to place with silver in the ground. Empress’s tracker could
not find her there. Too much silver.”
The pieces all started to put themselves together.
“Wait, I just was talking to someone on The Other Side who
owned a stinky necklace. She said it was just stolen.”
“Empress necklace has been stolen from washerwoman's
granddaughter?” yelled Xiaoming. He let loose on a string of expletives that
I’m sure would have been jarring to even my delicate ears if I spoke Cantonese.
I breathed deep as he paused long enough to light up another smoke.
“I’ll get it back, dude,” I said, holding up my palms to
try and get him to chill the fuck out. "The police have me on the case.
I'm tracking it down. I already got the genie who was after it."
Xiaoming exhaled an angry plume, "Hopefully genie
stole it and will take it to The Dark Dimension where belong. That magic never
supposed to be on Earth. That is why washerwoman granddaughter was supposed to
keep it safe on Other Side. She shames her family."
"I'll make sure to pass that along to her," I
said. “Listen, hopefully this is all nothing. My dad is probably off picking
up the jade comb or the quartz comb or whatever and I'll get the necklace and
that will be that.”
Xiaoming picked a tobacco leaf off his tongue and wiped it
on the tablecloth before continuing, “He bring werewolves to my apartment.”
“Sorry about that,” I said, not quite sure what he expected
me to do. “I'm glad you weren't bitten."
"My lions are best protectors in China. They would
not let stupid werewolf bite me."
"Well, that's great," I said, trying to figure
out how to get this conversation back on the track of where my dad might be,
"So, the werewolves came and they fought and then my dad…?”
“Poof! He gone.”
“That doesn’t help a whole lot, Xiaoming. Poof? Was he
injured? Did he say where he was going?”
“He fine. My lions fight werewolves. He leave. They
leave. Now, you leave. Go find combs and hide them. Get Empress necklace
back and give it to washerwoman’s granddaughter or to genie.”
“How about I find my dad and make sure he’s okay first,
Xiaoming…” I offered.
“This is your fault. You must make better.”
“This is totally NOT my fault.”
“I help you and your father and you bring werewolves to my
house and make lions angry. You get the combs and necklace of Empress.”
“How about YOU get the combs and necklace of Empress,
Xiaoming.”
“I am portal to China. If I leave, portal will collapse.”
"Xiaoming, you are full of moo shu pork."
"You know so much about portal to China, wise guy? You
not even know how to jump in same world. You going to tell me how it
works?" he glared at me.
I pointed out, "You left your apartment just a few
weeks ago to haul Killian and I out of Chinatown on your silver handcart. You
can leave just fine."
"That different."
"You head out to play poker with my priest, Father
Killarney, on a regular basis."
"I am on schedule now."
"Oh, so you're suddenly on some sort of important
portal schedule?"
"It my shift. If I leave, portal to China will collapse."
I wasn’t going to argue with him, it was a losing battle, “Okay,
Xiaoming, I’ll find the fucking combs. AND the necklace. Where would you
suggest I begin?”
“Where washerwoman hid them.”
“Xiaoming, she hid those combs over a hundred years ago.”
“Then you start looking now, lazy.”
Chapter 12
There was no way I’d get all the way out to Calico before
nightfall just to see if I could catch some 100-year old magical trail which
may or may not be there. Besides, after the little incident with the mummies,
I felt the need for backup before I went driving out into the middle of nowhere
to track down a "harmless" hair ornament. Just as I was getting into
my car, though, my phone rang. It was Dad.
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?!?” I shouted at the
not find her there. Too much silver.”
The pieces all started to put themselves together.
“Wait, I just was talking to someone on The Other Side who
owned a stinky necklace. She said it was just stolen.”
“Empress necklace has been stolen from washerwoman's
granddaughter?” yelled Xiaoming. He let loose on a string of expletives that
I’m sure would have been jarring to even my delicate ears if I spoke Cantonese.
I breathed deep as he paused long enough to light up another smoke.
“I’ll get it back, dude,” I said, holding up my palms to
try and get him to chill the fuck out. "The police have me on the case.
I'm tracking it down. I already got the genie who was after it."
Xiaoming exhaled an angry plume, "Hopefully genie
stole it and will take it to The Dark Dimension where belong. That magic never
supposed to be on Earth. That is why washerwoman granddaughter was supposed to
keep it safe on Other Side. She shames her family."
"I'll make sure to pass that along to her," I
said. “Listen, hopefully this is all nothing. My dad is probably off picking
up the jade comb or the quartz comb or whatever and I'll get the necklace and
that will be that.”
Xiaoming picked a tobacco leaf off his tongue and wiped it
on the tablecloth before continuing, “He bring werewolves to my apartment.”
“Sorry about that,” I said, not quite sure what he expected
me to do. “I'm glad you weren't bitten."
"My lions are best protectors in China. They would
not let stupid werewolf bite me."
"Well, that's great," I said, trying to figure
out how to get this conversation back on the track of where my dad might be,
"So, the werewolves came and they fought and then my dad…?”
“Poof! He gone.”
“That doesn’t help a whole lot, Xiaoming. Poof? Was he
injured? Did he say where he was going?”
“He fine. My lions fight werewolves. He leave. They
leave. Now, you leave. Go find combs and hide them. Get Empress necklace
back and give it to washerwoman’s granddaughter or to genie.”
“How about I find my dad and make sure he’s okay first,
Xiaoming…” I offered.
“This is your fault. You must make better.”
“This is totally NOT my fault.”
“I help you and your father and you bring werewolves to my
house and make lions angry. You get the combs and necklace of Empress.”
“How about YOU get the combs and necklace of Empress,
Xiaoming.”
“I am portal to China. If I leave, portal will collapse.”
"Xiaoming, you are full of moo shu pork."
"You know so much about portal to China, wise guy? You
not even know how to jump in same world. You going to tell me how it
works?" he glared at me.
I pointed out, "You left your apartment just a few
weeks ago to haul Killian and I out of Chinatown on your silver handcart. You
can leave just fine."
"That different."
"You head out to play poker with my priest, Father
Killarney, on a regular basis."
"I am on schedule now."
"Oh, so you're suddenly on some sort of important
portal schedule?"
"It my shift. If I leave, portal to China will collapse."
I wasn’t going to argue with him, it was a losing battle, “Okay,
Xiaoming, I’ll find the fucking combs. AND the necklace. Where would you
suggest I begin?”
“Where washerwoman hid them.”
“Xiaoming, she hid those combs over a hundred years ago.”
“Then you start looking now, lazy.”
Chapter 12
There was no way I’d get all the way out to Calico before
nightfall just to see if I could catch some 100-year old magical trail which
may or may not be there. Besides, after the little incident with the mummies,
I felt the need for backup before I went driving out into the middle of nowhere
to track down a "harmless" hair ornament. Just as I was getting into
my car, though, my phone rang. It was Dad.
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?!?” I shouted at the
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