not, anyway.
Daniel was still watching her as she approached. “Are you
tired?” he asked. She couldn’t read the expression in his eyes.
She shrugged. “A little. Not too bad.” She’d been exhausted
earlier, during the reception, but now she felt too wired and jittery to be
tired. “What about you?”
“I’m fine.”
“What are you reading?”
“Bonheoffer.”
She gave a breathy laugh. “A little light reading before
bed?”
“He’s pretty compelling.”
“I’m sure. You can keep reading if you want. The light won’t
bother me.”
She felt rather adrift all of a sudden, though. She’d
assumed they’d have sex tonight, but maybe Daniel would rather read.
She wasn’t anyone’s dream wife, after all. She thought she
was attractive enough, but she doubted any man had ever had sexual fantasies
about her. They usually didn’t think about her at all.
When he just looked at her some more, she gulped.
“Seriously. You can read, if you’d rather…”
“If I’d rather read than what?”
Her cheeks warmed, but she was determined to be adult and
mature about this topic. “Well, I was thinking we might…we might have sex. But
we really don’t have to.”
“I didn’t know if you’d want to right away.” He placed the
book on the nightstand, which was an immense relief. At least he didn’t prefer
Bonheoffer to having sex with her. “We can take some time to get used to things
before we have sex, if you’d be more comfortable with that.”
She gave him a faint smile. “We’ve known each other all our
lives. I know you. I trust you. Sex is one of the…one of the perks of marriage,
so I figure there’s no reason to wait. Unless you don’t want to.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to?”
“I don’t know.”
“I could ask you the same thing. We’ve always just been
friends, and I’m not any sort of dream man. I didn’t even know if you’d be
attracted to me.”
She realized he was serious—that he had no idea how
incredibly handsome and irresistible and sexy he was. And not just to her.
Women always noticed Daniel.
“You look pretty good to me,” she said without thinking. He
looked more than good without a shirt on, his shoulders broad, his abs tight,
and a scattering of dark hair on his chest that she felt the sudden desire to
touch.
His mouth tightened with suppressed amusement, and she
blushed even deeper. But she pressed on, “But you’ve never been attracted to me ,
so if you’re not…if you’re not into it, that’s totally fine. It won’t hurt my
feelings.”
It might hurt her feelings a little , but she
absolutely wasn’t going to take it personally. If this was going to work, then
they couldn’t put pressure on each other.
“I can be into it. That’s not a problem.”
“Oh. I just didn’t want to assume that cliché about men
always wanting sex, no matter who or what—”
“Don’t assume that cliché. It’s not true. But I can
definitely be into this.”
She raised her eyes in surprise and saw he looked almost
sheepish.
“You look pretty good to me too,” he said, something thicker
in his tone that made her breath hitch.
They smiled at each other—completely understanding each
other—and Jessica’s excitement returned with full force.
“Okay,” she said, feeling pleased and gratified that he was
attracted to her like she was to him. “So we got all this worked out then?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“So sex tonight?”
He nodded, a warm look in his eyes that made her shiver.
“Sex tonight.” Then his expression changed. “Are you a virgin?”
She blinked. “Yeah. You know I believe in waiting until
marriage.”
She knew he believed the same thing. She was pretty sure
Lila was the only woman he’d slept with before tonight.
“I know. But people can believe it and still not be able to
hold themselves to it. I would understand. You know that, right? I mean, I would
never judge—”
“I know. I know that. I know you’d never
Daniel was still watching her as she approached. “Are you
tired?” he asked. She couldn’t read the expression in his eyes.
She shrugged. “A little. Not too bad.” She’d been exhausted
earlier, during the reception, but now she felt too wired and jittery to be
tired. “What about you?”
“I’m fine.”
“What are you reading?”
“Bonheoffer.”
She gave a breathy laugh. “A little light reading before
bed?”
“He’s pretty compelling.”
“I’m sure. You can keep reading if you want. The light won’t
bother me.”
She felt rather adrift all of a sudden, though. She’d
assumed they’d have sex tonight, but maybe Daniel would rather read.
She wasn’t anyone’s dream wife, after all. She thought she
was attractive enough, but she doubted any man had ever had sexual fantasies
about her. They usually didn’t think about her at all.
When he just looked at her some more, she gulped.
“Seriously. You can read, if you’d rather…”
“If I’d rather read than what?”
Her cheeks warmed, but she was determined to be adult and
mature about this topic. “Well, I was thinking we might…we might have sex. But
we really don’t have to.”
“I didn’t know if you’d want to right away.” He placed the
book on the nightstand, which was an immense relief. At least he didn’t prefer
Bonheoffer to having sex with her. “We can take some time to get used to things
before we have sex, if you’d be more comfortable with that.”
She gave him a faint smile. “We’ve known each other all our
lives. I know you. I trust you. Sex is one of the…one of the perks of marriage,
so I figure there’s no reason to wait. Unless you don’t want to.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to?”
“I don’t know.”
“I could ask you the same thing. We’ve always just been
friends, and I’m not any sort of dream man. I didn’t even know if you’d be
attracted to me.”
She realized he was serious—that he had no idea how
incredibly handsome and irresistible and sexy he was. And not just to her.
Women always noticed Daniel.
“You look pretty good to me,” she said without thinking. He
looked more than good without a shirt on, his shoulders broad, his abs tight,
and a scattering of dark hair on his chest that she felt the sudden desire to
touch.
His mouth tightened with suppressed amusement, and she
blushed even deeper. But she pressed on, “But you’ve never been attracted to me ,
so if you’re not…if you’re not into it, that’s totally fine. It won’t hurt my
feelings.”
It might hurt her feelings a little , but she
absolutely wasn’t going to take it personally. If this was going to work, then
they couldn’t put pressure on each other.
“I can be into it. That’s not a problem.”
“Oh. I just didn’t want to assume that cliché about men
always wanting sex, no matter who or what—”
“Don’t assume that cliché. It’s not true. But I can
definitely be into this.”
She raised her eyes in surprise and saw he looked almost
sheepish.
“You look pretty good to me too,” he said, something thicker
in his tone that made her breath hitch.
They smiled at each other—completely understanding each
other—and Jessica’s excitement returned with full force.
“Okay,” she said, feeling pleased and gratified that he was
attracted to her like she was to him. “So we got all this worked out then?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“So sex tonight?”
He nodded, a warm look in his eyes that made her shiver.
“Sex tonight.” Then his expression changed. “Are you a virgin?”
She blinked. “Yeah. You know I believe in waiting until
marriage.”
She knew he believed the same thing. She was pretty sure
Lila was the only woman he’d slept with before tonight.
“I know. But people can believe it and still not be able to
hold themselves to it. I would understand. You know that, right? I mean, I would
never judge—”
“I know. I know that. I know you’d never
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