slashed through him that Anthony was truly ill, and not just avoiding everyone, especially him.
“I have a bad cold. It seems to want to stick around.” The hoarseness of his voice surprised Elijah. “I've been a little nauseous lately, nothing major.” A bout of wheezing shook Anthony’s body, giving lie to the words he’d just spoken. His hand rose and waved away any comment Elijah would’ve made. “Just a cough, it comes and goes.” He tucked his hands between his thighs and curled into a ball, leaving Elijah with the impression he wanted to be left alone. Well, he’d grant him the unspoken request in a minute. Right now he needed to be sure his friend had everything he needed to recover.
“What're you taking for it?”
“I've got some cold meds.” This time the voice sounded bored, distant, and for some reason that hurt. “A couple of choir members brought some stuff yesterday. I'll be okay.” He curled tighter, appearing vulnerable.
“I know you'll be okay.” He hadn't meant to snap, but it seemed lately he got everything wrong. His wife wanted kids. His fear of being a worse parent than his father, Bishop Pace, kept him in a state of limbo. He wasn't ready. His father wanted him to take the church in a certain direction. They disagreed. The result was constant friction. This attraction for his best friend came at the worst possible time. Although, when was the right time to want another man, especially when you were his boss, his Pastor?
Eyes closed, he wished he could turn back the clock to before they'd acted on their feelings six weeks ago. It had started with a hug, a kiss, and then mind-blowing sex. How could anything that good, that intense, be wrong? Nonetheless, afterwards, they'd both felt bad and never discussed what happened that afternoon. Cheating on his wife weighed heavily on his conscience. They’d avoided being alone until today.
Elijah sat on the edge of the bed as he'd done so many times before. With their recent past between them, it seemed awkward. Years of easy-going camaraderie vanished as the reality of their actions burrowed into their minds.
“Talk to me, what's really going on?” As much as he hated opening the door, he knew they needed to clear the air so they could move forward.
“Why should I? What difference would it make?” He cleared his throat before blowing his nose. “Just let it go. It doesn't matter much anyway.”
Elijah watched the back of Anthony's head. Without thinking, he stroked the soft curls, cheeks, and forehead of his friend’s face. The slight tremor beneath his palm and hitch of breath said more than words how much his friend hurt.
“Talk to me.” He squeezed a bare shoulder. “I'm here now, what's wrong?”
Slowly, he rolled over and gazed at Elijah with honey-colored orbs. Eyes swollen and red from bouts of crying, Elijah’s hand cupped his friend’s cheek, as anguish ripped through him. His inability to honor his matrimonial vows had set this bright soul on a path of suffering. Closing his eyes, he sent up a prayer for wisdom to make everything right. Removing his hand, his eyes widened as long fingers grasped his appendage, holding him in place.
“I'm in love with you.” The husky timbre slid through layers of reserve and touched Elijah’s closeted heart. It leapt in response as he drowned in the eyes of his closest friend. Nothing would ever be the same.
“I have a bad cold. It seems to want to stick around.” The hoarseness of his voice surprised Elijah. “I've been a little nauseous lately, nothing major.” A bout of wheezing shook Anthony’s body, giving lie to the words he’d just spoken. His hand rose and waved away any comment Elijah would’ve made. “Just a cough, it comes and goes.” He tucked his hands between his thighs and curled into a ball, leaving Elijah with the impression he wanted to be left alone. Well, he’d grant him the unspoken request in a minute. Right now he needed to be sure his friend had everything he needed to recover.
“What're you taking for it?”
“I've got some cold meds.” This time the voice sounded bored, distant, and for some reason that hurt. “A couple of choir members brought some stuff yesterday. I'll be okay.” He curled tighter, appearing vulnerable.
“I know you'll be okay.” He hadn't meant to snap, but it seemed lately he got everything wrong. His wife wanted kids. His fear of being a worse parent than his father, Bishop Pace, kept him in a state of limbo. He wasn't ready. His father wanted him to take the church in a certain direction. They disagreed. The result was constant friction. This attraction for his best friend came at the worst possible time. Although, when was the right time to want another man, especially when you were his boss, his Pastor?
Eyes closed, he wished he could turn back the clock to before they'd acted on their feelings six weeks ago. It had started with a hug, a kiss, and then mind-blowing sex. How could anything that good, that intense, be wrong? Nonetheless, afterwards, they'd both felt bad and never discussed what happened that afternoon. Cheating on his wife weighed heavily on his conscience. They’d avoided being alone until today.
Elijah sat on the edge of the bed as he'd done so many times before. With their recent past between them, it seemed awkward. Years of easy-going camaraderie vanished as the reality of their actions burrowed into their minds.
“Talk to me, what's really going on?” As much as he hated opening the door, he knew they needed to clear the air so they could move forward.
“Why should I? What difference would it make?” He cleared his throat before blowing his nose. “Just let it go. It doesn't matter much anyway.”
Elijah watched the back of Anthony's head. Without thinking, he stroked the soft curls, cheeks, and forehead of his friend’s face. The slight tremor beneath his palm and hitch of breath said more than words how much his friend hurt.
“Talk to me.” He squeezed a bare shoulder. “I'm here now, what's wrong?”
Slowly, he rolled over and gazed at Elijah with honey-colored orbs. Eyes swollen and red from bouts of crying, Elijah’s hand cupped his friend’s cheek, as anguish ripped through him. His inability to honor his matrimonial vows had set this bright soul on a path of suffering. Closing his eyes, he sent up a prayer for wisdom to make everything right. Removing his hand, his eyes widened as long fingers grasped his appendage, holding him in place.
“I'm in love with you.” The husky timbre slid through layers of reserve and touched Elijah’s closeted heart. It leapt in response as he drowned in the eyes of his closest friend. Nothing would ever be the same.
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