hearing. I refused to believe that shit!
“Yo, Sallie!” I barked. Mrs. Singletary was looking at me like I was crazy but I didn’t care. “Sallie…” I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. “I don’t know nothing about no Feds, but I’m telling you, mothafucka! I’m gonna need you to send me some of my goddamn money, outta my fuckin’ safe! ”
“ What fuckin’ money?” Slick Sallie’s voice was colder and slicker than shit as he hung up in my face. “ What fuckin’ safe?”
$$$$$
At first I felt so ass-out that I just wanted to kill myself. Of course I clicked over to a dial tone and punched in Renata’s number right away, but as soon as it started ringing I hung up again. I knew Sallie was gonna try to keep all my money, but what if he was right about the Feds? What if they had Renata’s phone tapped and they were just waiting for me to call, waiting to draw a solid line between me and her so they could take her down too? I couldn’t risk doing that to her. As fucked up as my situation was and as much as I needed some help, I just couldn’t do it.
For the next two days straight all I did was cry and blow up Sallie’s cell over and over again. He never even answered that shit. His phone just kept rolling straight to voicemail, and by the fourth day it was full and wouldn’t even take no more messages.
My soul felt stripped and bare. No matter how I looked at things in my head, I was fucked. And not only was I fucked, I was also broke, hunted, and living in a homeless shelter way in Brooklyn with nowhere else to turn.
Mrs. Singletary had put me in a room with some other homeless chick, but I didn’t talk to her and she didn’t talk to me neither. Matter fact, she barely even looked at me, and I figured she probably thought I was laying there crying over some niggah who had beat my ass and kicked me out on the streets, but of course she was dead wrong.
The shelter was full of people coming and going, but I kept to myself and stayed mostly in my bed for those first few days. I felt so beaten down and depressed that I just didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t go back to California, and I couldn’t go back to Harlem neither. I didn’t have a phone, and I damn sure didn’t have a plan.
It took me a minute, but I finally broke down and called Rita. I ran down all the shit that Flex had done to me and told her where I was staying, and she cursed me out for not calling her right away so she could come get me.
“You can stay with me, Juicy. Nooni’s bedroom is empty, chica, and it’s all yours. Every damn thing I have is yours if you need it.”
“No, Rita, no,” I begged her. Even with Nooni gone she still had her little sister Chub to worry about. “I’m not coming back to Harlem. I’m way too scared. Plus, I wouldn’t feel right putting you in no bag.”
She started crying.
“I’m just so fuckin’ sorry, Juicy,” she apologized through her sobs. “I’m the one who put you in this situation in the first place! All of this shit is my fault. I shoulda never let you come back here. If you wanna go back to California I’ll come up with the money and buy you a plane ticket back, okay?”
Both of us knew that wasn’t gonna work. Hell, I could have called Renata and asked her to get me a plane ticket back to the West coast, but what the hell was I gonna do when I got there? Where was I gonna hide? The Feds were after me and somebody had blown up my fuckin’ car! My ass wasn’t no safer out there than I was right here.
Grandmother popped into my mind. I felt her presence within me so deep that it made my bones ache. I could see every line on her wise old face. Every crease in her overworked hands. She was in my bones, but she was also in my ear too. I could hear her telling me to just be still. To trust God and to be still.
And what choice did I really have? I couldn’t have moved if I wanted to. So I decided to give myself a couple of days until my ankle
“Yo, Sallie!” I barked. Mrs. Singletary was looking at me like I was crazy but I didn’t care. “Sallie…” I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. “I don’t know nothing about no Feds, but I’m telling you, mothafucka! I’m gonna need you to send me some of my goddamn money, outta my fuckin’ safe! ”
“ What fuckin’ money?” Slick Sallie’s voice was colder and slicker than shit as he hung up in my face. “ What fuckin’ safe?”
$$$$$
At first I felt so ass-out that I just wanted to kill myself. Of course I clicked over to a dial tone and punched in Renata’s number right away, but as soon as it started ringing I hung up again. I knew Sallie was gonna try to keep all my money, but what if he was right about the Feds? What if they had Renata’s phone tapped and they were just waiting for me to call, waiting to draw a solid line between me and her so they could take her down too? I couldn’t risk doing that to her. As fucked up as my situation was and as much as I needed some help, I just couldn’t do it.
For the next two days straight all I did was cry and blow up Sallie’s cell over and over again. He never even answered that shit. His phone just kept rolling straight to voicemail, and by the fourth day it was full and wouldn’t even take no more messages.
My soul felt stripped and bare. No matter how I looked at things in my head, I was fucked. And not only was I fucked, I was also broke, hunted, and living in a homeless shelter way in Brooklyn with nowhere else to turn.
Mrs. Singletary had put me in a room with some other homeless chick, but I didn’t talk to her and she didn’t talk to me neither. Matter fact, she barely even looked at me, and I figured she probably thought I was laying there crying over some niggah who had beat my ass and kicked me out on the streets, but of course she was dead wrong.
The shelter was full of people coming and going, but I kept to myself and stayed mostly in my bed for those first few days. I felt so beaten down and depressed that I just didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t go back to California, and I couldn’t go back to Harlem neither. I didn’t have a phone, and I damn sure didn’t have a plan.
It took me a minute, but I finally broke down and called Rita. I ran down all the shit that Flex had done to me and told her where I was staying, and she cursed me out for not calling her right away so she could come get me.
“You can stay with me, Juicy. Nooni’s bedroom is empty, chica, and it’s all yours. Every damn thing I have is yours if you need it.”
“No, Rita, no,” I begged her. Even with Nooni gone she still had her little sister Chub to worry about. “I’m not coming back to Harlem. I’m way too scared. Plus, I wouldn’t feel right putting you in no bag.”
She started crying.
“I’m just so fuckin’ sorry, Juicy,” she apologized through her sobs. “I’m the one who put you in this situation in the first place! All of this shit is my fault. I shoulda never let you come back here. If you wanna go back to California I’ll come up with the money and buy you a plane ticket back, okay?”
Both of us knew that wasn’t gonna work. Hell, I could have called Renata and asked her to get me a plane ticket back to the West coast, but what the hell was I gonna do when I got there? Where was I gonna hide? The Feds were after me and somebody had blown up my fuckin’ car! My ass wasn’t no safer out there than I was right here.
Grandmother popped into my mind. I felt her presence within me so deep that it made my bones ache. I could see every line on her wise old face. Every crease in her overworked hands. She was in my bones, but she was also in my ear too. I could hear her telling me to just be still. To trust God and to be still.
And what choice did I really have? I couldn’t have moved if I wanted to. So I decided to give myself a couple of days until my ankle
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