said. ‘Papa wants me to. It’s just been so long since I was there.’ Then I smiled at her. ‘I wish you were coming too.’
‘I suggested that, but your father says you need to spend time with the family by yourself. If I went, we’d do things together, speak English.’ She frowned. ‘I guess it is only a month. If that wasn’t a return ticket…’
Since I was leaving the next day I risked a message to Tariq. Leaving 4 pakistan in morning, was all I wrote.
He rang immediately. There were none of his usual preliminaries. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Papa’s little surprise—a trip to Azad Kashmir for a month.’
There was a short silence, then, ‘Pakistan.’
‘Yes.’
‘And you want to go?’
I heard the hurt tone in his voice and hesitated. If I hadn’t met Tariq I would love to go to Kashmir for a holiday. ‘Papa really wants me to go. He’s been planning it for ages.’
‘I haven’t heard from you. You blocked my calls.’
‘I’m sorry.’ What could I say? I decided to tell him the truth. ‘Someone saw me at Samuel Collinses party.’
‘I can come and explain.’
He made it sound easy, but he didn’t understand what a traditionalist Papa had become.
‘No. That’s kind, Tariq, but Papa knows you were there too. Best you stay clear of him for a while.’
There was a longer silence. I almost asked if he was still there. Then he said slowly, ‘So he’s still sending you on a trip. Is it a reward for finishing school?’
‘I don’t know.’
Again I felt the unease that had come when Papa first told me about his surprise. Why was he rewarding me when I’d disappointed him so badly? I pushed away the feeling of being sent away in disgrace. Maybe he was sorry for what he’d said to me.
‘I don’t think Azad Kashmir will be the same since the earthquake,’ Tariq said. ‘Where does your family live?’
‘Muzaffarabad.’
‘Take your mobile. You can buy a prepaid phone card, and ringing from there is cheap.’ He paused. ‘I won’t ring you in case it makes trouble for you.’ There was another silence before he spoke again. ‘I’m glad foryou. I hope you have a good time.’ I felt his words wash over me, warm and cleansing. ‘But,’ his voice quietened and I had to strain to hear, ‘I will miss you, Ameera.’
His voice caught on my name and I knew he still cared. What had I been thinking of, not ringing him when I needed him the most?
I echoed his words: ‘I’ll miss you too.’
I should have said that I wouldn’t ring him again; that if Papa knew about this call I wouldn’t be getting a trip. But I couldn’t say it. He hung up while I sat with the phone warm in my hands.
Mum came in when I was transferring my shampoo and conditioner into travel bottles. I’d already packed sanitary items that I mightn’t find in Muzaffarabad.
‘You can’t take any liquids into the cabin with you,’ she said. ‘Terrorism restrictions.’ She slipped me some money. ‘Your father said he’s sent money to your uncle for your keep, but you might not see it. This is in case you need anything personal.’
‘Mum, you’re a treasure.’
We stood leaning against each other. ‘What are they like?’ I asked. ‘I can’t remember them much, except Meena.’
Mum thought for a minute. ‘Your uncle’s an older version of your father. Your Aunt Khushida’s quite a bit younger than Rasheed—you’ll be able to talk to her. Then there’s your Aunt Bibi, your father’s big sister. He is very fond of her—she should be kind to you.’
‘I don’t know what I’d do without you,’ I said, giving her a hug. ‘What if Papa had married someone like Raniya’s mother? I’d have no one to talk to.’
Mum’s tone was dry as she answered. ‘If he had married someone like her, he might not be acting like this now.’ She frowned and looked out the window.
Raniya had said that too; was it true? Raniya’s parents were both practising Muslims but Raniya was allowed to
‘I suggested that, but your father says you need to spend time with the family by yourself. If I went, we’d do things together, speak English.’ She frowned. ‘I guess it is only a month. If that wasn’t a return ticket…’
Since I was leaving the next day I risked a message to Tariq. Leaving 4 pakistan in morning, was all I wrote.
He rang immediately. There were none of his usual preliminaries. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Papa’s little surprise—a trip to Azad Kashmir for a month.’
There was a short silence, then, ‘Pakistan.’
‘Yes.’
‘And you want to go?’
I heard the hurt tone in his voice and hesitated. If I hadn’t met Tariq I would love to go to Kashmir for a holiday. ‘Papa really wants me to go. He’s been planning it for ages.’
‘I haven’t heard from you. You blocked my calls.’
‘I’m sorry.’ What could I say? I decided to tell him the truth. ‘Someone saw me at Samuel Collinses party.’
‘I can come and explain.’
He made it sound easy, but he didn’t understand what a traditionalist Papa had become.
‘No. That’s kind, Tariq, but Papa knows you were there too. Best you stay clear of him for a while.’
There was a longer silence. I almost asked if he was still there. Then he said slowly, ‘So he’s still sending you on a trip. Is it a reward for finishing school?’
‘I don’t know.’
Again I felt the unease that had come when Papa first told me about his surprise. Why was he rewarding me when I’d disappointed him so badly? I pushed away the feeling of being sent away in disgrace. Maybe he was sorry for what he’d said to me.
‘I don’t think Azad Kashmir will be the same since the earthquake,’ Tariq said. ‘Where does your family live?’
‘Muzaffarabad.’
‘Take your mobile. You can buy a prepaid phone card, and ringing from there is cheap.’ He paused. ‘I won’t ring you in case it makes trouble for you.’ There was another silence before he spoke again. ‘I’m glad foryou. I hope you have a good time.’ I felt his words wash over me, warm and cleansing. ‘But,’ his voice quietened and I had to strain to hear, ‘I will miss you, Ameera.’
His voice caught on my name and I knew he still cared. What had I been thinking of, not ringing him when I needed him the most?
I echoed his words: ‘I’ll miss you too.’
I should have said that I wouldn’t ring him again; that if Papa knew about this call I wouldn’t be getting a trip. But I couldn’t say it. He hung up while I sat with the phone warm in my hands.
Mum came in when I was transferring my shampoo and conditioner into travel bottles. I’d already packed sanitary items that I mightn’t find in Muzaffarabad.
‘You can’t take any liquids into the cabin with you,’ she said. ‘Terrorism restrictions.’ She slipped me some money. ‘Your father said he’s sent money to your uncle for your keep, but you might not see it. This is in case you need anything personal.’
‘Mum, you’re a treasure.’
We stood leaning against each other. ‘What are they like?’ I asked. ‘I can’t remember them much, except Meena.’
Mum thought for a minute. ‘Your uncle’s an older version of your father. Your Aunt Khushida’s quite a bit younger than Rasheed—you’ll be able to talk to her. Then there’s your Aunt Bibi, your father’s big sister. He is very fond of her—she should be kind to you.’
‘I don’t know what I’d do without you,’ I said, giving her a hug. ‘What if Papa had married someone like Raniya’s mother? I’d have no one to talk to.’
Mum’s tone was dry as she answered. ‘If he had married someone like her, he might not be acting like this now.’ She frowned and looked out the window.
Raniya had said that too; was it true? Raniya’s parents were both practising Muslims but Raniya was allowed to
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