you?"
"Sure, just let me get changed." Jared stepped back into the bedroom, leaving Kate standing in the hallway.
Kate felt foolish and suddenly wanted to flee to her room. Here she stood attired in wedding night finery, and Jared was going to get dressed. She looked down at herself. Was her figure so bad that even this alluring nightgown couldn’t make her attractive? Could he not see what she was there for? Or would he play ignorant because he didn’t want what she had to offer?
I’m sorry, Lord. I can’t do this . Kate turned, picked up the skirt of her nightgown and ran to her room. Without turning on the lights she tore the nightgown off and flung it into the trash can beside her bed. She grabbed her old sweats and T-shirt from under her pillow and dragged them on. Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks by the time she sat on the edge of her bed, fully dressed. Her hair floated down around her face, mocking her. If there had been a pair of scissors handy, Kate would have cut it all off. For a moment, with the nightgown and her hair all soft and silky around her, she’d felt attractive, but it had been a delusion.
With jerky movements, Kate braided her hair and fastened it at the end before tossing it over her shoulder. With nothing more to occupy her hands, Kate moved to sit on the window seat. She stared out at the full moon shining down. How was she ever going to face Jared in the morning? He was smart enough to realize why she’d been standing at his door dressed in that nightgown. Why hadn’t she been smart enough to realize that he wouldn’t want her?
She hung onto her emotions by a tenuous thread. It was so close to snapping at that moment. So many emotions pu shed against her control and it was all she could do to hang onto them. A tear slipped down her cheek. Kate brushed it away with a rough hand. She wouldn’t cry. She’d had her moment of foolishness and now it was time to put it behind her. She had to leave behind the dreams she’d been hanging on to and work on making a stable home for the children. They needed her to be strong, not weeping or drifting about with her head in the clouds over some dream that couldn’t possibly come true.
" Kate?"
Kate froze. His voice sounded so near. She turned her head and saw him standing a scant three feet away. He’d moved so silently she hadn’t even heard the door open or his approach.
"What are you doing here?" Kate asked before she could stop herself.
"You said you wanted to talk to me." He was dressed now like her, in sweats and a T-shirt.
Kate turned to look back out the window. "I changed my mind. It wasn’t anything important."
The light next to the bed snapped on. "I think it was or you wouldn’t have come to my..."
Kate turned to see why he’d stopped talking. She saw Jared staring at the crumpled satin in the trash can and wished she’d thrown it under the bed instead.
He looked up and caught her gaze, sadness in his eyes. "Ah Katie, I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I ?"
Kate dredged up what was left of her pride. She wasn’t going to make a fool of herself twice in one evening. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."
Jared reached down and pulled the gown from the trash. It slid through his fingers, looking so pristine against the tan of his hands. "Did you buy this just for tonight? You looked beautiful."
Kate was sure her mind was playing tricks on her. Beautiful? Not in this lifetime. She was many things, smart, dependable, hardworking, patient but not beautiful…never beautiful.
"Why did you leave, Kate? I told you I was just going to get changed. I mean, I was standing there in a towel and little else. I didn't want to assume anything. For all I know, you might always sleep in beautiful white lingerie." The corner of his mouth lifted in a lopsided smile and his blue eyes glowed warmly.
A flicker of hope burst to life in Kate’s heart. Was it possible that he hadn’t rejected her?
"Can we start over,
"Sure, just let me get changed." Jared stepped back into the bedroom, leaving Kate standing in the hallway.
Kate felt foolish and suddenly wanted to flee to her room. Here she stood attired in wedding night finery, and Jared was going to get dressed. She looked down at herself. Was her figure so bad that even this alluring nightgown couldn’t make her attractive? Could he not see what she was there for? Or would he play ignorant because he didn’t want what she had to offer?
I’m sorry, Lord. I can’t do this . Kate turned, picked up the skirt of her nightgown and ran to her room. Without turning on the lights she tore the nightgown off and flung it into the trash can beside her bed. She grabbed her old sweats and T-shirt from under her pillow and dragged them on. Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks by the time she sat on the edge of her bed, fully dressed. Her hair floated down around her face, mocking her. If there had been a pair of scissors handy, Kate would have cut it all off. For a moment, with the nightgown and her hair all soft and silky around her, she’d felt attractive, but it had been a delusion.
With jerky movements, Kate braided her hair and fastened it at the end before tossing it over her shoulder. With nothing more to occupy her hands, Kate moved to sit on the window seat. She stared out at the full moon shining down. How was she ever going to face Jared in the morning? He was smart enough to realize why she’d been standing at his door dressed in that nightgown. Why hadn’t she been smart enough to realize that he wouldn’t want her?
She hung onto her emotions by a tenuous thread. It was so close to snapping at that moment. So many emotions pu shed against her control and it was all she could do to hang onto them. A tear slipped down her cheek. Kate brushed it away with a rough hand. She wouldn’t cry. She’d had her moment of foolishness and now it was time to put it behind her. She had to leave behind the dreams she’d been hanging on to and work on making a stable home for the children. They needed her to be strong, not weeping or drifting about with her head in the clouds over some dream that couldn’t possibly come true.
" Kate?"
Kate froze. His voice sounded so near. She turned her head and saw him standing a scant three feet away. He’d moved so silently she hadn’t even heard the door open or his approach.
"What are you doing here?" Kate asked before she could stop herself.
"You said you wanted to talk to me." He was dressed now like her, in sweats and a T-shirt.
Kate turned to look back out the window. "I changed my mind. It wasn’t anything important."
The light next to the bed snapped on. "I think it was or you wouldn’t have come to my..."
Kate turned to see why he’d stopped talking. She saw Jared staring at the crumpled satin in the trash can and wished she’d thrown it under the bed instead.
He looked up and caught her gaze, sadness in his eyes. "Ah Katie, I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I ?"
Kate dredged up what was left of her pride. She wasn’t going to make a fool of herself twice in one evening. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."
Jared reached down and pulled the gown from the trash. It slid through his fingers, looking so pristine against the tan of his hands. "Did you buy this just for tonight? You looked beautiful."
Kate was sure her mind was playing tricks on her. Beautiful? Not in this lifetime. She was many things, smart, dependable, hardworking, patient but not beautiful…never beautiful.
"Why did you leave, Kate? I told you I was just going to get changed. I mean, I was standing there in a towel and little else. I didn't want to assume anything. For all I know, you might always sleep in beautiful white lingerie." The corner of his mouth lifted in a lopsided smile and his blue eyes glowed warmly.
A flicker of hope burst to life in Kate’s heart. Was it possible that he hadn’t rejected her?
"Can we start over,
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