passive.
“It doesn’t
matter. I’m a big girl; I can handle whatever you choose to do, but this isn’t
about you and me. This is about Ryan. He needs us, now, and you and I are going
to work together to make sure he is happy, for the time he has left.”
He swallowed
and set aside the coffee. “I’m used to being in control with Ryan, with
everyone and everything around me. His illness, I … I’ve never felt more
helpless. I don’t like it, and for the record, I’ve always wanted you, Jay, and
not just because of Ryan—you are a unique, beautiful person. It’s why I
couldn’t resist collaring you, but I am not sure there can be an us , without Ryan. But you’re right, we’ll both be there for him, together.”
“I appreciate
that.” She hovered, wanting to say more, wanting more reassurance. Mentally,
she shook her head; she needed to stand strong, even against Brendon. “I need
to go to work. I’ve cleaned your clothes. They are over there.” She nodded
towards the red sitting chair in the corner of her room. “Just remember to lock
the door, when you leave.”
She turned to
leave, but Brendon’s hand shot out, snagging her wrist, jolting her to a halt.
Startled, she glanced back at him.
“Thank you,
Jay, you’re more than I deserve right now.”
She stared into
his beautiful eyes. Her heart constricted, and she wanted to melt into him, beg
for his love, his touch. She forced herself to smile and nodded, not trusting
herself to speak. He frowned again,
before letting go of her wrist. She turned, straightened her shoulders and
walked from the room, without a backward glance.
****
Brendon and Jay put their Dom/sub
relationship to the side, while they worked together to take care of Ryan. Ryan
officially left his job. Jay took some time off from the Melbourne Library to
help care for Ryan when his headaches grew worse. The tumor started to affect
his nervous system; he had trouble with his fine motor skills, picking up
objects and even dressing himself.
When Ryan started vomiting, Jay was there
to help clean him up. Brendon left her to that duty. He’d always had a weak
stomach and low nerves, when it came to illness. He was more than grateful Jay
was there. Still, the guilty feeling that he should be doing more for Ryan
nagged at him. He did his best to make his lover smile, giving into anything he
wanted.
His beautiful boy with pale skin had
dropped weight, he looked thin and frail, far from the
lush young man he thought he knew. Still, his spirit remained strong. Brendon
was amazed at how Ryan could stay so upbeat and positive, while facing the end
of his life.
At the end of the fifth week Ryan
collapsed, while Jay was helping into the bathroom. In a panic, they called an
ambulance and rushed him to hospital. The doctors put Ryan through another
battery of tests.
The news was not good. Brendon and Jay
sat on either side of Ryan’s bed, while the doctors informed them that Ryan’s
tumor was growing at a faster rate than they had anticipated. It was only a
matter of days before it would finally killed him.
Ryan insisted on them helping to finalize
his funeral plans. As Brendon listened to Ryan choose the happy upbeat songs he
wanted played, the funny antidotes he wanted told and the poems he wanted read
out, Brendon’s anger tightened around him, strangling his heart.
“I want a celebration of my life, not
everyone standing around, looking miserable.” Ryan smiled, weakly. “You know, I
love to party.”
Brendon watched Jay grip his hand and
softly chuckle. “Yes, remember the time when we snuck in through the back door
of Club Steel, in downtown
Melbourne
?”
“Damn, when the bouncer caught us, I
swear the guy almost made me shit myself .” Ryan’s laughter
was the final catalyst. Brendon lost control, jumping to his feet.
“How the hell can you laugh, damn it,
you’re about to die!” He turned on his feet, storming out the door. He took a
moment, leaning against the
“It doesn’t
matter. I’m a big girl; I can handle whatever you choose to do, but this isn’t
about you and me. This is about Ryan. He needs us, now, and you and I are going
to work together to make sure he is happy, for the time he has left.”
He swallowed
and set aside the coffee. “I’m used to being in control with Ryan, with
everyone and everything around me. His illness, I … I’ve never felt more
helpless. I don’t like it, and for the record, I’ve always wanted you, Jay, and
not just because of Ryan—you are a unique, beautiful person. It’s why I
couldn’t resist collaring you, but I am not sure there can be an us , without Ryan. But you’re right, we’ll both be there for him, together.”
“I appreciate
that.” She hovered, wanting to say more, wanting more reassurance. Mentally,
she shook her head; she needed to stand strong, even against Brendon. “I need
to go to work. I’ve cleaned your clothes. They are over there.” She nodded
towards the red sitting chair in the corner of her room. “Just remember to lock
the door, when you leave.”
She turned to
leave, but Brendon’s hand shot out, snagging her wrist, jolting her to a halt.
Startled, she glanced back at him.
“Thank you,
Jay, you’re more than I deserve right now.”
She stared into
his beautiful eyes. Her heart constricted, and she wanted to melt into him, beg
for his love, his touch. She forced herself to smile and nodded, not trusting
herself to speak. He frowned again,
before letting go of her wrist. She turned, straightened her shoulders and
walked from the room, without a backward glance.
****
Brendon and Jay put their Dom/sub
relationship to the side, while they worked together to take care of Ryan. Ryan
officially left his job. Jay took some time off from the Melbourne Library to
help care for Ryan when his headaches grew worse. The tumor started to affect
his nervous system; he had trouble with his fine motor skills, picking up
objects and even dressing himself.
When Ryan started vomiting, Jay was there
to help clean him up. Brendon left her to that duty. He’d always had a weak
stomach and low nerves, when it came to illness. He was more than grateful Jay
was there. Still, the guilty feeling that he should be doing more for Ryan
nagged at him. He did his best to make his lover smile, giving into anything he
wanted.
His beautiful boy with pale skin had
dropped weight, he looked thin and frail, far from the
lush young man he thought he knew. Still, his spirit remained strong. Brendon
was amazed at how Ryan could stay so upbeat and positive, while facing the end
of his life.
At the end of the fifth week Ryan
collapsed, while Jay was helping into the bathroom. In a panic, they called an
ambulance and rushed him to hospital. The doctors put Ryan through another
battery of tests.
The news was not good. Brendon and Jay
sat on either side of Ryan’s bed, while the doctors informed them that Ryan’s
tumor was growing at a faster rate than they had anticipated. It was only a
matter of days before it would finally killed him.
Ryan insisted on them helping to finalize
his funeral plans. As Brendon listened to Ryan choose the happy upbeat songs he
wanted played, the funny antidotes he wanted told and the poems he wanted read
out, Brendon’s anger tightened around him, strangling his heart.
“I want a celebration of my life, not
everyone standing around, looking miserable.” Ryan smiled, weakly. “You know, I
love to party.”
Brendon watched Jay grip his hand and
softly chuckle. “Yes, remember the time when we snuck in through the back door
of Club Steel, in downtown
Melbourne
?”
“Damn, when the bouncer caught us, I
swear the guy almost made me shit myself .” Ryan’s laughter
was the final catalyst. Brendon lost control, jumping to his feet.
“How the hell can you laugh, damn it,
you’re about to die!” He turned on his feet, storming out the door. He took a
moment, leaning against the
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