that’s when I realized I wasn’t alone, after all. Dr. Simon Dulur hadn’t left me. He was still there, but he was lying on a dental chair, and he wasn’t breathing. At least I didn’t think he could be breathing, not without a face. And Dr. Dulur didn’t have a face.
Chapter 4
I s there a sign on my head? Do I walk around with a neon sign telling you I like french fries dipped in chocolate shakes? Do I have a billboard on my chest saying I can’t stand men who pick their teeth after dinner? No! So you don’t know me. I don’t have a label. You know what I mean, dolly? People don’t have labels. They don’t have signs over their heads. Nobody comes with a set of instructions or an owner’s manual. You can’t figure out a person just by looking at him. Or her. Throw away the stereotypes. If you think you see a label, remember it’s only a mirage, like an oasis in the desert. It ain’t there, bubeleh. Nobody is going to help you out, either. You got to go with your gut when it comes to matches, when it comes to understanding who people really are and who would be their love match. A gut is a wonderful thing. But sometimes your gut lets you down, and in those cases, don’t panic. If your gut isn’t helping, be patient and study your matches awhile. They’re not going anywhere. Go ahead and study them
.
Lesson 3,
Matchmaking Advice from Your Grandma Zelda
I RECOGNIZED him by his polyester shirt, gold chains, and chest hair. The world spun around, and I saw black. I was on the verge of passing out. I never could stand the sight of blood, and here I was face to face—excuse the expression—with a lot of blood. Dr.Dulur was in there somewhere, underneath the gore, and the thought of what happened to him made me retreat toward unconsciousness.
But my skin prickled. A new sense took over that woke me up. I became at once aware of my surroundings. It occurred to me that I was in danger, that a sadistic murderer was around, and that my face could be the next to go.
With a shaky hand, I rummaged in my purse for my cellphone. I had Spencer’s number on speed dial. He had inputted the number into my phone, saying something about Danger-Prone Daphne and succumbing to the inevitable.
I stared at Dr. Dulur’s bloody head while my hand fished around in my enormous bag. I should have gone with a small clutch like Lucy. She managed to be very organized with a tiny purse. She even had a little pocket just for her phone. Why couldn’t I be more like Lucy? She didn’t have cavities. Her life wasn’t in danger. She wasn’t staring at a man with no face.
My hand blindly reached my wallet, my brush, and my Chinese diet tea. I threw them out of my bag, trying to clear the way to find my cellphone. By the time I got to it, I had a pile of items at my feet. Dr. Dulur hadn’t moved. The only sound had been the gentle thud of my purse’s contents hitting the plush carpeting.
I pushed buttons on my phone, careful not to take my eyes off Dr. Dulur, but the phone wasn’t working. I frantically pushed more buttons. I had just charged the phone that morning before meeting Belinda, but now it was dead. A whimper escaped from my throat. I realized the cellphone company had chosen that moment to cut off my phone. I wanted to kick myself for getting the Ecuadoran Erect. I should have paid my cellphone bill instead. Now I was alone with only Dr. Dulur’s corpse and possibly a maniacal killer to keep me company.
I dropped my purse to the ground and slowly turned around, scanning my surroundings. Fluorescent lights illuminated every corner of the dental office. The large space filled with examination rooms was empty. I could easily see over the low walls to tell that Dr. Dulur and I were the only ones there. The two side room doors were open, and from what I could tell, they were empty, too.
With no immediate threat, I took a deep breath and approached Dr. Dulur. I gingerly checked for a pulse, holding two fingers against his
Chapter 4
I s there a sign on my head? Do I walk around with a neon sign telling you I like french fries dipped in chocolate shakes? Do I have a billboard on my chest saying I can’t stand men who pick their teeth after dinner? No! So you don’t know me. I don’t have a label. You know what I mean, dolly? People don’t have labels. They don’t have signs over their heads. Nobody comes with a set of instructions or an owner’s manual. You can’t figure out a person just by looking at him. Or her. Throw away the stereotypes. If you think you see a label, remember it’s only a mirage, like an oasis in the desert. It ain’t there, bubeleh. Nobody is going to help you out, either. You got to go with your gut when it comes to matches, when it comes to understanding who people really are and who would be their love match. A gut is a wonderful thing. But sometimes your gut lets you down, and in those cases, don’t panic. If your gut isn’t helping, be patient and study your matches awhile. They’re not going anywhere. Go ahead and study them
.
Lesson 3,
Matchmaking Advice from Your Grandma Zelda
I RECOGNIZED him by his polyester shirt, gold chains, and chest hair. The world spun around, and I saw black. I was on the verge of passing out. I never could stand the sight of blood, and here I was face to face—excuse the expression—with a lot of blood. Dr.Dulur was in there somewhere, underneath the gore, and the thought of what happened to him made me retreat toward unconsciousness.
But my skin prickled. A new sense took over that woke me up. I became at once aware of my surroundings. It occurred to me that I was in danger, that a sadistic murderer was around, and that my face could be the next to go.
With a shaky hand, I rummaged in my purse for my cellphone. I had Spencer’s number on speed dial. He had inputted the number into my phone, saying something about Danger-Prone Daphne and succumbing to the inevitable.
I stared at Dr. Dulur’s bloody head while my hand fished around in my enormous bag. I should have gone with a small clutch like Lucy. She managed to be very organized with a tiny purse. She even had a little pocket just for her phone. Why couldn’t I be more like Lucy? She didn’t have cavities. Her life wasn’t in danger. She wasn’t staring at a man with no face.
My hand blindly reached my wallet, my brush, and my Chinese diet tea. I threw them out of my bag, trying to clear the way to find my cellphone. By the time I got to it, I had a pile of items at my feet. Dr. Dulur hadn’t moved. The only sound had been the gentle thud of my purse’s contents hitting the plush carpeting.
I pushed buttons on my phone, careful not to take my eyes off Dr. Dulur, but the phone wasn’t working. I frantically pushed more buttons. I had just charged the phone that morning before meeting Belinda, but now it was dead. A whimper escaped from my throat. I realized the cellphone company had chosen that moment to cut off my phone. I wanted to kick myself for getting the Ecuadoran Erect. I should have paid my cellphone bill instead. Now I was alone with only Dr. Dulur’s corpse and possibly a maniacal killer to keep me company.
I dropped my purse to the ground and slowly turned around, scanning my surroundings. Fluorescent lights illuminated every corner of the dental office. The large space filled with examination rooms was empty. I could easily see over the low walls to tell that Dr. Dulur and I were the only ones there. The two side room doors were open, and from what I could tell, they were empty, too.
With no immediate threat, I took a deep breath and approached Dr. Dulur. I gingerly checked for a pulse, holding two fingers against his
Similar Books
