Lucky Leonardo by Jonathan D. Canter

question.”
    He: “As usual, you didn’t hear my answer to your question because you didn’t like my answer.”
    Leonardo: “Good morning. Please come in.”
    They entered his office and sat down in their customary chairs.
    She: “We were walking through the rose garden in the Arboretum, which was bare, and prepared for winter. I said, ‘Too bad we’re not here when the roses are in bloom.’”
    He: “And I said, ‘We’re here today. The park is beautiful today, even though there are no roses in bloom. It’s beautiful for the season that this is. It’s austere beauty. Why can’t you just enjoy it for what it is? Why can’t you just enjoy being here today? Especially when this is the closest thing to a fucking date we’ve had in three months.’”
    She: “And I said, ‘Sweetheart, why can’t you respond to what I just said, like, “Yes, dear, I bet it’s beautiful when the roses are in bloom,” instead of giving me a lecture on how stupid I am.’”
    He: “Because I disagreed with you. I was happy enough to walk in the park then and there. I thought you should be too.”
    She: “You’re so nuts.”
    He: “You’re so nuts.”
    Leonardo: “Would you like my opinion on who’s most nuts?”
    She and He: “Yes.”
    Leonardo: “This particular time or in general?”
    She: “This particular time.”
    He: “In general.”
    Leonardo: “You think one of you might be most nuts in general and the other most nuts this particular time?”
    She and He: “…Umm.”
    Leonardo: “So it’s possible there’s more than one nut in this marriage?”
    She and He: “…Umm.”
    Leonardo: “Well, let’s start there…”
    Attorney Stern did call back. Leonardo saw the light blinking on his private line, and figured it was her, and wished to take the call, but at the time his people were huffing and puffing to reach a point of harmony—which they never quite reached, but who knew?—so he let the call go. The blinking stopped. He was sadder than he thought he should be when the blinking stopped.
    Leonardo, you must stop the intrusive thinking. You must stop the intrusive thinking…
    But she did leave a message. She would be in. Please call back.
    Which he did.
    â€œAttorney Stern.”
    â€œIs she in?”
    â€œThis is Attorney Stern.”
    â€œI am…I want…I uhhh…” He spoke like a dope, but succeeded in scheduling a meeting for three o’clock that afternoon at her office, which turned out to be in the suburban professional building next to the Starbucks where Chrissie worked, not far from where he lived.
    Chrissie wasn’t working that afternoon, because of her yoga class, which meant he wouldn’t have to explain or fake explain what he was doing if she happened to see his car parked out front. Chrissie was asking for explanations recently. Starting with the night of the DeltaTek trauma, when he stood her up.
    â€”——
    Chrissie had plans for that night. First, she made reservations at the Capital Grille. “What the fuck, it’s his money,” she told Helen, her Starbucks girlfriend and relationship consultant who liked to bad-mouth Leonardo. Second, she invited her mother down from New Hampshire as a surprise dinner guest. Leonardo didn’t know she had a mother.
    By introducing her mother into the mix Chrissie wasn’t, she told Helen, dreaming about vows, commitments, community property, meeting his folks, or anything of the sort. It was just that she’d been seeing this older man for close to six months, once a week or twice a week, going to concerts, movies, out to dinner, having sex, sleeping over his house a few nights when his son wasn’t around, never seeing any of his friends, assuming he had any friends, never seeing any