stairs creaked with every step I made.
Finally I was downstairs. I stood for a moment and listened for noises that could tell me where Auntie was, but all was silent and I walked to the kitchen.
I knocked on the door and carefully pushed it open. It was nice and warm in the kitchen and my eyes were immediately drawn to the stove. The warmth radiating from it was so pleasant, and I realized that Auntie must have been up for a while already. I closed the door softly behind me and walked into the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked pancakes hung in the air. Pancakes! When was the last time I had eaten pancakes?
On the table was a note. I went to see what it said. ’I’m looking after the pigs. I’ll be right back. ’
I looked out the window, half expecting to see Auntie, but the window was too small and the distance to the pig house too far. Besides, Auntie was most likely still in there. Should I go and see her?
Meekly I sat down on the edge of a chair. I kept my legs demurely together and lay my hands in my lap.
What would Auntie say when she returned? I could tell that she had been up for hours already while I had been in bed sleeping all that time. Of course she would ask questions. Again, I looked out the window, afraid I would see her coming already. I was afraid that she’d come straight at me with large, determined steps. I expected her to ask me after the father of the child and she naturally would want to know how far along I was. She would chastise me, discipline me and maybe even call me names. My hands began a life of their own and started to pull on the fringes of the tablecloth. With quick movements they made a little braid. When it was done my fingers took three more strands to make another braid.
’Have you got a touch of the flu, Maria?’ Mrs. Kleut’s remark sounded innocent enough, but she hung over the counter in a curiously interested manner and she took a good look at me. Her smile seemed insincere and I felt my cheeks burn.
‘You’re looking a bit under the weather lately.’
‘Mother would like a pound of sugar.’ I said.
‘Anything else?’
‘Flour.’
‘How much would you like, Maria?’
‘One pound, no, two.’
I pushed my hands into my coat pockets and stretched myself as long as I could while trying to suck in my stomach.
‘Have you seen Helène lately, Maria?
‘What do you mean?’
‘Oh well, you know. That woman from the west side.’ Mrs Kleut shook her head toward the west side. She didn’t wait for my response, but hissed at me: ‘They say she’s pregnant again.’
She looked at me with her eyebrows raised suggestively.
I did not know what to say, so I just put the money on the counter and took my groceries. Without saying goodbye I rushed out the store. I tripped at the entrance but managed to keep my balance. The sugar started to slip from my hands and almost fell. I managed to hold the package in place with my chin. After a little ways I stopped and knelt down to rearrange my groceries. My fingers were trembling and I held on tightly to each paper bag to make sure that nothing would fall. Mrs. Kleut’s words echoed in my head. Helène is pregnant. Pregnant. The horrible truth, which became more and more clear to me, made me shiver.
There were twelve small braids hanging off the tablecloth when I suddenly heard the clip-clop of wooden shoes. A quick glance at the window told me that Auntie was on her way. I feverishly started to pick at the braids trying to untangle them. I was sure Auntie would be angry with me if she saw what I had been doing. I had to make sure she wouldn’t see any of it.
‘Good morning, Maria!’
‘Good morning, Auntie Be.’ I wasn’t quite finished taking the braids apart, and, while fumbling clumsily, I tried to position myself in front of them.
‘Did you sleep well?’
‘Oh, yes, I did. Thank you.’
‘What are you fumbling with your hands, do you always braid the fringes of tablecloths?’
‘I… I’m sorry…
Finally I was downstairs. I stood for a moment and listened for noises that could tell me where Auntie was, but all was silent and I walked to the kitchen.
I knocked on the door and carefully pushed it open. It was nice and warm in the kitchen and my eyes were immediately drawn to the stove. The warmth radiating from it was so pleasant, and I realized that Auntie must have been up for a while already. I closed the door softly behind me and walked into the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked pancakes hung in the air. Pancakes! When was the last time I had eaten pancakes?
On the table was a note. I went to see what it said. ’I’m looking after the pigs. I’ll be right back. ’
I looked out the window, half expecting to see Auntie, but the window was too small and the distance to the pig house too far. Besides, Auntie was most likely still in there. Should I go and see her?
Meekly I sat down on the edge of a chair. I kept my legs demurely together and lay my hands in my lap.
What would Auntie say when she returned? I could tell that she had been up for hours already while I had been in bed sleeping all that time. Of course she would ask questions. Again, I looked out the window, afraid I would see her coming already. I was afraid that she’d come straight at me with large, determined steps. I expected her to ask me after the father of the child and she naturally would want to know how far along I was. She would chastise me, discipline me and maybe even call me names. My hands began a life of their own and started to pull on the fringes of the tablecloth. With quick movements they made a little braid. When it was done my fingers took three more strands to make another braid.
’Have you got a touch of the flu, Maria?’ Mrs. Kleut’s remark sounded innocent enough, but she hung over the counter in a curiously interested manner and she took a good look at me. Her smile seemed insincere and I felt my cheeks burn.
‘You’re looking a bit under the weather lately.’
‘Mother would like a pound of sugar.’ I said.
‘Anything else?’
‘Flour.’
‘How much would you like, Maria?’
‘One pound, no, two.’
I pushed my hands into my coat pockets and stretched myself as long as I could while trying to suck in my stomach.
‘Have you seen Helène lately, Maria?
‘What do you mean?’
‘Oh well, you know. That woman from the west side.’ Mrs Kleut shook her head toward the west side. She didn’t wait for my response, but hissed at me: ‘They say she’s pregnant again.’
She looked at me with her eyebrows raised suggestively.
I did not know what to say, so I just put the money on the counter and took my groceries. Without saying goodbye I rushed out the store. I tripped at the entrance but managed to keep my balance. The sugar started to slip from my hands and almost fell. I managed to hold the package in place with my chin. After a little ways I stopped and knelt down to rearrange my groceries. My fingers were trembling and I held on tightly to each paper bag to make sure that nothing would fall. Mrs. Kleut’s words echoed in my head. Helène is pregnant. Pregnant. The horrible truth, which became more and more clear to me, made me shiver.
There were twelve small braids hanging off the tablecloth when I suddenly heard the clip-clop of wooden shoes. A quick glance at the window told me that Auntie was on her way. I feverishly started to pick at the braids trying to untangle them. I was sure Auntie would be angry with me if she saw what I had been doing. I had to make sure she wouldn’t see any of it.
‘Good morning, Maria!’
‘Good morning, Auntie Be.’ I wasn’t quite finished taking the braids apart, and, while fumbling clumsily, I tried to position myself in front of them.
‘Did you sleep well?’
‘Oh, yes, I did. Thank you.’
‘What are you fumbling with your hands, do you always braid the fringes of tablecloths?’
‘I… I’m sorry…
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