have to admit that there’s a distinction.”
“The principle, I think, is the same.”
“Well, you may be as technical as you choose about it, but all I want to know is, is it true or not true?”
“It is perfectly true.”
“That was the night before last, however. I imagine that conditions have changed since then.”
“On the contrary, conditions are exactly the same.”
“It’s absolutely incredible. As I thought, I am having difficulty believing it. Could you possibly have a motive for lying about such a matter?”
“That’s something you will have to determine for yourself, although I feel obligated to say that I resent your attitude somewhat, Calonice. I advised you to adopt such a policy with Acron, and now I have adopted it with Lycon, and that’s all there is to it.”
“What, may I ask, do you hope to gain from such a policy, besides depriving yourself needlessly of simple pleasure which is available, because of the war, all too seldom at best?”
“Perhaps I hope to make it available more frequently. Regularly, as a matter of fact. At any rate, I am determined to play for all or nothing. Lycon will stay sensibly at home and be a husband, or I shall quit being a wife. This is, in my opinion, a perfectly fair position.”
“Suppose he refuses to concede.”
“Then I have no husband, and he has no wife. Since this is a state which prevails most of the time anyhow, the loss would not be nearly so great as might be at first imagined. On the other hand, the gain, if I am successful, will be considerable.”
“I see that you have thought the matter through admirably.”
“If I do say so myself, I believe I have. I have even considered the consequences if all the wives of Athens were to follow my example.”
“The first consequence, as I see it, would be to drive all the husbands into the arms of the hetairai and the pornai of the Piraeus immediately. Do you wish us to be replaced entirely by whores?”
“The hetairai and the pornai don’t have enough arms to take care of all the husbands. Besides, such women are not satisfactory indefinitely and would fail to provide adequate compensation. When a man loses a wife, he loses more than a bedmate, as you know. He loses a mother and a housekeeper and a priestess and a minor physician, and most of all he loses what he considers in his heart a piece of property. This is the hardest possible blow to his foolish pride, as well as to his sense of economy.”
“Do you really imagine that the wives of Athens would follow you in such a program?”
“It’s at least conceivable.”
“And if so, do you imagine the husbands would come to terms?”
“That’s also conceivable.”
“What then? Do the Spartans invade Attica and slaughter us all in our beds while we are making up lost time?”
“You are pursuing the same line of questioning as Lycon last night, and I will give you the same answer. It would be necessary, of course, to arrange matters so that the Spartans would be occupied at home as we would be. Also the Boeotians and all the other parties to this stupid and boring war.”
“Under the same kind of coercion?”
“Precisely.”
“A world revolution of wives?”
“All the world of immediate consequence to us, at any rate.”
“Lysistrata, I declare that you are suffering from delusions of grandeur.”
“Not at all. I conceive of women united in good sense, which is surely no more impossible than the union for twenty years of men in idiocy.”
“Do you expect the men to capitulate immediately?”
“Not immediately.”
“After how long?”
“I’ll not venture an exact prediction. Sooner than you might think, I dare say.”
“It would require organization and simultaneous action.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“I cannot think how you even begin to accomplish it.”
“Are you afraid?”
“Yes, I am. I admit that also. Acron would certainly beat me unmercifully and do as he pleased in spite of my
“The principle, I think, is the same.”
“Well, you may be as technical as you choose about it, but all I want to know is, is it true or not true?”
“It is perfectly true.”
“That was the night before last, however. I imagine that conditions have changed since then.”
“On the contrary, conditions are exactly the same.”
“It’s absolutely incredible. As I thought, I am having difficulty believing it. Could you possibly have a motive for lying about such a matter?”
“That’s something you will have to determine for yourself, although I feel obligated to say that I resent your attitude somewhat, Calonice. I advised you to adopt such a policy with Acron, and now I have adopted it with Lycon, and that’s all there is to it.”
“What, may I ask, do you hope to gain from such a policy, besides depriving yourself needlessly of simple pleasure which is available, because of the war, all too seldom at best?”
“Perhaps I hope to make it available more frequently. Regularly, as a matter of fact. At any rate, I am determined to play for all or nothing. Lycon will stay sensibly at home and be a husband, or I shall quit being a wife. This is, in my opinion, a perfectly fair position.”
“Suppose he refuses to concede.”
“Then I have no husband, and he has no wife. Since this is a state which prevails most of the time anyhow, the loss would not be nearly so great as might be at first imagined. On the other hand, the gain, if I am successful, will be considerable.”
“I see that you have thought the matter through admirably.”
“If I do say so myself, I believe I have. I have even considered the consequences if all the wives of Athens were to follow my example.”
“The first consequence, as I see it, would be to drive all the husbands into the arms of the hetairai and the pornai of the Piraeus immediately. Do you wish us to be replaced entirely by whores?”
“The hetairai and the pornai don’t have enough arms to take care of all the husbands. Besides, such women are not satisfactory indefinitely and would fail to provide adequate compensation. When a man loses a wife, he loses more than a bedmate, as you know. He loses a mother and a housekeeper and a priestess and a minor physician, and most of all he loses what he considers in his heart a piece of property. This is the hardest possible blow to his foolish pride, as well as to his sense of economy.”
“Do you really imagine that the wives of Athens would follow you in such a program?”
“It’s at least conceivable.”
“And if so, do you imagine the husbands would come to terms?”
“That’s also conceivable.”
“What then? Do the Spartans invade Attica and slaughter us all in our beds while we are making up lost time?”
“You are pursuing the same line of questioning as Lycon last night, and I will give you the same answer. It would be necessary, of course, to arrange matters so that the Spartans would be occupied at home as we would be. Also the Boeotians and all the other parties to this stupid and boring war.”
“Under the same kind of coercion?”
“Precisely.”
“A world revolution of wives?”
“All the world of immediate consequence to us, at any rate.”
“Lysistrata, I declare that you are suffering from delusions of grandeur.”
“Not at all. I conceive of women united in good sense, which is surely no more impossible than the union for twenty years of men in idiocy.”
“Do you expect the men to capitulate immediately?”
“Not immediately.”
“After how long?”
“I’ll not venture an exact prediction. Sooner than you might think, I dare say.”
“It would require organization and simultaneous action.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“I cannot think how you even begin to accomplish it.”
“Are you afraid?”
“Yes, I am. I admit that also. Acron would certainly beat me unmercifully and do as he pleased in spite of my
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