?” Hard as she tried, Anna couldn’t keep the disgust out of her tone and Jilly shrieked and tore the door open.
     
    “Don’t talk to me that way. I’m not a baby!” Jilly stood in the doorway, her hands clenched and her face screwed up in fury.  
     
    Anna tried to stay calm, but she could feel the blood rising in her face. “You say you’re not a baby, but look at you. You’re totally overreacting.”
     
    “No, no, no! I’m not. You’re overreacting. You’re always trying to make me do what you want and I’m sick of it. Get out of my life. I hate you!”
     
    Anna rocked back as though Jilly’s words were physical blows. “How can you say that to me? I’ve given up my life to take care of you!”
     
    Jilly stopped dead, her blue eyes wide in shock, and within seconds they filled up with tears again. “You can have your life back.” She slammed the door, and the vibrations in the foundation reverberated through Anna’s body.  
     
    Anna reached for the knob, but found it locked. The other side of the door held nothing but silence. Already regretting her careless words, Anna slid down the wall opposite the door and stared at it as though she could see through to her sister on the other side. Mamma had gone out after spending most of the day in her studio. Anna’s shoulders drooped. Jilly’s emotional outbursts seemed to come like a flash flood lately. No warning, no explanation. Their house was like a supercharged force field with Anna the only conduit.  
     
    They were late for school, but Anna didn’t care. Life had lately become too much of an effort. She would be happy to graduate that year so she could get out of the House of Horrors, but she felt constant guilt at the thought of leaving her sister alone with Mamma. She could take Jilly with her, but Mamma would never agree to that, although Anna didn’t know why. Without kids in the house, she