Master for Tonight by Elaine Barris

it and padding
across the floor to him, she took his hand, turning and pulling his
arm behind her, expecting him to follow. She wondered where her
big, bad Master ran off to. He was unmovable as granite. Not
understanding, she dropped his hand and waited for him to say
something. Was that another game? Why wasn’t he talking?
    He looked at her, standing there, confused.
With genuine sorrow in his heart, he was unable to ignore what he
had pushed aside all those nights as he watched her and planned his
taking of her.
    “I am truly an asshole, but I can’t do
this.” He rubbed his hand over his jaw.
    “What?” She had overcome her fears. She had
disregarded every sensible thought in her head. “What are you
talking about?”
    Grabbing a gown, she pulled it on and walked
towards him, moving without hesitation into his space. Her words
came out ominously, “You don’t want me anymore? Is that it? You got
a really good look at me while I slept and decided I’m not pretty
enough for the beautiful, dark lord?” She looked at his chest, as
she couldn’t meet his eyes.
    Holding her arms at her sides, he looked
down at her glowering face, knowing she fought back tears, and he
hated himself for it. He should have known how this was going to
go. He had lied to himself for months that he would be able to
follow through with his ridiculous scheme. He had even influenced
one of the shelter workers to watch over her, assure her safety,
and report on her comings and goings. Helen was her name. That,
though, he didn’t regret in the least.
    When he felt the time was right, he had
ordered Helen to send Kate home, presumably to relax for a while,
but in reality, into his clutches. He really did only plan to spend
the one night with her, making her sleep the entire next day while
her mind processed his removal from her psyche. If he couldn’t keep
her, he didn’t want both of them tormented by their one night of
passion.
    At least, that’s what he had told himself.
But being with her, he realized how convincingly he had lied to
himself. He was in love with her. He wanted to be with her as a
permanent fixture in her life, and his situation was beyond fucked
right then with Evangeline. Each time he had left her over the
years, Evangeline had forced him back to her side as an unwilling
companion.
    “Are you going to answer me?” Kate’s voice
shook with raw emotion as she asked, not looking up, not wanting to
see his eyes.
    He raked his fingers through his hair in
exasperation, both at himself and the sudden turn of the night.
“Kate... It’s so complicated.” He held his hands out, begging her
to listen.
    “Oh. Complicated.” Kate knew what a man
meant when uttering those words to describe his situation.
     
    *
     
    Five years ago, Kate heard the same phrase
from a man she had dated for eight months. The rat came clean after
she ran into him at the grocery store. Her, alone. Him, with his
wife. Stan had told Kate it was his mother’s birthday, and he would
be taking her out for a nice dinner.
    Kate walked down the bread
aisle and saw Stan, so of course, she went to say ‘hello’ to him.
As she sauntered to him with an extra bump in her hips, his eyes
went wide in shock at seeing her, and he asked, “What are you
doing here ?”
    Her eyebrows stitched in confusion as a
blonde rounded the next aisle, sidled up next to him, and wrapped
her arm around his waist.
    “You two know each other, babe?” the woman
asked as she placed some items into the basket Stan held in the
crook of his arm.
    “Yeah, honey. This is Kate.
Kate Collins. From the shelter? I went to the benefit last year
because you couldn’t make it. She helps out there.” His eyes bore
into Kate’s with the message, Don’t say
anything! written all over them.
    “Oh! Yes!” Stan’s wife said, reaching out to
shake Kate’s hand. “One of the kids was sick that night, and I
couldn’t go.”
    Kate found her voice to say, “Well, it looks
like you have a