Lumberjack (A Real Man, 1) by Jenika Snow

but I wasn’t going to make an ass out of myself and presume anything. I wanted her, but I wanted her to own it as much as I was.
    I took a step forward and looked down at her. Her eyes were big, this light blue color, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her senseless right now. Instead, I just said what I needed to in order for her to understand where I was coming from.
    “The last day has been pretty fucking incredible.”
    I heard her inhale, and then she nodded. “It has.” Her voice was soft, maybe like she was hesitant to say anything.
    “I don’t know you all that well...” I had to smirk, because although I knew her pretty damn intimately, I was sure she knew what I meant. “And you don’t really know me, but I’d like to change that.” This was a long shot in seeing if she wanted anything more to do with me than what we’d shared, but I was willing to lay it out bare for her.
    “You haven’t been with a woman in—”
    “That has nothing to do with what I want from you, and how I want to get to know you better.” And it didn’t, I knew that, felt it in my bones. “Before I moved up here I had a girlfriend, thought I was in love even. I did the city thing, the crowded streets and population. I was stuck and didn’t see my life going forward the way I wanted it to.” Why I was opening myself up to this woman I hardly knew was beyond me, but I wasn’t going to let her go without explaining it. She made me feel good, and I wanted to hold onto that. “After the betrayal, I left her and everything else behind. I didn’t want any of that shit anymore, even if I’d never seen them again, I just wanted to leave.”
    “I...” she stopped talking and looked away.
    Well, fuck. I scrubbed a hand over my beard and breathed out. I hadn’t been with a woman in so long, I must be doing something wrong.
    “This is fast,” was her response after a few seconds.
    “Yeah,” was all I said, because it was the truth. She didn’t say anything else as she put on her clothes, and the awkwardness seemed to jump in that small time. I’d been inside of her, for fuck sake, so why this silence was awkward was beyond me. “Come on, let me get some food into you.” I’d let this go, for now, because I had just dropped a lot in her lap all at once.
    But I knew one thing; I couldn’t just let her go for good, even if she said this was a one-time deal. If she needed time, fine, I’d give her that. But I wouldn’t stay away forever.
    I’d had a taste of her, and now I was fucking addicted.
    She was mine.

Chapter Nine

    Vivian
    T en days later
    I stood by my window, stared down at the bustling city beneath me, and felt this oppression fill me. I’d been back home in the city for only a few days, and I felt like I was living in a coffin. After Jake had taken me back to my cabin, it had taken everything in me not to pull Jake into the cabin and spend the rest of my vacation tangled in the sheets with him. But I needed to think, and I had to get my shit in order.
    But being back in the city—only three days in—and I was miserable. It just made me feel like I was underwater, and I couldn’t hold my breath long enough to reach the surface.
    I turned from the window just as a line of cars started honking at each other. Even thought the glass and walls, it sounded loud and suffocating. Since leaving Jake’s place, he’s all I’ve thought about, all I wanted to think about.
    Grabbing my cell, I pulled up the app for my bank, entered in my information, and stared at my savings balance. Not really having a life aside of work for the last decade, and putting everything extra I made into my savings, I had a nice nest egg. I’d been putting that money away in hopes of one day buying my own place. As the years passed, I just couldn’t find the energy to make the commitment to get that house while still having to come into the city.
    I tossed my phone on the coffee table, rested my head back on the couch cushion, and