hospital wall. His life was rapidly falling apart
before his eyes. Once he had everything he’d ever wanted and soon he’d have
nothing.
You
still have Jay . Brendon shook his head, no, his mind
refused to let her in. She was not his Ryan, and she never would be. His heart
pounded and chest heaved with the effort to breathe. He looked down at his
shaking hands, before clenching them into fists and shoving them into his
pockets. He shoved away from the wall, walking down the corridor. Fuck this, fuck it all! Even cursing did
nothing to ease the pain now gripping his chest.
****
“Don’t worry about him. He loves you, and
it’s hard for a man like him to let go.” Jay soothed, seeing the distress in
Ryan’s eyes. The last thing she wanted was Ryan upset over Brendon’s outbursts.
“I know , it’s
hard for a man like him not to be in control. I don’t take it personally, but
you will be there for him, you promised.” Ryan eyed her with concern.
She bit down on her bottom lip. “Yes, for
as long as he needs and wants me to.”
Jay had other concerns weighing on her mind.
She desperately wanted to talk to her best friend about it, like they always
did. Share the news of her discovery. But this was not about her. She was here
for Ryan, not the other way around.
Ryan frowned. “Honey, I know that look of
yours. There’s something else going on.”
Even sick, Ryan never missed anything.
“I know we always share our secrets, but
I don’t want to worry you with this. It’s not important right now.”
Ryan fixed her with a pointed stare. “Jay, girl, spill it.”
“Okay, just promise not a word to Brendon.
I’m not sure how he would take the news.”
Ryan’s eyes widened, and he weakly
gripped her hand. “Oh god, please tell me you’re not ill, too?”
“Yes. I mean no, not in the way you
think. Remember a few weeks back, when we finally broke the news of your tumor
to Brendon, and he got blind drunk and ended up at my place.”
“Oh yes, I still have your text in my
phone, but if you’re ill—”
“No, not ill, well, we had unprotected
sex, he and I ... I tossed my cookies a few days ago and I’m two weeks late for
my period, so I took a pregnancy test, and well, it was positive.” She sucked
in a breath after rushing out her words.
Ryan’s laugh startled her. He tugged on
her arm to make her stand. “ C’mere .” He opened his
arms. Jay stood up and hugged her best friend.
“This is the most wonderful news I’ve
heard.”
“It is?”
“Hell yeah, I dunno , call it karma, but my death and you giving life. I
knew you and Brendon were meant for each other.” She pulled back, and Ryan’s
gaze dropped to her belly. “If it’s a boy, will you call him Ryan?”
Tears stung the back of her eyes, before
spilling over and tumbling down her cheeks. “Yes,” she choked out. “And, if
it’s a girl, Ryanne .”
Ryan laughed again. “I love it. Oh,
honey, don’t cry. You have to tell Brendon.”
“Oh, no, not yet, please.” She pulled
back, shaking her head. It was hard enough to keep her hormonal emotions under
control and stay strong for Ryan. There was an air of uncertainty about how
Brendon would react, if he knew he was going to be a father. She didn’t need
any more added stress.
“I will tell him when the time is right.”
She swiped at her tears, sniffed and gave Ryan a smile.
Her smile fell, when his face twisted in
sudden pain. He groaned as his eyes rolled back in his head. In a panic, Jay
snatched up the nurse call-button and pressed it, hard.
****
Despite the morning sun shining down, the
air was still cool and crisp. Jay stood between Ryan’s mother and father,
watching Ryan’s coffin lower into the ground.
The day after she’d told Ryan about her
pregnancy, he’d slipped into a coma.
The doctor assured them Ryan felt no
pain. She, Brendon and his mother kept a vigil by his bedside, until the moment
the last of his breath left his body.
In the days
before his eyes. Once he had everything he’d ever wanted and soon he’d have
nothing.
You
still have Jay . Brendon shook his head, no, his mind
refused to let her in. She was not his Ryan, and she never would be. His heart
pounded and chest heaved with the effort to breathe. He looked down at his
shaking hands, before clenching them into fists and shoving them into his
pockets. He shoved away from the wall, walking down the corridor. Fuck this, fuck it all! Even cursing did
nothing to ease the pain now gripping his chest.
****
“Don’t worry about him. He loves you, and
it’s hard for a man like him to let go.” Jay soothed, seeing the distress in
Ryan’s eyes. The last thing she wanted was Ryan upset over Brendon’s outbursts.
“I know , it’s
hard for a man like him not to be in control. I don’t take it personally, but
you will be there for him, you promised.” Ryan eyed her with concern.
She bit down on her bottom lip. “Yes, for
as long as he needs and wants me to.”
Jay had other concerns weighing on her mind.
She desperately wanted to talk to her best friend about it, like they always
did. Share the news of her discovery. But this was not about her. She was here
for Ryan, not the other way around.
Ryan frowned. “Honey, I know that look of
yours. There’s something else going on.”
Even sick, Ryan never missed anything.
“I know we always share our secrets, but
I don’t want to worry you with this. It’s not important right now.”
Ryan fixed her with a pointed stare. “Jay, girl, spill it.”
“Okay, just promise not a word to Brendon.
I’m not sure how he would take the news.”
Ryan’s eyes widened, and he weakly
gripped her hand. “Oh god, please tell me you’re not ill, too?”
“Yes. I mean no, not in the way you
think. Remember a few weeks back, when we finally broke the news of your tumor
to Brendon, and he got blind drunk and ended up at my place.”
“Oh yes, I still have your text in my
phone, but if you’re ill—”
“No, not ill, well, we had unprotected
sex, he and I ... I tossed my cookies a few days ago and I’m two weeks late for
my period, so I took a pregnancy test, and well, it was positive.” She sucked
in a breath after rushing out her words.
Ryan’s laugh startled her. He tugged on
her arm to make her stand. “ C’mere .” He opened his
arms. Jay stood up and hugged her best friend.
“This is the most wonderful news I’ve
heard.”
“It is?”
“Hell yeah, I dunno , call it karma, but my death and you giving life. I
knew you and Brendon were meant for each other.” She pulled back, and Ryan’s
gaze dropped to her belly. “If it’s a boy, will you call him Ryan?”
Tears stung the back of her eyes, before
spilling over and tumbling down her cheeks. “Yes,” she choked out. “And, if
it’s a girl, Ryanne .”
Ryan laughed again. “I love it. Oh,
honey, don’t cry. You have to tell Brendon.”
“Oh, no, not yet, please.” She pulled
back, shaking her head. It was hard enough to keep her hormonal emotions under
control and stay strong for Ryan. There was an air of uncertainty about how
Brendon would react, if he knew he was going to be a father. She didn’t need
any more added stress.
“I will tell him when the time is right.”
She swiped at her tears, sniffed and gave Ryan a smile.
Her smile fell, when his face twisted in
sudden pain. He groaned as his eyes rolled back in his head. In a panic, Jay
snatched up the nurse call-button and pressed it, hard.
****
Despite the morning sun shining down, the
air was still cool and crisp. Jay stood between Ryan’s mother and father,
watching Ryan’s coffin lower into the ground.
The day after she’d told Ryan about her
pregnancy, he’d slipped into a coma.
The doctor assured them Ryan felt no
pain. She, Brendon and his mother kept a vigil by his bedside, until the moment
the last of his breath left his body.
In the days
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