Lysistrata

Lysistrata by Fletcher Flora Page A

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Authors: Fletcher Flora
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suppose, since you are obviously stupid as well as ugly and vulgar.”
    “Why should she do such a monstrous thing? Furthermore, why should he let her get away with it? Can you answer those questions?”
    “As to why he lets her, I can’t answer. But she is doing it in rebellion against the war. She will not have anything more to do with
him
until he refuses to do with
it.”
    “I’m actually beginning to believe you. Surely you could have no purpose in making up a fantastic tale like this.”
    “It’s true. She’s rebelling against the war.”
    “Well, I am against the war myself, since it made a slave of me, but I declare that this is carrying things too far. If I were the Master, I would know how to lay this rebellion promptly.”
    “That, of course, is the exact remedy, and if you know how to accomplish it, you had better confer with the Master at once, for he apparently doesn’t.”
    “I’ll mind my own business, that’s what I’ll do. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll do the same.”
    “I am not involved, being a slave, but my feelings are on the side of the Mistress. I agree that men have been allowed to behave like idiots in regard to this war far longer than should be essential to their silly pride.”
    “What do you know about the war?”
    “I know a great deal, for the Mistress has instructed me.”
    “It seems to me that the Mistress has been instructing you in a good many matters, directly or indirectly.”
    “That’s true. We are on good terms and frequently exchange pleasantries and even intimacies.”
    “I imagine you are also her private spy and make reports on the activities of the other household slaves.”
    “Do you, really? If so, perhaps you had better mend your manners.”
    “If you don’t want to find yourself simmering in the pot in little pieces, you had better not peddle any tales about
me.”
    “I am tempted, as a matter of fact, to tell her that you pinch and pat my behind in an offensive manner.”
    “In that case, I may as well give you the evidence to prove it.”
    Reaching for her quickly with a strong hand, he gave her a pinch that was calculated to leave a beautiful bruise, and she fled with a squeal from the kitchen.

8
    L YSISTRATA FOUND Calonice, as Theoris had directed, waiting in the court near the statue of Hestia. It was apparent at once, even from a distance, that Calonice was truly in a state of excitement. Her dark eyes sparkled, her body seemed actually to vibrate beneath its peplos, and she looked at Lysistrata as if the latter had somehow undergone metamorphosis since the day before yesterday, becoming in the interim a strange and incredible person.
    “What on earth has happened to you, Calonice?” Lysistrata said. “You look as if you were in danger of exploding at any moment.”
    “I don’t believe it for an instant,” Calonice said. “I didn’t believe you were capable of it when you were advocating such a course for me, and I don’t believe it now.”
    “Will you kindly be good enough to tell me what it is you don’t believe?”
    “You know perfectly well what it is. Acron has told me that you refused accommodation to Lycon. Is it true? If you tell me that it is, I suppose I’ll be compelled to believe it then, but I shall find it difficult.
    “May I ask how Acron happens to be informed on such a matter?”
    “Why, Lycon told him, of course. Or so he claims. How else would he become informed?”
    “I am astonished that he’s informed at all. In fact, it is quite distressing and is further evidence of masculine irresponsibility. Men are always accusing us of having loose tongues, but they themselves cannot retain the most delicate matters. Do you suppose it becomes a topic of conversation in the marketplace every time we make love?”
    “I do wish you wouldn’t try to evade answering my question, Lysistrata. Besides, this is not a case of Lycon’s reporting that you made love, but that you refused to do so. You will

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